Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB

Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (Full Version)

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omlaazim -> Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/2/2014 1:44:06 AM)
Im a on going learning Dom i ve been exploring life style for 12 years but Ive only had Fwb and Im looking for someone I can connect with, then we can grow deeper more intimate and connected like we ave never felt before. Are the genuine sites where I can explore and try and find that one special Sub that connects with me as I will with her. just let me know that Ray

MsLadySue -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/2/2014 3:35:53 AM)
There are similar sites to this one but I doubt you will find it any easier to connect to that special sub. Your best bet is to go to local munches and meet people of like minds. Make friends and possibly someone will know someone else who might be a good match and introduce you. It's rather difficult to find "the one" through a written medium. If you do run across someone of interest, meet them sooner rather than later to know if the chemistry felt on line carries over into real time.

DesFIP -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/2/2014 8:01:14 AM)
Your profile talks only about sex, not about intimacy. It's not appealing to women. You could go to local munches. But you could also just date, and be honest with a woman about what you like as a relationship dynamic and what you like sexually. The rule of thumb here is that if you can't talk about sex with someone, you shouldn't be having it. In addition, 12 years unable to form a relationship says to me that you have some baggage you need to work on. We all do and there's no shame in admitting it and getting help. There's a lot of shame in not addressing the problems and never getting to a point where you can have a happy life solely because you're too afraid to admit needing help.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/2/2014 8:04:51 AM)
What MsLadySue said. Finding a relationship in the scene is little different than a 'normal' one. While it is possible to find what you seek online, nothing beats laying the Mark 1 eyeball on someone and experiencing them in the flesh. That's where you'll really find who you're looking for. Munches are a stepping-stone to the following stages, so be prepared to make at least a time commitment to the local groups. A few weeks back, at a munch, I had an interesting conversation with a gent who did just that. He offered to help out with an event the munch host was running, and now he's considered a pivotal member of the local group. Just something to think about. Good luck.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/2/2014 2:35:42 PM)
I would recommend going to some of your local munches & getting to know the gals as people first, because they are people first. Also, flesh out your profile more with stuff about you as a person, what kind of person you're looking for besides just the sex/kink, things like that. Right now, it's not very appealing to women the way it is. NBMG

peppermint -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/3/2014 10:08:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsLadySue Your best bet is to go to local munches and meet people of like minds. Make friends and possibly someone will know someone else who might be a good match and introduce you. His profile says he's an expert at munches. Either he checked Expert without knowing what a munch is, or he goes to munch and still can't find someone.

evesgrden -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/3/2014 1:29:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint quote: ORIGINAL: MsLadySue Your best bet is to go to local munches and meet people of like minds. Make friends and possibly someone will know someone else who might be a good match and introduce you. His profile says he's an expert at munches. Either he checked Expert without knowing what a munch is, or he goes to munch and still can't find someone. Maybe he's a munchies expert. Spelling is not his strong point.

Musicmystery -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/3/2014 2:23:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: omlaazim Im a on going learning Dom i ve been exploring life style for 12 years but Ive only had Fwb and Im looking for someone I can connect with, then we can grow deeper more intimate and connected like we ave never felt before. Are the genuine sites where I can explore and try and find that one special Sub that connects with me as I will with her. just let me know that Ray 12 years is a long time to have been exploring and yet not know where to go to satisfy your appetite. You need to try here -- they're in 106 countries. I've used them myself, and I've usually been satisfied.

InHisHeart -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/3/2014 3:03:16 PM)
[sm=biggrin.gif]

Bhruic -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/4/2014 8:08:57 AM)
The question is the same whether it is a sub, or a vanilla partner you are looking for. And the answer is the same... they can be found anywhere. This question gets asked a lot though, and it suggests a kind of laziness... as if the question is really "where can I find a woman who openly advertizes herself to strangers as a submissive, and will commit to me so I don't have to do any work developing the relationship in that direction" I think the answer to that question is... nowhere. Intimacy in any relationship requires and investment in time and emotion. A successful, intimate, long term D/s relationship will start with meeting someone you can see yourself falling in love with, and then embarking on that relationship with your whole heart, until the intimacy and trust allows you to explore your desires with each other. Of course, you can improve your odds of being compatible in your kinks by meeting people in the right context, like clubs or munches... but there is really no short cut to love and intimacy, and both parties have to do all their own heavy lifting.

poise -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/4/2014 10:17:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic there is really no short cut to love and intimacy, and both parties have to do all their own heavy lifting. Likes x 154016565201

Lohea -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (5/13/2014 2:23:17 AM)
The biggest kink websites are alt.com, fetlife.com and collarme.com. There isn't much else out there in terms of kink social networking sites. We need to work with what we're provided, even if the website design hasn't been updated in TEN YEARS. [-glares at the Collarme coders-] If you aren't finding what you're searching for on these sites, it's possible you need to refine your search and refine how you're seen by the submissives you're after. You need to work hard to get what you're looking for in this lifestyle. We all do. There are so many variables, hard limits can be a deal breaker for a lot of promising looking relationships where as vanilla relationships have far fewer instant deal breakers like that. Another suggestion is your local kink community. It's possible that you're better presented in person than online. If there's a local community, try it out.

Arturas -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (6/7/2014 5:40:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: omlaazim Im a on going learning Dom i ve been exploring life style for 12 years but Ive only had Fwb and Im looking for someone I can connect with, then we can grow deeper more intimate and connected like we ave never felt before. Are the genuine sites where I can explore and try and find that one special Sub that connects with me as I will with her. just let me know that Ray Yes. The Collarspace side is where we find our ying to our yang. It is ideal for social contact with someone you can connect with and can grow with. I met star there in five or six years ago and we connected and grew together. I'm thinking I'm not the only one. But don't hang on collarchat too long, it is fun but still a distraction to that goal.

DarkSteven -> RE: Where do I find THAT SPECIAL SUB (6/7/2014 11:32:48 AM)
The question is, how committed are you? The fact that you haven't returned in a month, even though you have visited the site yesterday, indicates that either you do not take suggestions well, or you just don't care to spend the effort to improve your profile.

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