difficulty knowing

difficulty knowing (Full Version)

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LunaBluekink -> difficulty knowing (5/4/2014 5:43:55 PM)
I'm 22 and new to the scene. As a female searching for a Mistress im finding it really hard to find someone who will take the time to get to know me and understand what I am seeking. I appreciate it's difficult to know anyone without a few sessions or meetings .. but when you are in my shoes and you're from a small town travelling a long way alone to do something so major to you, I need to feel assured I can trust whoever im going to see, and any anxieties I have will be put at ease. How would you recommend approaching this? What's the best way to get to know your potential Mistress without wasting her time or annoying her! I have so much respect for Dommes, I would only ever want to impress her, once I find her.

MsLadySue -> RE: difficulty knowing (5/4/2014 6:15:03 PM)
The most important thing is to be yourself. Do not try to be what someone wants. Always pay attention to your gut feelings when getting to know someone ... if you are having doubts (you might not even know exactly why yet) then whatever you do, don't jump into anything. Decide what is important to you. It might help to make a list of what you are interested in doing and what you have no interest in (hard limits) and use these as your guide when speaking with the Dominant. Keep in mind that no one is your Dominant until you decide to become their submissive. Do not allow anyone to start dominating you before you've met and know that you are compatible as people (sans the kink). It is the same as dating where there is a 'getting to know each other' stage before anything else happens. If you find someone you're interested in and it's mutual, talk, talk and talk some more until you both understand what each is looking for out of the relationship, both vanilla and kink. The one thing we run across with new submissives is 'sub frenzy' where the newbie is so anxious to begin her new way of life that they don't take into consideration the pros and cons. Always keep in mind that it's a two-way street. You must have your needs met as well as the Dominant getting hers met. Do not settle for less than what will bring you happiness because you are just as important as your dominant. This link might be of some help to you http://www.collarchat.com/m_4384180/tm.htm

LadyLucan -> RE: difficulty knowing (5/5/2014 5:14:35 AM)
I agree with MsLadySue - being yourself is the only way. Openness and honesty are so important. I would add that I think it's really important that all parties have a clear sense of their hard limits, and ideally some idea of soft limits as well.

MzBlackOnyx -> RE: difficulty knowing (5/5/2014 6:51:47 PM)
Yeah, what MsLadySue said. The Black Onyx

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