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Being used - 7/9/2006 4:22:52 PM   
swtsurrender36


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		i'm currently talking to a Master, who says it turns Him on to see His slave being used by another man.(preferably african american) . i was wondering what other submissives/slaves think about this. This is new to me. One side of me is turned on by the thought of seeing my Master sitting over to the side watching this..and one side of me is a little scared ..seeing that this is something outside my box. i think tho that with what i know about this Master He is a very loving and protective Master and He would never set this up unless it was a safe situation.
  Would love some insight on this topic..
All my best,
  swt
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 4:28:34 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Well…in MY world such a thing could happen, I suppose…after we’d known each other at least a few years and I’d been collared to him for quite awhile.    To be expected to do stuff like this on a first meet (or six) is a bit unrealistic, me thinks. 

But...as usual this is just MY opinion...my not so very humble opinion; your mileage may vary.

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 7/9/2006 4:29:30 PM >

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 4:29:08 PM   
Msenslave


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I hope this Master is also as 'turned on' by protecting your sexual health!!

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 4:38:34 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Sounds much like a sexual kink he has - but hey, whatever floats ya boat! ;)

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to Msenslave)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 4:51:11 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		My Owner enjoys watching me with other guys. Seeing as I've begun to realize I'm poly-wired myself I have trouble understanding why this is as big a deal to people as it is (assuming, of course, that safe sex practices are always followed and that one's Owner has assured the health of whomever one is with) but that's only from my POV.

With us, the first thing was to make sure our relationship was very very very secure. That we knew that we loved/were committed to each other first and that there wasn't any temption or chance of any parties invovled taking anyone's place. After that, in my book it's easy. You throw yourself into it and if for some reason you're not into it, do your best to get excited knowing your Owner's into it.

Again, though, I enjoy being with others, I enjoy showing off for others. I think though, that it's important to cement -your- relationship before bringing anyone in, even in a very casual sex capacity.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 4:53:21 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		For myself, no. I realize that interacial is a kink for some, but for me it is not a kink I am interested in because if I was sexual with a Black  man it wouldn't be a kink, it would be because I was attracted to him as a human being.... But your kink is not my kink and your kink is ok.

As far as the other parts of your post go, I had talked about "sharing" with my former dom, who at one time was also a swinger before he discovered Ds and it turned him on more profoundly between the ears than swinging did. He still wanted that as part of his sexual life also though. I thought I was ok with this because I had fantasies about it, but alas when it came down to doing it I didn't want to and I was afraid to go there.. I thought perhaps it was too soon in our dynamic, but in retrospect it wasn't a kink I wanted to actualize. I am glad it didn't happen.

I would make sure that this is ok for you before you agree with it, not just on some level of an attractive kink "perhaps", because it might happen a lot faster than you had even considered it would... You have the power to set your limits, and if you are unsure, I would set it here.

I wonder about your true readiness to engage in this and whether or not you can talk to your dom about it, because I would not post such a question unless I felt some level of insecurity about talking to my dom about it. If it is a new relationship this is not somewhere I would go quickly, and I would wonder about a dominant that pushed past my soft limits if I voiced them really soon in a relationship.  You have not said this, but if that is the case I just voiced this idea for you to consider.

Talk, talk, talk to your dominant and let him know if you are still unsure about this, because it doesn't matter how I feel about group sex, or any other person posting on CM, it matters how you feel about it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 5:01:12 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		From what you are saying.. I will assume you haven't met him.. I can only assume though.. so I will just go with that.
 
I think if this also turns you on and it's done in a safe way, there is nothing wrong with it.  Yes, I know the opinion that you are the slave and if he enjoys, you do it.  This is the real world though, you have a right not to do anything that you don't feel is safe for you..be it physical or emotional.  It may seem a turn on to you in your head, but there is a different between fantasy and being in the room while it is happening.. big difference. 
 
If you decide this is something you want..really want..then I say go and do it.  I would prefer that it be after your real time with the Master is pretty grounded and the trust built..for your safety as much as anything. 
 
I have asked this of me and I prefer not to do it.  Yes, it's his body in a way, but in the end.. I have to live with the consequences of the actions(emotional/physical), not him.
 
Just make an informed and safe decision....
 
Good luck , Andrea

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 6:02:15 PM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtsurrender36

i'm currently talking to a Master, who says it turns Him on to see His slave being used by another man.(preferably african american) . i was wondering what other submissives/slaves think about this. This is new to me. One side of me is turned on by the thought of seeing my Master sitting over to the side watching this..and one side of me is a little scared ..seeing that this is something outside my box. i think tho that with what i know about this Master He is a very loving and protective Master and He would never set this up unless it was a safe situation.
Would love some insight on this topic..
All my best,
swt


*Smiles* I've been grappling with this as well. The thought of pleasing Him drives me nuts (in a good way) and the fantasy is THERE....perhaps  there are some underlying insecurities? Wish I had the answers for you.........Warmly, Irish


< Message edited by irishbynature -- 7/9/2006 6:17:00 PM >

_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 6:13:58 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtsurrender36

i'm currently talking to a Master, who says it turns Him on to see His slave being used by another man.(preferably african american) . i was wondering what other submissives/slaves think about this. This is new to me. One side of me is turned on by the thought of seeing my Master sitting over to the side watching this..and one side of me is a little scared ..seeing that this is something outside my box. i think tho that with what i know about this Master He is a very loving and protective Master and He would never set this up unless it was a safe situation.
Would love some insight on this topic..
All my best,
swt

If you both want it, go for it. Afterwards, if you don't like the way it made you feel, tell him so.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 6:41:07 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		As Andrea said, this is the real world and you should only do it if it is safe for you and only when you have a firm stable relaitonship with your Master/Dom.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 6:46:23 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes we talk about fantasies and that is really fun and erotic in and of itself.

Sometimes a Master will talk about something to feel you out and see if you share the same fantasy.

Sometimes a Master will talk about something he is planning on doing with you.

You won't actually know til you try it.

I wonder if this is cuckold?





(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 6:57:11 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear swtsurrender36, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my personal opinion; I would address the health issues as a priority.
Any STD tests any time before this 'union' should be redone as to establish sexual health/safety for all concerned.  So many people walking with infections don't even know it as carriers don't know that they have been infected.
 
In all cases, communications is so important but, you only have one body and responsible to be your best advocate for your future health.
People come and go in your life but, you have your body that you have from birth to death.  Reservations are perhaps your 'gut' instincts of reasoning/logic that something might be a problem.
 
I also don't crutch sexual safety with condom use.  Anything man made is prone to failure.
 
Just do make sure that your safety is overseen by you and not rely on another's say so.  As the paramount rule in the Master-slave dynamic of my time, is that a slave is responsible for keeping themselves --to include the Master himself.
 
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 7:29:48 PM   
cheshireboy


Posts: 217
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		my look on it is slightly different, but then i assume that all of it is consentual, and that the health factors are taken into account, if it was me, i would do it, and try to be as good as i could....to not fail in my owners eyes, knowing that what i am is owned, and if they want to use me that way i would, and relish in the fact and be very content that i am being objectified and used.  this is not just because it is sexual, but all of it in any way i would want to do my very best to please an Owner.  it is very easy just another act of service.

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 8:04:11 PM   
Passion357


Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:


i'm currently talking to a Master, who says it turns Him on to see His slave being used by another man.(preferably african american) . i was wondering what other submissives/slaves think about this. This is new to me. One side of me is turned on by the thought of seeing my Master sitting over to the side watching this..and one side of me is a little scared ..seeing that this is something outside my box. i think tho that with what i know about this Master He is a very loving and protective Master and He would never set this up unless it was a safe situation.
Would love some insight on this topic..
All my best,
swt


It's no secret that Master and I are Poly, but that has little to do with the kink factor of "playing" with Others. Playing can mean sex, beatings, sceneings, (made that word up)lol etc.

I was Collared to Master for about 3 years before He ever gave me to Another. There have been times He merely watched (and some photo taking happened) and there have been times He joined in, as well as times I have been (literally) wrapped around a pole, stuck between two Men. (or is that stuck 'by' two Men? <grins>)

First address your relationships strengths. Make sure He and "Ya'll" is what you want. Then build a firm foundation. As far as inter racial sex...not for me..but not my place to judge you and Him on such.

I hope He is merely looking for ideas of *who* you are and *what* you want, and is not trying to make this a *now* priority, as it seems you and He have not know one another long.
Just be careful  STDs are not something Anyone wants. (nor unexpected child bearing from a kink play session...) If in fact tis what you want, truly, deep down inside, guard yourself, make sure you are mentally stable ( as well as physically well, of course) and GO FOR IT
                                                                       Well Wishes,
                                                                          ~Mate'~

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 8:12:28 PM   
BelleAnne44


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I've gotten close to this situation myself and have wondered how people deal with it, so I'm really glad you posted, swtsurrender.

Exactly how does one go about finding out if the other party is clean?  I mean, do people walk around with lab results?  Do they get a test and bring the results to the scene?  I'm assuming everyone involved is not a virgin, and multi sexual partners is a risk factor for STDs....so what do you say?  How do you say it?  I don't have anything that proves I'm clean.  What would I ask my doctor for to show that?  How does this work?

I'm also looking at that divide between erotic fantasy and then real life nuts & bolts.  I guess we never know until we try, but I'm glad for my ability to say yes or no.

(in reply to cheshireboy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 8:23:17 PM   
Dtesmoac


Posts: 565
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		Different slant on this, some time ago I was asked by a freind to be the "safety man" on somethign like this. I simply drove the woman to a remote spot, then blindfolded on a leash lead her to where two strangers were. My role was simply a trusted friend to keep her safe and make sure safe practises were applied. I admit it was one of the most stunningly erotic experiences I have ever had, and she wasn't my sub and I wasn't physically involved. Not sure how much prechecks were done, but it was her fantasy and she made it happen..........and loved it. But the potential for things to go wrong are enormous and need to be really thought out.

(in reply to BelleAnne44)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 8:50:06 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BelleAnne44

I've gotten close to this situation myself and have wondered how people deal with it, so I'm really glad you posted, swtsurrender.

Exactly how does one go about finding out if the other party is clean?  I mean, do people walk around with lab results?  Do they get a test and bring the results to the scene?  I'm assuming everyone involved is not a virgin, and multi sexual partners is a risk factor for STDs....so what do you say?  How do you say it?  I don't have anything that proves I'm clean.  What would I ask my doctor for to show that?  How does this work?

I'm also looking at that divide between erotic fantasy and then real life nuts & bolts.  I guess we never know until we try, but I'm glad for my ability to say yes or no.


If I were to do this I would have my own test results in hand, expect them to also, and have the guy wear a condom anyways

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BelleAnne44)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being used - 7/9/2006 9:54:11 PM   
doubleLeo


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe if I knew the third party and had an attraction there would I partake in an early poly experience.
If it turns you on, regardless of his needs then I would say be safe and have fun. If you arent sure how you might feel ( including maybe not so good) then I would take the time to find the right third. And in turn, it would give you both time to see how you connect without it.
dL

(in reply to swtsurrender36)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being used - 7/10/2006 3:11:09 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		I guess my question would be: Is this a very public scene or a private one (just you/Him and another?) As I'm debating this issue in my own mind...public vs. private is coming into play with my own 'issue' on the subject....
*Blows my hair outta my face--and thinks*
Warmly,
Irishbynature


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to doubleLeo)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Being used - 7/10/2006 3:14:12 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		Also, in my own submissiveness, my desire to 'give' is so strong that in 'giving' --it's a major turn on to please....but then there's that tugging inside with the question, "Am I really ready? One one level, yes...on the other, scared."
Irishbynature


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to irishbynature)
Profile   Post #: 20
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