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RE: Bait and Switch - 8/10/2014 5:16:26 AM

Mistressmonkey

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/8/2014
Status: offline

Sorry this happened, but thanks so much for posting it. Was just speaking with a friend yesterday about this. Amazing the lengths people will go through to be deceitful. I personally would want to kick his ass.

(in reply to TuliTheUnruli)

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Post #: 21

RE: Bait and Switch - 8/16/2014 10:46:31 AM

littleboyfluff

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/26/2014
Status: offline

Wow, I have the reverse problem in every way. There is no bait and switch, they are upfront about it, and its the females that are super dangerous here.

Most of the female dommes on this site seem to be self absorbed, vain, sadistic, assexual, criminal even.

Fortunately, they are very up front about revealing it in their profile. I've surfed oceans of them. OCEANS. They go on forever. Its always pretty much the same theme, but can be distilled down to this:

"Let me beat this shit out of you, while you worship me, but there will be no sex at all involved, and btw, if I'm a findom, give me all your money. Oh yes, and I'm a professional. You disgust me, but supplicate to me anyway."

Now if put these female profiles to the litmus test, and you flipped that around, so that instead of these being female dommes profile, they are male profiles instead, and refer to how they'd treat a female, you have to think... that (male) person is one total sick fuck. This guy wants to beat the shit ouf of females, have them worship him, treat them like shit and beat into them that they disgust, and steal all their money. This Marquis de Sade guy pretty much needs to be in prison for domestic abuse or something.

But these aren't male profiles, these are female profiles, no man would dare to write that vain abusive rubbish... to attract the most wretched of human beings.

I don't know what person would want to enter into such a dysfunctional relationship as that. There are very few, to the ocean of vain females living a vain sadistic power trip in their mind. Certainly the submissive is not getting any sexual thrill out of the relationship, so its like, these fem dommes have absolutely nothing to offer.

It seems to me, females, being disenfranchised traditionally in Western society, from power, just never learned or don't know how to wield power very well. They are clumsy at it, and the sadism rules them rather than they ruling the power inside themselves.

A real fem domme does not need your money (she has her own), is in control of the power inside of her and does not let it run rappant wild (think Margret Thatcher), is not trying to be a pro or professional anything (professionals = doctors; flicking a whip and having a lot of rubber toys does not make you a professional anything), and would rather take care of her sub rather than enter into an abusive, dysfunctional relationship with someone that is so groveling it disgusts and annoys her and any relationship made is on the fast path to self destruct.

Now I'm willing to compromise on a lot of things... I'll play your kink with you if you play mine... but very few people really want to enter into a relationship with an assexual vain sadist that are the bulk of femdomme profiles here. I mean, would you? Seriously? There is nothing you could possiblly get out of a relationships with such a person but catastrophe, pain, and emotional damage.

(in reply to missbrownjinx)

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Post #: 22

RE: Bait and Switch - 8/16/2014 11:46:20 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

And 70% of those profiles are actually written by men with stolen photos.

You want to meet a real domme? Then go to your local munch where they feel safe meeting people. Behave like an ordinary person meeting potential friends. Don't expect a strict quid pro quo, makes you sound like every ass who has said "I bought you dinner, you owe me sex". Become friends, because women don't enjoy having sex or sexual play with people they don't like.

And change your avatar because no woman here who sees it will be attracted. Dick pics are a turnoff. Unless we love you, or you're paying us to do so (which most of us will turn down) we are only interested in seeing the dick when it belongs to someone we love. Not to random strangers.

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(in reply to littleboyfluff)

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Post #: 23

RE: Bait and Switch - 8/16/2014 6:58:09 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And 70% of those profiles are actually written by men with stolen photos.
<snip>

Perhaps not stolen, but littleboy, your avatar is most misleading. You are not a female or transgender wearing a strap-on, nor are you going to attract a MommyDomme here with that profile pic.

I am not a MommyDomme, but neither am I sadistic (nor a Fin-Domme). A few Domme friends of mine are on this site, and not only are we not dangerous (one is a Kind Sadist), but we do not look down on our submissives or mistreat them in any way. Not speaking for all Dommes, but we don't view our sub partners as being inferior to us, merely subordinate to our wishes by their natural, instinctive desire to please us.

Now I will say this, it isn't uncommon for ALL Dominants to be somewhat self-absorbed or to have firm or unyielding expectations when it comes to what kind of D/s relationship dynamic they want; it's a matter of personal preferences--whether to be high protocol or to have a more relaxed style of domination. Many, but not all, of us may impress non-Ds as being obsessive-compulsive and/or controlling. The flipside of this, though, is that most s-types WANT a strong, intensive degree of control and domination. What would a D/s power-authority dynamic be if Dominants were appealing to say, NON-SUBMISSIVES who don't want to be dominated??? Wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, would it?

Your own profile states that you want to be spanked until you "behave" and do as you're told, just as your Mommy wishes. There are other men who have a humiliation fetish, which is quite common. Doesn't turn me on, but I can dish out some mild name-calling if that's what my sub gets into, although I'm more into pet names and showing affection. My Hard Limit is having a sub who DOESN'T have a healthy libido, and the same with my Domme friends who also want and/or already have a fully-integrated sex life. What is contradictory on your part is how you complain about "vain sadists," yet you are seeking a Domme "who likes power and maybe with a dash of sadistic side" for yourself. Conflicted much?

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(in reply to littleboyfluff)

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Post #: 24

RE: Bait and Switch - 8/19/2014 12:57:57 AM

missbrownjinx

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/11/2014
Status: offline

Ignore the trolls FieryOpal. Said little boy just joined the site and is already bitching. Like we haven't heard this 'where are all the real dommes' whine ad infinitum. It's probably a sign of my 'disgust' and 'asexual nature' that when I hear these whiny posts I feel like slapping the poster until he comes to his senses.

Why does everyone feel the need to outline what a 'real domme' or 'real sub' is anyway? Is there some fucking BDSM bible that I missed somewhere?? Maybe held by some ancient order a la Da Vinci Code or Volturi (Twilight, if you get the reference)?

Gimme a break. Men especially, no matter what their label, always seem to be searching for some ideal of perfection. Spoiler: that doesn't exist.

I don't give oxygen to the trolls. If they want air, trust me, I will choke them out.

Back to our regularly scheduled program.... Ask a Mistress is the name of the forum btw.

(in reply to FieryOpal)

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Post #: 25

RE: Bait and Switch - 8/19/2014 8:51:57 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

To the OP, I'm truly sorry this has happened to you. I know we are all telling you to get over it, and it happens on the net and there was also great advice about meeting in a public place but even then when you allow someone to view you in your home online and give them your personal information; it's a huge violation of privacy and trust and the saying once bitten, twice shy still applies.
I can hope and SO CAN YOU, that this is just a passing cloud to a new dawn of possibilities.
I have also made a similar mistake like EVERYONE ELSE but your story was shocking for me, I'm not even sure how I'd react. There are dominants in submissive clothing (mostly the masochistic control freaks who have specific kink lists but this goes beyond topping from the bottom), so I urge you to be prudent in your search and to allow yourself as much time as you need to feel the person out and be EXTREMELY observant for warning signs. And to be honest, I have had subs give me their login information before on a whim so I can check their message history. Some might think when just talking online it's unnecessary but when you get to the point to letting someone into you life, close to your family and friends you can never be too cautious as a woman.
Prudence is essential, and unfortunately as MsBrownJinx said no method is fullproof. You keep your fingers crossed and go for it.

As a footnote, I avoid very demanding, needy, fetish specific, body worship inclined (meaning sex, as if), or just outright rude and aggressive (assertive) subs.
They send my warning flags blaring. And edited to add: What a shock, a male submissive who had to have his hand in Domme bashing, take Des's advice in that case, thanks. And as I stated before OP, I AVOID kink specific subs, thanks for sharing dear and my best to you!

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 8/19/2014 8:58:23 AM >

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(in reply to TuliTheUnruli)

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Post #: 26