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Lohea -> RE: slave vs. submissive .... Can they be separated ? (5/13/2014 2:10:12 AM)
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The definition of slave vs submissive varies from relationship to relationship and person to person. So you can't base your judgments on that word alone.
I honestly feel like any difference between the two is entirely fabricated. It's like asking the difference between a Dominant and a Top. There is no difference, there's just... traits tied to both. What traits are tied to which is entirely up to the person speaking the word, so you can't at all go by that.
Originally, a slave was somebody who had no control over their lives and their situation. That is what being a slave meant as little as one hundred[?] years ago in North America. Across the world, that's still what being a slave means. In the BDSM world that term loses it's consent definition, as it's generally assumed that BDSM and D/s is consensual.
If you're a submissive and enter a new relationship, limits and such will be discussed. Try not to get hung up on slave vs submissive and what they call you. If a Dominant tries to tell you that you aren't a slave because blah blah blah blah, that doesn't make them right. It's just like, his opinion, man.
A submissive can be a woman who is bratty, or it can be a woman who is entirely obedient and trust worthy. Just the same a slave can be a woman who is constantly obedient to their Dominant's wishes, or somebody who has limits, boundaries and preferences as every person does. Just about every "100% obedient" slave will have discussed boundaries and limits beforehand.
The issue can be as simple as you're growing apart, rather than a slave vs submissive issue as you seem to feel it is. A Master takes care of his slave, or his submissive, regardless of the title. If your Dominant is not taking care of your emotional side, even though you are openly reaching out to him and not doing some read between the lines bullshit, then maybe it's time for a permanent break.
You also don't seem to be very good with articulating yourself through text... is that something that carries on in your real life as well? Because through both of your replies, I still barely understand what your question is. They were quite long replies, as well. Is it possible that you aren't explaining your needs and desires well enough?
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