Gauge
Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
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Disclaimer: I haven't reworked my profile in far too long, I admit it... but it doesn't invalidate what I am about to say.
OK, first of all, not a bad profile... perhaps though a rewrite is in order to clarify some thoughts and to get your message out there faster. I'll get to the rewrite in a minute... but first the photos.
1. Your main photo is fairly unimpressive, your face is mostly in shadow because of the hat, the setting could be a bit more interesting but if you are selling yourself, then the feature should be you, and it is not a good starting point.
2. Take down the "introvert" thing and put that in to your own words in your profile. If you want to say something and pique someone's interest, an Internet meme is not the way to do it, if you say it in your own words, who you are will come out.
3. In three of your photos you are clean shaven and in the others you are not... which version of you is you currently?
4. Two of the photos have you in some sort of costume and yet you say nothing about why you are up, in front people, with a microphone in hand, and enjoying yourself doing so. Note: If you look at my profile, my pictures pretty much explain that I am a musician.
5. Most of your photos whether clean shaven or with beard, you look pretty well groomed. The two close-ups one with the jet black hair and the other with the lip piercings you look a bit straggly. The message that I get from that is there is a progression going on in your life where you do not care about taking care of yourself and looking decent. While I feel that criticism is a bit trite, you have got to understand that you are wondering why you are getting no response... if I can get this feeling from your pictures, women looking at you that may have an interest might see that and hit the "next" button. Suggestions: Don't cut your hair or do anything different with the color if that is how you wear it, don't take out the piercings if you wear them all the time and don't put on a nice shirt... but do show that you care a little about how you present yourself. A really quick note, if you as a dominant show little consideration and caring for yourself, a submissive may well run for the hills.
Summation: I cannot understand those that suggested you to overhaul your outward appearance, that would be lying if it is not who you really are and how you look all the time. Combing your hair, trimming your beard so it looks nice, and changing the setting of your pictures will help people figure out who you are and show that you are capable of caring for yourself. Online, submissives have the luxury of being picky due to the ratio of men vs women, dominants need to impress quickly or they may well lose their chance.
The Writing:
Generally, explain who you are first, not what you are looking for. In short, we are on a BDSM site so it is a given that the kink element plays a part, but if you want to get someone interested in you, tell them about yourself. Think about this as if you were approaching someone in a bar or coffee house, you wouldn't tell them that you are looking for someone kinky and that you are a dominant. You would start by getting to know each other. Also, do away with the excess spacing between paragraphs.
quote:
Mostly I'm just looking. Friends and playmates alike are what I am looking for.
My ideal sub is someone that can converse with me on a level beyond the kink. This means with both words and body to me. Someone to share my experience with.
While I may be younger than what most would consider to be an age that speaks of knowledge, I do have a bit under my belt.
With your first line, I would be closing your profile page and moving on to the next dominant. You make a negative point about yourself even more with the last line. Frankly, your age has little to nothing to do with your dominance or your abilities. I have always been dominant, but I never really came into my own true discovery of that until later in my life when I was in my thirties. If you are a beginner, that is absolutely fine... we all had to begin somewhere. What other people may think has no bearing on your knowledge; your practical, hands on experience is a totally different matter. If you are a beginner, say so and explain that you are learning and willing to learn more and grow with the right person.
In your quote here, I am going to number the lines and make comments below the quotes.
quote:
1. I am a military veteran. I was in the U.S. Navy for 2 years before I was injured and discharged. Though it was hard I did gain some rather good things from it.
2. I still practice my Martial arts when I can and love to play video games in my free time.
3. Some of my hobbies are writing poetry and short stories. Though spell check is a good friend of mine as I have trouble spelling and sometimes speaking what I am trying to think out.
4. I prefer to live in the desert as that is where all of the best memories from childhood are.
5. I'm a nerd. I read Tolkein, Herbert, McCaffrey, Jordan. I watch anime and superhero movies.
6. I listen to a little of everything. But most rap, country, r & b, blues tend to grate on my ears so I tend to listen to rock or instrumental music most of the time.
7. I am a spiritual person... This does not mean I am religious. I don't pray to a god, though I believe in forces far beyond what we can comprehend at this time.
8. A good talk about physics is always welcome. And on that note The Big Bang Theory is a favorite show of mine.
9. My humor is there... It's just hard to tell when I am making a joke most of the time. I tend to have rather dry humor.
10. I prefer cats over dogs, Motorcycles over cars. And would rather stay in on a Friday night and spend time cooking with you before we sit down to a movie with some friends, rather than go out and aimlessly walk around a store or sitting at a bar.
11. Also I don't like to share. So take that in mind. It's either one or none.
1. Good information. Maybe relate a few things the military helped you learn.
2. Should be listed with your hobbies and interests.
3. Spell check and your ability to communicate is not a hobby and should be addressed elsewhere, if at all. Some advice to you is that you teach yourself how to think about what you say and what you write before you write it or say it. Your weakness in this area may well chase someone away because in BDSM, and relationships in general communication is essential. If you struggle in this area, it is no shame to admit it, but it could be said differently. For example: I am always trying to improve myself in all areas of my life. But don't say that unless it is true.
4. A better way to say this would be to simply state that Las Vegas is your home. If you want to explain why you love it there, then do so.
5. Should go with hobbies.
6. This is fine. R & B should be in upper case.
7. Good information.
8. If you enjoy intelligent conversation, say so. I know a great many highly intellectual people that don't know fuck-all about physics. The Big Bang Theory should be listed with hobbies.
9. Huge red flag here. If you have a dry sense of humor, say so, but saying that it is difficult to tell when you are joking or serious speaks something that is quite negative about yourself. This would read better if you would say, "My sense of humor is rather subtle and dry." Subtle humor may be difficult to understand, but the way you point that out screams to me that you have communication problems.
10. Cats and dogs, motorcycles and cars are interests and hobbies (more or less) and would read better placed with interests and hobbies. I do not like when people say in their profiles "I want to sit down with you and _______ or _______." I mean, I understand what you are saying, but to be perfectly honest with you, I have no interest in experiencing those activities with you and your reader may not either. Making your profile speak specifically to one person is not the best idea. If you are more general with what you want to do with your partner and how you like to spend your time, it just flows a bit better in my way of thinking. The better way to say what you said would be, "I am more of a homebody and would like to find someone who likes to stay at home and spend time together cooking or watching movies with some friends, or having interesting conversations. Wandering aimlessly at the mall or hanging out at the local bar is not something that I enjoy."
11. This line doesn't mean anything the way it is worded. Are you saying you are a selfish asshole, or are you saying that you are looking for a monogamous relationship? If you are saying that you are a selfish asshole, good luck finding someone. If you are saying that you are looking for a committed, monogamous relationship, say so. If this is what you are looking for in a partner it belongs with those thoughts.
You may take or leave my opinions and/or suggestions. I hope this helps.
_____________________________
"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick
I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.
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RE: Questioning my profile - 
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