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Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/12/2014 9:03:43 PM

fluffyprincess

Posts: 64
Status: offline

I have edited my profile a lot over the past couple of months. I edited my profile again today, and I tried to say just a little bit about myself, and what I'm looking for...and also, include why I won't reply to a message. But am I saying too much?
I'm trying to attract Dom men, not subs like myself, or switches...as I'm entirely submissive, and I need the structure that a Dom could provide for me.
Some help would be much appreciated, thank you. ^^;

Post #: 1

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/12/2014 9:13:00 PM

Blonderfluff

Posts: 2253
Joined: 10/9/2013
From: Down the Shore
Status: offline

Hi FPrincess! Good to see you again. I just ran over and checked out your profile. Good girl! It looks much, much better than the last draft! It's even a bit funny in parts ( I particularly like the "because I think you're creepy" line).

Maybe say a bit about the type of man you are looking for? That's the only thing I could add.

And no. You did NOT say too much. I think you hit it just right. Let's see what some others come on and say!

_____________________________

Don't fear moving forward slowly...fear standing still.

I'm Blonde. Jane Blonde.

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 2

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/12/2014 9:17:31 PM

MyMadeleine

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/19/2014
Status: offline

Your profile is very good, puts you out there as a real person and definitely touches on your interests on the vanilla side. All I could suggest is maybe taking what you say about being very submissive and seeking structure in your post here and elabourating on that in your profile as well so there's a taste of both your sides.

(in reply to Blonderfluff)

Post #: 3

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/12/2014 9:27:19 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

I have edited my profile a lot over the past couple of months. I edited my profile again today, and I tried to say just a little bit about myself, and what I'm looking for...and also, include why I won't reply to a message. But am I saying too much?
I'm trying to attract Dom men, not subs like myself, or switches...as I'm entirely submissive, and I need the structure that a Dom could provide for me.
Some help would be much appreciated, thank you. ^^;

Yeah, you're saying too much. Don't list the reasons you don't reply to messages, especially the way you have them phrased now, because insecure guys can think they don't measure up, and that encourages them to send a followup nastygram. Instead, say something like, "I get more mail here than I can respond to. I'm grateful for almost all the mail I receive here, but I can't always write people back. So if I don't respond, good luck in your search."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 4

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/12/2014 9:49:24 PM

fluffyprincess

Posts: 64
Status: offline

I won't remove the reasons I won't reply to messages, but I will remove the ones that are too vague or emphasize on them some more.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 5

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 1:24:50 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Seems pretty decent. The only thing I'd change is your primary photo. I know it goes with the username because of the crown, but maybe you could re-take it? The room behind you is really messy and that's offputting. Also the light makes you look blue - the ones taken outside are much more flattering and you look so much healthier in the decent light.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 6

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 1:55:39 AM

Lohea

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/5/2014
Status: offline

I get a lot of replies to my profile and out of the lot maybe 1/100 is the type of person I'm looking for.

My profile is only a few lines long as well as my likes and dislikes kink wise, but I think it speaks volumes about who I am without saying too much.

I think that certain things should be left to a private conversation. If you've already answered all of the questions the person may want to ask you, that leaves little room for discussion and can make it difficult to get to know the person. This may seem counter intuitive, but leaving 'something to the imagination' can be important with a profile. So what if you get to know somebody and five messages in find out there's a serious bump in the road? That's just one more person you got to know through conversation.

The 'things I feel strongly about' section is completely unnecessary. Again, it takes away from the conversation and the 'getting to know you' part of it. Instead of a 'would you be open to having children?' conversation and a polite 'no, that isn't for me'. You've changed it into 'so why don't you want to have kids?' A simple 'no drugs, no smoking' could suffice. The basic understanding is that everybody is against bestiality, animal abuse and child porn. You don't... really need to say it unless you're asked.

You're on a kink website and you expect to meet up with somebody then find out if your kinks match up? That isn't at ALL what Collarme is about. We want to know from the get go if you are alright with getting pissed on, because if not, then there's no point. Very few Dominants and even fewer Doms close enough to you to do so, will want to take you out on a date, supposedly pay for your meal then later on find out you have a strict 'no bondage' rule. Be realistic.

It seems funny to me that you're on a kink website, don't want the person to know what your kinks are from the get go but you want them to know that you don't want kids from the get go. It is so counter intuitive. That may cater to the palates of a few Doms, but the masses do not want the mask you're putting up.

You may be more suited for a place like E-Harmony or Ok-Cupid, where you can put 'I'm a little kinky, too!' Without it being a major flaw in your profile that you haven't listed whether or not you like adult baby play.

There's my two cents.

Just one more note, I strongly suggest you remove the reasons you won't reply to messages. It's been said before in this thread and you posted asking for help with your profile. It makes you seem like a stick up the ass rather than a submissive. It's very judgmental and nobody likes that.

Smarten up.

< Message edited by Lohea -- 5/13/2014 1:57:11 AM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 7

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 4:54:29 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

I have another view. My profile list reasons why I won't respond and even instructions on how not to piss me off. This has been working wonders in terms of increased quality people contacting me, there is a huge drop in the number of PM, but the ones that do contact me are so much more pleasant to exchange messages with. I am getting better PMs, and less of the nuisance ones. People actually do follow instructions, most of them. Of course you still get the one or two idiot who sounds like airheads contacting you, thinking they are dominant.

It all depends. I don't have time all day to converse with every single person to find out our compatibility beyond kinks. By putting out as much information about me as possible out there, it naturally help me filters. The ones who read my lengthy everything would have liked everything BEFORE bothering to contact me and we will have more to build on.

That's just my opinion. Quality and not quantity.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/13/2014 4:57:47 AM >

(in reply to Lohea)

Post #: 8

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 5:13:38 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Your approach is much better than the OP's, though, because you frame your thoughts as friendly advice. The OP's profile reads more as, "You didn't measure up for X Y or Z reason."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 9

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 5:47:25 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I don't know if this will be helpful or not but, I think there may be a few men who agree with me ...

I didn't get past the word: "brat". Once I see that, I'm out.

I'm not looking for an argument on whether or not it's a legitimate "kink" or anything like that. That's not my affair but, maybe you could describe what you mean by it instead of using it?

Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 10

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 10:01:24 AM

fluffyprincess

Posts: 64
Status: offline

I've tried changing my profile picture...it's still the same for me, no matter what I've done, (uploaded a new pic, deleted it, cleared cache, uploaded a new one...still see the one with the tiara while I'm on the forum). Hopefully it at least changed for everybody else.
Deleted the reasons why I won't reply.
Deleted the brat part, as it's not a huge part about me anyways.
Also added my kinks back. I don't know, I guess I was thinking that it would make it so less creepy guys message me about my kinks.

< Message edited by fluffyprincess -- 5/13/2014 10:08:01 AM >

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 11

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 1:57:42 PM

Lohea

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/5/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I have another view. My profile list reasons why I won't respond and even instructions on how not to piss me off. This has been working wonders in terms of increased quality people contacting me, there is a huge drop in the number of PM, but the ones that do contact me are so much more pleasant to exchange messages with. I am getting better PMs, and less of the nuisance ones. People actually do follow instructions, most of them. Of course you still get the one or two idiot who sounds like airheads contacting you, thinking they are dominant.

It all depends. I don't have time all day to converse with every single person to find out our compatibility beyond kinks. By putting out as much information about me as possible out there, it naturally help me filters. The ones who read my lengthy everything would have liked everything BEFORE bothering to contact me and we will have more to build on.

That's just my opinion. Quality and not quantity.

I like that, actually. I didn't ever like the 'reasons I will not reply' section, but it actually works for you?

I'm going to give your profile a boo. Usually the 'reasons I will not reply' section is filled with superficial crap. I can't wait to see what angle you take on it.

Edit - I had a look and I think the big thing is that your 'don't contact me if:' area works because it is indeed non-superficial and also at the very top of your profile, there. It's also clearly defined, in the red ink, so it makes it very easy to spot and anybody who's taken the time to read your profile has no excuse not to read that section.

OP, you may want to scratch my advice to take that section out all the way and just edit it to look more like Greta's. I'm not saying exactly hers, but take some pointers.

< Message edited by Lohea -- 5/13/2014 2:01:45 PM >

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 5:07:12 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

-fast reply

OP, who cares what submissives or women think of your profile? Are you interested in attracting a woman or a submissive? If your goal is to attract a dominant man, then if I were you I would be interested in the opinions of the dominant men who have read your profile and answered your OP here.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to Lohea)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/13/2014 5:20:05 PM

fluffyprincess

Posts: 64
Status: offline

Thank you, I'll take that into account when I get home tonight. I don't have time right now to edit my profile, as I'm about to leave for class...but yeah, I guess it makes more sense to listen to opinions of a Dom.
Not saying that anybody else doesn't have fair points or advice...but as you said, it's Doms who I'm attracting, not women or submissives...so a Doms perspective means a tiny bit more.

_____________________________

Jingle bells Bratgirl smells, Birdboy laid an egg! The batmobile lost a wheel and Puddin got away!

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/14/2014 6:14:21 AM

LordHeimdall

Posts: 33
Joined: 4/27/2014
From: NW Indiana
Status: offline

Overall I think your profile is decent. I'm NOT Looking, so parts where I say it would or wouldn't catch my attention are all Hypothetical to me.

Here is the version I'm commenting on:

quote:

I identify as a submissive and babygirl. I am not in a relationship, and I am not owned. I do not believe in being owned outside of a committed monogamous relationship.

Seeing as I am submissive, and a babygirl, I am looking for a Daddy Dom, who can add structure to my life.

Good to know right off the bat. Tells me I wouldn't be the Dom to write to you. I'm not looking for a 'Baby Girl' as I'm not a 'Daddy' Type.

The part about wanting a committed monogamous relationship is also good to know. If I was looking that is what I'd be interested in.

quote:

I want to find somebody with common interests, and common goals in life. That is what's most important to me.

I grew up in Portland, OR, but I moved down to California in 2009. I miss the rain, and no sales tax that Portland had to offer. Moving back up to Oregon would be great some day.

I enjoy reading, drawing, photography, and watching movies. Drawing and photography are only hobbies, to keep me entertained.
I've recently gotten obsessed with Batman all over again. Especially Batman: TAS, because it has my favorite Joker, and Harley Quinn in it. <3 I have yet to read the comics, but that's on my to do list for the summer.
I am a huge believer in communication. All relationship problems start with a lack of communication, which is why I will always be open with my feelings, and I would expect the same out of somebody I would be dating. That being said about communication...I most likely won't message you first, because I'm too socially awkward.

Eh. I can live with a batman obsession. I'm into Doctor Who (and I mean the original 7 as well as the current series), as well as Star Trek so who am I to cast stones. Can't say I'm obsessed with him, but I don't miss when the Super Hero Movies (Any of them) come out.

quote:

Things I feel strongly about:

-I do not ever want to have children. I have known this my entire life, and I know that I will never be changing my mind about it.

-I am against any form of drugs, and also smoking. I will not tolerate either. I do not want to be concerned if my Dominant is sober enough to concentrate on my safety during play, which is why I have zero tolerance for any form of drugs. I'm against smoking because I've lived with smokers, seeing as they were family, and I hated it.

-Against animal abuse

-Against incest, bestiality, and child pornography

All of this is good to put out there. Especially if your looking for that Monogamous relationship that could go long term. Best to let those men know you don't want children and to pursue a relationship with you would be a childless one.

Also the part about letting them know you want no Smokers or Drinkers or any other type of Drug User.

I personally can't stand any of those commercials for 'Feed the starving Children' and 'Give us your money so we can feed these poor darlings.' Tell their parents to stop breeding like jack rabbits. Start by feeding OUR homeless that are truly homeless, and even then I probably wouldn't donate because I'm too jaded due to seeing the scum that go to those shelters that don't WANT to work and refuse to even try.

But a tear comes to my eye every time I see an ASPCA Commercial and wish I could donate to those poor abused animals...

Now... That's just a start. Tell me why I should want to right to you on top of any of that? You've piqued my curiosity with your 'Vanilla' Side. Without too much detail, arouse the Kink in me.

Once again, for me, this is all hypothetical. So if you go to my profile it's pretty bare bones. I'm not trying to get anyone to notice me or write me. Haven't even been in the 'Lifestyle' long, but I have had a dominating personality all my life...
When I was a private in the army, my Squad Sergeant once told me, " 'Heimdall,' you know, sometimes I have to look down at my collar and check to make sure I'm the one wearing the stripes..." Hey, that's a good story to add to my Profile....

_____________________________

Heimdall, Lord only to one.

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 15

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/14/2014 12:22:46 PM

fluffyprincess

Posts: 64
Status: offline

Thank you for your input! Hopefully the bottom part I added is good enough for the kink side? lol

_____________________________

Jingle bells Bratgirl smells, Birdboy laid an egg! The batmobile lost a wheel and Puddin got away!

(in reply to LordHeimdall)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/14/2014 4:45:27 PM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline

It's a good profile, and I like the new picture. You have a sweet face and I think that picture matches your profile very well. My only suggestion is to prune your interests list drastically. IMO, loves, dislikes and hard limits are the most important categories.

_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/15/2014 2:34:57 AM

LordHeimdall

Posts: 33
Joined: 4/27/2014
From: NW Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyprincess

Thank you for your input! Hopefully the bottom part I added is good enough for the kink side? lol

Much better. For my Hypothetical I'm definitely ruled out. I'm 47...

Fix the Double space between:

quote:

I want to find somebody with common interests, and common goals in life. That is what's most important to me.

I grew up in Portland, OR, but I moved down to California in 2009. I miss the rain, and no sales tax that Portland had to offer. Moving back up to Oregon would be great some day.

If you want to break them up add a bar. "Insert Horizontal Ruler" in the menu choices between the Ohm Symbol and the Binoculars. See my Profile and you'll see how I use it.

Same with all your Double Spacing wherever you Bolded your Text.

To me anybody who won't IM, (AIM, Yahoo, Skype) with me at some point so I can at least hear their voice and know I'm talking to a real life woman and not a dude catfishing and you would be able to re-assure yourself of the same before the relationship went too far. That would be a Red Flag and I personally wouldn't bother messaging them in the first place. That said, you named 'Steam' as an alternative. I know I for one have no idea what it is, so you might want to include a link as to how someone would get 'Steam.' I did a Bing search and came up with a game reference but no clue how I would download it.

I for one think all your interests in the left should stay. It fleshes you out to me.

Hope my insights help and help you find your one.

_____________________________

Heimdall, Lord only to one.

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 18

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 5/17/2014 12:26:00 AM

Lohea

Posts: 23
Joined: 5/5/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

It's a good profile, and I like the new picture. You have a sweet face and I think that picture matches your profile very well. My only suggestion is to prune your interests list drastically. IMO, loves, dislikes and hard limits are the most important categories.

Doesn't matter, she said she's not looking for a woman's or submissive's opinion on her profile.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I saying too much in my profile? - 6/7/2014 5:15:06 PM

slaveoubliette

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/22/2014
Status: offline

it is not that you are saying too much or two little in a profile. The problem is fakes and scams abound on all internet sites. So say what you say but mean what you say. Don't engage in countless or pointless discussions. Online relationships are in no way like real time. If you want a real time relationship than go to a BDSM party or munch and go from there

(in reply to fluffyprincess)

Post #: 20

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