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The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 8:25:20 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		There have been times when posters have generously offered advice, offered encouragement or kicked my butt into enlightenment! :) Sometimes, I've benefited from reading as they helped someone else. I'm just very grateful for their presence in my life, albeit, online.

So, this thread is to share stories or anecdotes that celebrate the powerfully good things we receive from participation in the CM forums/message boards.

A reminder - don't use names and keep it focused on the reasons to celebrate each other.

Here goes...

As a newbie, I discovered a Dom, a Domme and a Switch, on the threads who showed patience. They were firm about doing my homework and learning our lingo, so as to be better understood here. The time they took to communicate the importance of knowing terminology, and to question how others were using it, saved me a lot of hurt. I was offending people unintentionally but the posters showed me how to improve so I rarely do that anymore.

So, I'm grateful for unofficial mentoring on how to use terminology successfully. It really feels like all things flowed from there.

ETA - Unlike the "Positive Experiences" thread, this one deals with online interactions only, and specifically what happens here, on the message boards.

< Message edited by BecomingV -- 5/14/2014 9:03:32 AM >
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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 8:37:10 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		When I first started my first 24/7 full time D/S relationship, and although the dom I fell inlove with was not from CM, but we had teething problems and there was a dom who I met on CM who patiently listened to me and encouraged me to keep working things out with my dom and help me understand things from my x-dom point of view. He was incredibly kind. His actually based in Singapore as well, and we exchanged phone numbers and were texting each other alot. So anyway, I don't know where he is or what he is doing now, because I lost my old phone and lost his contact, and also, my x-dom shutdown my old CM account, and locked me out of it, when I was with him, he had my password as I kept everything transparent with him. But sometimes you meet some really nice dude. There is also someone else who I think he saw me posting in this forum and then contacted me, and we are still emailing alot and his been a great listener to me as well, it's nice to meet fellow bdsm'ers who can just be a friendly friend and who I can share things going on in my life with as well as my kinky adventures.

(in reply to BecomingV)
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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 9:11:00 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		Greta, That's great! I've been in the middle of of thread when one poster asked another, "aren't you so and so... welcome back, how've you been?" The threads do bring lost people together occasionally.

The kindness of the other Doms certainly helps newbies, especially, I think, fight the urge to flee the lifestyle when the D/s relationship ends.

Also, I'm sure your story serves as a warning to the people being asked to give over passwords. Either way they choose, the cautionary tale is there to be known.

Yes, the kindness shared on the boards is certainly worth celebrating. :)

< Message edited by BecomingV -- 5/14/2014 9:12:20 AM >

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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 9:21:30 AM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline 		I just wanted to pop in here and add a note and don't wish to hijack the thread: Never, NEVER, give your passwords to anyone. What someone can do with your account can cause some pretty serious ramifications, not just on site here, but could do so in other more damaging ways. If someone wants or demands your password it could be a 'bad guy' or a simple request from a partner, but if you haven't met them and really don't know who you are dealing with, you might be very careful about it. Just say no.

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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 9:28:40 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV
Also, I'm sure your story serves as a warning to the people being asked to give over passwords. Either way they choose, the cautionary tale is there to be known.

Well, when I was in my vanilla marriage, my x-husband had passwords to my everything, my emails, phone, Bank cards, everything, so when I went full time with my x-dom, it was normal for me, and I believe he would only do these type of juvenile things when his angry with me, but not do anything major, but oh well, it's just a CM account. Infact, he shut down this Greta one too, except for some reason, even after deleting, it still stayed. He just wanted me to stay out of CM because in his crazy mind, he thought I was stupid that any doms could talk me into fucking them and I would end up with someone who could really harm me. He often tried to explain to me that, it wouldn't be my fault, but I would be so gullible, blah blah blah. And I guess the issue is that, it didn't take much effort on his part for me to trust him so he sees me as this super naive person who needs alot of protection from my own "over trustingness", but that's totally not true. I am an instinctive person, which means, I do not choose my mate through logical deduction, but completely through gut feelings. Plenty of super nice doms that I never even want to meet because I feel uneasy about them inside. And anyway, my gut with him is right, his great, his paranoid about my safety and I feel extremely safe when I was with him, his super anal about safety during plays, and I can't choose anyone better who really cares about my physical welfare and still does, I still get reminder from him about safety protocol when meeting strangers.

The teething stage issues were more like, I gave him a list of limits and he managed to come up with new things that is not in my list of limits that I refuse to do. So.., can't blame him either but at the same time, he thought of things I never thought of, which was due to my inexperience I suppose. But when I finally did get over my objections, and did it, I was happy to have experience it. My x-dom has PTSD, but is in denial he has it, but I lie in bed beside him every night, seeing him have terrible nightmares about his military experience and sweating enough to soak our whole bed, so alot of his overly paranoia behaviour was due to that issue.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/14/2014 9:40:49 AM >

(in reply to BecomingV)
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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 10:02:31 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		Hi Mod 3,

Your input is welcomed, too. :)

Yeah, if you look at the NCSF - the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's site, you can peruse cases they deal with which sometimes include postings from an online source having been used to "out" someone at their work, and then they got fired.

It appears, that NOT giving out your password can protect the partner from being pulled into these kinds of legal risks. In other words, if someone hacks... than that's that. But if someone hacks an account that shares access with another, well, they'd have to be sure the partner didn't do something, before looking elsewhere.

There is much to consider beyond, "Giving my password shows total access."

Here's the NCSF link: https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

And, I'd like to point out, that another thing to celebrate in the threads, is you, Moderator3, stepping in to add some valuable perspective.

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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 10:06:33 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		Greta, Okay, I read that post twice. It looks like what you celebrate about others on the boards is that one of them sent you a safety protocol reminder? You kind of wandered off there... just trying to find the relevant point. Did I get that right?

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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 10:09:05 AM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Back to thank-you's!

First off: we're all here because of the generosity of this website.
And for me personally: When I get moronic sadistic sociopathic troll-mails, and I get discouraged in my search for my next good man: I enjoy coming onto the threads and finding schaudenfreudic even worse examples, and lovely replies from Dommes and even lovelier sub men which renew my faith in humans and humanity.

Thanks!


_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to BecomingV)
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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 10:20:07 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

Greta, Okay, I read that post twice. It looks like what you celebrate about others on the boards is that one of them sent you a safety protocol reminder? You kind of wandered off there... just trying to find the relevant point. Did I get that right?

Safety protocol was from my x-dom, I did not meet him from CM, although he does lurk on CM. I was just responding to the advice not to give out passwords and why I gave it and it wasn't a negative thing for me, even though my old nickname was shutdown. I had the password to his CM profile as well anyway.

(in reply to BecomingV)
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RE: The Thank You Thread - 5/14/2014 10:39:08 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		Greta's post reminds me of something else I was taught by other board posters. Staying on topic and how to handle a need to post something off topic. Here's what they instructed:

Start with "Moderators, sorry to go off-topic, but I think this point needs to be made here." That's because going off-topic is not encouraged, or should I say, allowed? Then, use the specific person's name if you are directing a point to them only. This allows other readers who came to the thread for interest in that topic, to skip the off-topic points, if they like. Then, be certain to end with a comment that does pertain directly to the OP.

This is another way in which experienced posters taught others how to inject something in a polite and considerate and respectful way.

Greta - no worries, I used to post off-topic like that, too. :) Your posts are interesting and thoughtful and I enjoy your perspective.

< Message edited by BecomingV -- 5/14/2014 10:42:01 AM >

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