How can I attract the attention of a potential Mistress?

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How can I attract the attention of a potential Mistress? - 5/15/2014 3:42:51 PM

hilypo

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/21/2012
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I'm currently looking for a Mistress to learn the ways of this lifestyle under, so what would spark some interest right off the bat? What would you want to see, in a profile or a message?

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/15/2014 3:51:29 PM

NakedHouseboyPA

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Place a photograph of a very full wallet on your profile............that's will do it.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/15/2014 4:22:51 PM

hilypo

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Joined: 3/21/2012
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Haha, yeah you're right about that, but then you just get the fakes and scammers. I've been dealing with them for months, and my wallet is only fat when I fill it with pennies. I'm looking for real people.

< Message edited by hilypo -- 5/15/2014 4:23:21 PM >

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/15/2014 4:44:28 PM

thompsonx

Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

Haha, yeah you're right about that, but then you just get the fakes and scammers. I've been dealing with them for months, and my wallet is only fat when I fill it with pennies. I'm looking for real people.

Can't a "real domme" be attracted by a financially successful individual?

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/15/2014 4:51:41 PM

hilypo

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Yeah why not.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/15/2014 5:19:37 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

I'm currently looking for a Mistress to learn the ways of this lifestyle under, so what would spark some interest right off the bat? What would you want to see, in a profile or a message?

Whoa, there tenderfoot. Less than half of your profile isn't too bad, but most of it is a scam magnet in BIG RED LETTERS. You're a virgin--we get the point. Did you think you could go out to play and NOT run into any predators?
Being a newbie, being trainable, your willingness to submit, that's fine. But you're not here to submit to every Dominant who comes along nor go along with what anybody calling herself a Domme tells you to do.

I'll let you in a little secret. Human nature is human nature, and we like to tease and we are selective in whom we favor. If you don't care with whom you do whatever, and therefore won't view us as special, then why should we bother with you?

And here's another tidbit of information. Roughly (in my estimation) nine out of ten relationship-oriented Dommes are NOT turned on by crossdressers, by sissification/feminization, or "forced" bisexuality. You got duped. If these are things YOU want to do, then that's up to you to find a compatible Domme. If you're letting yourself get manipulated into doing things that YOU are wrongfully assuming will please your Domme, or if you have some notion that somehow acting like a fill-in-the-blank slut will make you more desirable, you couldn't be more wrong.

I'll let you in on another secret. The reason why you are so eager and willing to let yourself be objectified and toyed with is because you see Dommes as sex objects or your BDSM delivery system through your FemDom-porn laced lens. Reverse pedestal. Any act of so-called "Worship" you offer to perform is tainted.

The advice I'm going to give you is to get with a group of young adult kinksters like yourself (35 & under), meet other young people at local munches, and befriend other subs who have more savvy than you do so you can steer clear of Dominants who would only use you for their own amusement and then discard you like a broken toy. Nobody wants to play with a broken toy.
You want that one special Mistress who will want to use you but who will actually care about you, and you're not ready for that level of commitment yet. Become the kind of submissive who values himself, the kind that a Mistress would be desirous to own.

Lose the bit about your leftover bag of toys. Your future Mistress doesn't want to use your leftover stuff. Take out both references to pictures of you in kinky heels because first of all there are none (thankfully), and second--WTH is arousing about that? That would be something that turns YOU on, not us.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/15/2014 8:56:27 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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What SHE said. ALL of it.

NBMG

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/17/2014 5:06:06 PM

pleasemsbliss

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/18/2014 6:23:43 PM

AchingSensuality

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"And here's another tidbit of information. Roughly (in my estimation) nine out of ten relationship-oriented Dommes are NOT turned on by crossdressers, by sissification/feminization, or "forced" bisexuality. You got duped. If these are things YOU want to do, then that's up to you to find a compatible Domme."

Yes I also have that issue, I am not at all attracted to cross-dressers, etc…yet it seems that there is a lot of that online, an assumption that (lifestyle) Dommes are into that…I don't know exactly how that originated, it seems to be a projection. I notice other dommes saying similar things on their profiles so I am glad to learn I am not the only one.

My guess is because there are many men who are into cross-dressing, and on the flip side, many men who are into being humiliated by being forced to wear women's clothing. Although I feel that the latter are men that are attracted to the former and just unwilling to own it.

As for myself... I am a woman that abhors the idea of 'forced feminization' as I feel that it is actually demeaning to my gender. The fact that you feel that wearing an article of women's clothing makes you less than worthy is insulting to me.

On the flip side however... I am a woman that adores seeing a man's package all bundled up behind a dainty piece of lace or silk. In my mind, the juxtaposition of soft material to male hardness amplifies the male hardness. Huge turn on. Huge.

Am I wired weird? I don't know, I just know what I like.

(in reply to pleasemsbliss)

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/23/2014 6:45:56 PM

twoholewonder

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/29/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo

I'm currently looking for a Mistress to learn the ways of this lifestyle under, so what would spark some interest right off the bat? What would you want to see, in a profile or a message?

Be honest about who you are, your experience, your interests. Have and show a genuine interest in her interests outside D/s. Be yourself, be funny. Use proper diction, grammar and spelling. Capitalize words accurately and don't expect miracles over night.

These are relationships you're forming, and like all relationships, they take time to build.

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Blessed are the cracked, for they will let in the light.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/26/2014 10:04:21 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hilypo
I'm currently looking for a Mistress to learn the ways of this lifestyle under, so what would spark some interest right off the bat? What would you want to see, in a profile or a message?

Honestly, h, I think most women in your general age range will be interested in taking control in the bedroom, if you make sure they feel it is safe to make a mistake. No reason for you to focus on fetish web sites. Date in person, and using standard sites like OK Cupid.

The big secret to meeting women, and getting laid is:

Women are people, just like you and me.

You may think I am insulting your intelligence, but I promise you I'm not. Take a moment to think about how you treat women. Do you behave in the same way as when you deal with other people (men, or children)? Probably not. Does talking to women make you nervous? I'm seeing a woman who is ridiculously accomplished in some ways. She was telling me about dates with a guy a while back. He was attracted to her resume, more than her, and he was a bit intimidated by her. I said, "Don't take this wrong, but I'm not intimidated by you at all." She responded, "I know! That's what I *like* about you!"

So how did I win her heart? It included spending money on her, but I did it in a particular way. I slowly bought her nice things. At this point, the sheets on her bed, the water bottle she drinks from when the exercises, etc., are all purchases I made. None cost more than $25 or so, and now she's surrounded by material things that say "RedMagic1 cares about you."

So, in sum: treat women like real people, and demonstrate compassion and care. Then you'll get not just attention, but attention from women who are worth your time.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/26/2014 1:24:52 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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**HIJACK**

RED!!! ! *tacklehugs smoooches*

** end hijack**

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/27/2014 2:33:51 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasemsbliss

"And here's another tidbit of information. Roughly (in my estimation) nine out of ten relationship-oriented Dommes are NOT turned on by crossdressers, by sissification/feminization, or "forced" bisexuality. You got duped. If these are things YOU want to do, then that's up to you to find a compatible Domme."

Yes I also have that issue, I am not at all attracted to cross-dressers, etc…yet it seems that there is a lot of that online, an assumption that (lifestyle) Dommes are into that…I don't know exactly how that originated, it seems to be a projection. I notice other dommes saying similar things on their profiles so I am glad to learn I am not the only one.

I would disagree, but then, I don't socialize with other Dommes very much outside of cyberspace.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/27/2014 2:36:37 AM

GoddessManko

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From: Dante's Inferno
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I find forced sissification to be a form of emasculation which is quite thrilling for me personally. Again, cannot speak for other Dommes and I have never been the same Domme to any given sub. I enjoy sadism playfully. Some subs were more cbt focused (no sissification) etc etc... I even had one female sub before who was the kinkiest of them all.

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/27/2014 2:50:07 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasemsbliss

Yes I also have that issue, I am not at all attracted to cross-dressers, etc…yet it seems that there is a lot of that online, an assumption that (lifestyle) Dommes are into that…I don't know exactly how that originated, it seems to be a projection. I notice other dommes saying similar things on their profiles so I am glad to learn I am not the only one.

I would disagree, but then, I don't socialize with other Dommes very much outside of cyberspace.

For further clarification, per my Post#6: "And here's another tidbit of information. Roughly (in my estimation) nine out of ten [straight lifestyle,] relationship-oriented[non-cyber] Dommes are NOT turned on by crossdressers, by sissification/feminization, or "forced" bisexuality."

I presume you are among the roughly 1 out of 10 who is into these sorts of things; however, your being bisexual may contribute to having an attraction for the feminine. The straight Dommes I know are not attracted to effeminate men.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to GoddessManko)

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/27/2014 2:55:13 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
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From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I presume you are among the roughly 1 out of 10 who is into these sorts of things; however, your being bisexual may contribute to having an attraction for the feminine. The straight Dommes I know are not attracted to effeminate men.

Hi Fiery! And ew no, I see men as men and women as women. I see TS as either or depending on their androgyny. There is no possible way I would try to emasculate a woman, I cannot wrap my head around that and I NEVER see either sex as the same in any form or fashion. That's a bizarre concept.

Edited to add- TBH: Not all Dommes are the same including the straight ones (as we all know), some prodommes will force sissify their clients because its' what the clients WANTS but she does not (There is no power exchange there). That to me makes her more of a kinkster than a Domme but again, all these things are relative. I usually do what pleases me in all settings, that's the only constant. I'm not very good at compromising. And if 9 out of 10 Dommes do hate sissification it's a shame because 9 out of 10 subs REVEL in it. I guess I get to enjoy my playtime no matter the weather. ;)

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 5/27/2014 3:15:15 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/27/2014 3:50:09 AM

FightingChains

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
There is no possible way I would try to emasculate a woman.

I don't believe Fiery was suggesting that you'd be emasculating women. I think she was suggesting you would emasculate men.

Emasculation:
"to deprive (a man) of his male role or identity". Note: Not to deprive a woman.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/27/2014 4:29:24 AM

FieryOpal

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Hi Fiery! And ew no, I see men as men and women as women. I see TS as either or depending on their androgyny. There is no possible way I would try to emasculate a woman, I cannot wrap my head around that and I NEVER see either sex as the same in any form or fashion. That's a bizarre concept.

Edited to add- TBH: Not all Dommes are the same including the straight ones (as we all know), some prodommes will force sissify their clients because its' what the clients WANTS but she does not (There is no power exchange there). That to me makes her more of a kinkster than a Domme but again, all these things are relative. I usually do what pleases me in all settings, that's the only constant. I'm not very good at compromising. And if 9 out of 10 Dommes do hate sissification it's a shame because 9 out of 10 subs REVEL in it. I guess I get to enjoy my playtime no matter the weather. ;)

9 out of 10 "straight" male "subs" are not D/s subs--they are BDSM bottoms.

Why would OP need to know how to attract a pro-Domme? Easy, peasy--have cash (and not act creepy), will travel. Hence my focus on lifestyle/LTR-oriented Dommes.

Good of you to pop in, FC, on an even kneel.

If I would have said something, it might have come out sounding unintentionally snarky.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/28/2014 10:35:16 AM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
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From: Dante's Inferno
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FightingChains

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
There is no possible way I would try to emasculate a woman.

I don't believe Fiery was suggesting that you'd be emasculating women. I think she was suggesting you would emasculate men.

Emasculation:
"to deprive (a man) of his male role or identity". Note: Not to deprive a woman.

It is BIZARRE to think I would see either gender in any form of a similar context PERIOD, was my point. You must have missed it unsurprisingly.
Also Fiery, I'm a lifestyle born and bred alpha from two alpha first of their family (7 siblings to them both who they both helped raised) embedded genetically in my DNA types. Don't paint with a broad brush sweetpea. It's unbecoming.
Also, you can look up how even straight men can get a boner from their prostate and most likely have at some point in their "straight" lives. I'm sure the info is splattered all over the glorious internet and you'll see I'm correct. Also it might be browsing through almost 80 pages of email on this site alone and over 10 years experience as a lifestyle D. But who am I to say what other D's experience is like? :)

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 5/28/2014 10:48:49 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

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RE: How can I attract the attention of a potential Mist... - 5/28/2014 6:18:51 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
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I love sissys, cds, and tvs but if you would like to stick to the topic. "How to attract..." Pull up your pants and tell me a joke (a good one) I would have no interest in knowing that you are willing to show your ass to the world (enough people do that on these forums already)

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 5/28/2014 6:20:01 PM >

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