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I recognize two things - 5/16/2014 6:56:01 PM

YourBigDaddy1967

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/23/2014
Status: offline

I recognize

1)that we are are still in economically tough times and that this may go on for a while yet, so I need to keep a civil tongue in my head at work, Even when I'd like to tell the boss that they are a complete tool.

2) My ex wife had a Master's degree in Social work with a minor in psychology She worked as a professional counselor until she went NUTS. I read her books, attended lectures with her.

I've read the DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) from cover to cover. I've read books on short term and brief therapy, assisted her with lectures and classes for NAMI (National Association for the Mentally Ill) So, While I don't have the paper (Diploma) I would say I have a damn good grasp of mental illness and therapy.

So... can someone PLEASE for the love of God explain to me why my manager's management style is a direct rip off of most of the clinical books on brief and short term therapy. She even goes so far as to replace some of the Buzz Words that you would find in counseling with similar words that can be used interchangeably.

she uses bull crap like "How do you define success" "What does (X) look like to you" "Define that for me" " How do we get you over this hurdle and get you to success" and every last one of use is required to have a one on one meeting with our managers once a month. What in hell is this a job or a shrinks office?

I want to look her in the eye and tell her lady, I've been analyzed by professionals that would make you look like little Mary sunshine. While I was with my ex wife she wanted me to go to counseling with her, in an effort to save my marriage. SO I have been through my ex wife, my ex wife's mother also a social worker, five different shrinks, and at least a dozen social workers and counselors all in an effort to try to keep my marriage together and then afterwards to get the crap she did to me out of my head.

All of that to say I don't really care to go to work to be analyzed or to have you try to use my words against me or some other bullshit. Why can't I just go to work and be left to do my damn job!

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RE: I recognize two things - 5/16/2014 7:08:10 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

How can you deal with her, without her pushing your buttons?
What can you do to make it a better environment?
What would a better environment feel like to you?

(in reply to YourBigDaddy1967)

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RE: I recognize two things - 5/17/2014 2:32:46 AM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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There is a new DSM-V book out. Saw it the other day at my doc's place. Any p-doc worth a grain of salt would be using it, not the old books.

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RE: I recognize two things - 5/17/2014 8:29:58 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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OP - how does your manager make you feel?

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

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RE: I recognize two things - 5/17/2014 9:39:40 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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You're 46, for Christ's sake. You're talking like a 20-something in his first job.

I used to own a management consulting business, specializing in labor management. And this is an area where "Flavor of the Month" runs rampant -- even the dominant theories come in and out of favor every few years. People honestly don't know better.

Generally, managers are good workers promoted to supervisory positions. Once that happens, two bad things happen: (1) the business has lost its best workers, and (2) hired inexperienced managers.

Managing is difficult. No longer is one paid for time and labor, but for judgment and influence -- no longer to produce goods, but to produce results through other people. And *everyone* thinks "if *I* ran this place . . ." until they actually do--and find it doesn't work as they'd fantasized.

Part of that stems from the popular belief that labor is a cost--and it is, in fact, the highest cost a business faces (even 1-person operations, if we consider the implicit wages the owner is paying himself with an investment of time). It takes a shift to embrace Peter Drucker's mantra that labor is a resource, not a cost, and that these "problem workers" are in fact the only available solution.

Sounds like your pride is inadvertently being trampled on. Suggestion -- either learn to let it go, or take your market value and work elsewhere (and if you can't, then your market value isn't what you think, and be grateful you have the job you do).

[Incidentally, I folded the business because I hated going to work in the morning (in my own business!) and dealing with egos all day long. I was offered a position teaching professional writing -- and grabbed it.]

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 5/17/2014 9:41:40 AM >

(in reply to YourBigDaddy1967)

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RE: I recognize two things - 5/17/2014 5:48:47 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourBigDaddy1967

I recognize

1)that we are are still in economically tough times and that this may go on for a while yet, so I need to keep a civil tongue in my head at work, Even when I'd like to tell the boss that they are a complete tool.

2) My ex wife had a Master's degree in Social work with a minor in psychology She worked as a professional counselor until she went NUTS. I read her books, attended lectures with her.

I've read the DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) from cover to cover. I've read books on short term and brief therapy, assisted her with lectures and classes for NAMI (National Association for the Mentally Ill) So, While I don't have the paper (Diploma) I would say I have a damn good grasp of mental illness and therapy.

So... can someone PLEASE for the love of God explain to me why my manager's management style is a direct rip off of most of the clinical books on brief and short term therapy. She even goes so far as to replace some of the Buzz Words that you would find in counseling with similar words that can be used interchangeably.

she uses bull crap like "How do you define success" "What does (X) look like to you" "Define that for me" " How do we get you over this hurdle and get you to success" and every last one of use is required to have a one on one meeting with our managers once a month. What in hell is this a job or a shrinks office?

I want to look her in the eye and tell her lady, I've been analyzed by professionals that would make you look like little Mary sunshine. While I was with my ex wife she wanted me to go to counseling with her, in an effort to save my marriage. SO I have been through my ex wife, my ex wife's mother also a social worker, five different shrinks, and at least a dozen social workers and counselors all in an effort to try to keep my marriage together and then afterwards to get the crap she did to me out of my head.

All of that to say I don't really care to go to work to be analyzed or to have you try to use my words against me or some other bullshit. Why can't I just go to work and be left to do my damn job!