Marc's Musings (Full Version)

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Marc2b -> Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 6:44:19 AM)

It has occurred to me while walking this morning that you can learn pretty much all you need to know about a person by observing their reaction to a nature video where a cheetah brings down a gazelle or a crocodile grabs hold of a wildebeest to drag it under. Who do they identify with? The predator or the prey?

I have started walking for exercise recently and have noticed that there is a lot of loose change laying around the world. I started collecting all the money I find in a cup on my dresser (right next to the regular change jar), just to see how much I accumulate. So far I am up to $5.12. That is not as impressive as it sounds because I found a five dollar bill in the parking lot this morning.

What are the ethical obligations of finding a five dollar bill in the parking lot? If it was a wallet with a name and address I'd return it no problem. If it were a larger sum (say, like $50.00) I'd make some discrete inquiries with the neighbors . . . but five bucks? I can keep that with a clear conscious, right?

Another thing I've noticed while walking . . . the average driver is a dick toward pedestrians. Usually it is just neglect, a failure to pay attention. They're jamming to the music or yakking on the phone or in a hurry and got to make this turn before the light changes or whatever. Sometimes it is out right hostility because your crossing in front of them is delaying them seven whole seconds, ya know. As pedestrian I now make it a practice to always acknowledge that (not quite) rare (but still not common) aware and courteous driver with a smile and a wave. I am now much more pedestrian friendly while driving than I used to be. I enjoy being one of those drivers who gets a smile and a wave from pedestrians. I really enjoy their looks of surprise when they realize that I really am respecting their right of way.

The average bicyclist is also a dick toward pedestrians. This is because, according to my observations, the average bicyclist is a full time dick. I'm not talking about kids (most kids are actually pretty cool). I'm talking about the adult spandex, helmet and mirror sunglasses wearing, douche bag who thinks he's king shit. And I do mean he; the average female bicyclist is also pretty cool. Now that I think it over a bit, I guess the average bicyclist isn't a dick . . . just the adult male, spandex, helmet and mirror sunglasses wearing douche bag bicyclist.

Bicyclists in large groups, however, can be like any large group of like minded individuals and start acting like dicks toward any perceived outsider.

Don't even get me started on the mother fucking joggers.

My sister is a jogger but I still love her.

There is an interesting psychology to lone walkers approaching each other from a distance. I am a forty-eight year old, heterosexual male 5' 10'' tall. Upon spotting the silhouette of an approaching walker (especially if it is dusk or dawn) primitive brain goes on alert. Male or female? In other words: potentially dangerous or not potentially dangerous (yeah primitive brain is unabashedly sexist)? At this point the civilized brain (much less sexist) has to remind primitive brain that females can be just as dangerous. This just makes primitive brain more nervous which then puts the question starkly asks: fight or flight? Civilized brain says wait and see . . . it is kind of enjoying the adrenaline rush. A few more steps. Still a silhouette but sharper. The body shape and the walk say male. Dammit. Primitive brain again asks, fight or flight? Pride jumps in and demand that we continue forward. Fight it will be then . . . if necessary. Civilized brain reminds everyone that the approaching walker is probably thinking the same thoughts but then (still graving to the adrenaline) concentrates on staring ahead (to look away would imply weakness) without making direct eye contact (which would imply hostility). It looks like this is going to go peaceably. To pull it off, respectful eye contact will be needed in 3. . . 2. . . 1. . . now. Followed immediately with the MASCULINE NOD. Break eye contact, keep going. Bother primitive brain and civilized brain are hyper alert for a dastardly sneak attack now that the back is exposed. A few more steps. It is going to be okay. Primitive brain is relieved. Civilized brain is also relieved but pleased that most people really are okay. Pride is quite certain that guy kept walking because he knew that I could have totally kicked his ass.

The masculine nod is really quite extraordinary. It packs a huge amount of communication into a barely perceptible head movement. The translation of the masculine nod is: I am relatively certain that I could kick your ass and I know that you are equally certain that you could kick my ass but I'm peaceable and if you're peaceable then we'll just agree to disagree about who could kick who's ass and just keep walking.

When the approaching walker is female a whole different psychology ensues but I’ll have to talk about that later. I’ve got to get ready to walk to the art center where I volunteer and help with an opening. Later this afternoon I am scheduled for a nap on my couch.

Peace and prosperity to everyone.

Marc2b












DesFIP -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 9:23:53 AM)

As a driver in a college town where pedestrians get the right of way, I'd like to commend you on smiling or waving at the driver who stopped for you. There's nothing worse than doing the right thing and being totally ignored for it.

This assumes they're crossing at the cross walks. If jaywalking, my reaction is to want to leap out of the car demand they pull out their phone and call their mother so I can tell her that she's wasting her money on college tuition since the damn kid is too stupid to look before he crosses the street.




Kaliko -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 9:41:09 AM)

quote:

The masculine nod is really quite extraordinary. It packs a huge amount of communication into a barely perceptible head movement. The translation of the masculine nod is: I am relatively certain that I could kick your ass and I know that you are equally certain that you could kick my ass but I'm peaceable and if you're peaceable then we'll just agree to disagree about who could kick who's ass and just keep walking.


Interesting. When I walk by someone and I have to acknowledge them, and especially if I have to say "Excuse me," I notice that I always say it with a little head bow, a small smile and my eyes glance down a bit, and I walk on with a slight, temporary concern that I was rude to them, that maybe I didn't say "Excuse me" loudly enough and they thought I just pushed my way past them.

Obviously, I am giving off a very different vibe with my "nod." ...just my own musing. :)





Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 2:54:45 PM)

quote:

As a driver in a college town where pedestrians get the right of way, I'd like to commend you on smiling or waving at the driver who stopped for you. There's nothing worse than doing the right thing and being totally ignored for it.

This assumes they're crossing at the cross walks. If jaywalking, my reaction is to want to leap out of the car demand they pull out their phone and call their mother so I can tell her that she's wasting her money on college tuition since the damn kid is too stupid to look before he crosses the street.


I'll grant that some pedestrians can be as obtuse as some drivers. I myself practice what I call "Cautious Assertiveness." I make damn sure people see me but when it is my turn to cross . . . It's my turn!




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 4:03:24 PM)

quote:

Interesting. When I walk by someone and I have to acknowledge them, and especially if I have to say "Excuse me," I notice that I always say it with a little head bow, a small smile and my eyes glance down a bit, and I walk on with a slight, temporary concern that I was rude to them, that maybe I didn't say "Excuse me" loudly enough and they thought I just pushed my way past them.

Obviously, I am giving off a very different vibe with my "nod." ...just my own musing. :)


Humans are tribal and the reality is that we are not evolutionary equipped to live in tribes of larger than 120 or so (I think it was Desmond Morris who informed me of that). We are not equipped to deal with large number of strangers. As a result we have developed numerous behavioral strategies that could be called "Stranger Relations." Much of it involves avoiding eye contact. Submissiveness, in the form of polite rhetoric, lack of eye contact, head bow, smile, etc., is common. Indeed, who should yield (submit) in most social situations involving large groups of strangers (the grocery store, the subway) are some of our most strongly held mores. Myself? Well, in the grocery store I know I am supposed to yield right of way to the elderly (out of respect for their years), women (because that's what gentlemen do), young children (because they just don't know any better). I pretty much do all of this without thinking about it.

As for the Masculine Nod, it is the result of a specific situation: two adult (non-elderly) males, who are strangers to each other, no one else around (or at least nearby) as they approach each other. I just find it a fascinating interplay of instincts and reason and pride.

Now, when the lone figure approaching me is female, an entirely different psychology ensues . . . one, I confess, I am not entirely privy to. Upon realizing that the approaching figure is female Primitive Brain immediately "thinks": FEMALE! FEMALE! FEEEEMAAAAAALLLLLLE!!!! IS SHE HOT? I HOPE SHE'S HOT! Civilized Brain immediately acts to calm Primitive Brain down by reminding him that she might be old or ugly and regardless of her appearance it is still possible (if not probable) that she could be a gun toting psycho prowling the streets for victims. Besides, Civilized Brain knows that the encounter is probably more potentially
frighting for her than for me. Civilized Brain genuinely does not want to cause fear to anyone (not counting fun, consensual, BDSM "fear" [:)] ).

Sometimes the situation "resolves" itself when the approaching woman turns in a different direction or crosses the street. Perhaps she really did intend that course change at that time. Perhaps not. I am not insulted. I understands It does irk me a little, but I understands. I've actually come up with a method that, I hope, puts them at ease. I take my water bottle out and take a swig. It is my way of signaling that I'm out her for the same reason you likely are . . . exercise. So don't worry, I'm not dangerous. How much does it actually work? I don't know but they don't always change course.

If she does not change her course then Civilized Brain sternly reminds Primitive Brain that it may enjoy what visuals it can but it must not look stupid and it must co-operate with a friendly smile and "Good Morning." I still tend to see residual fear and relief in their eyes as they pass (I do admire their courage in having "stuck it out"). Perhaps next time it will be less so. As the woman passes Primitive Brain wants to turn around check out the backside. Civilized Brain, worried that this will be interpreted as creepy ogling, forbids it. Primitive Brain grudgingly obeys. Usually. God Damn it, some women are just fucking hot, ya know?

There is one very specific exception to the above. The young (mid twenties), very fit, dark haired beautiful woman who goes power walking in the morning with her very large, very mean looking doberman pinscher who keeps perfect pace with her. When they approach I step aside for her majesty and the bitch. [;)]




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 6:01:31 PM)

Cosmos is on.

I really like Cosmos.




hlen5 -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/18/2014 7:52:46 PM)

Marc's musings are most amusing!




ShaharThorne -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/19/2014 6:05:53 AM)

We watch Cosmos too. Its appeals to the scientist in me. I would love to meet Tyson one day and discuss things with him that can blow some people's (mainly the Conservative Christian) minds. Last night's episode was great.




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/20/2014 4:10:25 AM)

I was just watching the today show and during a (somewhat worrisome) story about a ground beef recall, due to E. Coli fears, I was treated to a rather nice bouncing rack. As much as I enjoyed the view I also found surreal and absurd. I mean, people could die but in case you're not paying attention, here's a nice jiggling pair for you. I can't stop laughing.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/20/2014 4:16:50 AM)

Where is the recall located at? I don't turn the TV on this early...




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/20/2014 5:16:47 AM)

quote:

Where is the recall located at? I don't turn the TV on this early...


Four states so far. You can read about it here.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/20/2014 5:33:46 AM)

Thanks, sugar...




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/20/2014 1:43:35 PM)

Two more states, Oregon and Pennsylvania have had gay marriage bans over turned. It warms my heart to see tolerance and decency slowly (but surely) gaining ground. In the case of Pennsylvania, the ban was over turned by Judge John E. Jones III the same judge who made the right ruling in the Kitzmiller vs. Dover case.




smileforme50 -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/20/2014 7:28:46 PM)

quote:

Another thing I've noticed while walking . . . the average driver is a dick toward pedestrians. Usually it is just neglect, a failure to pay attention. They're jamming to the music or yakking on the phone or in a hurry and got to make this turn before the light changes or whatever. Sometimes it is out right hostility because your crossing in front of them is delaying them seven whole seconds, ya know. As pedestrian I now make it a practice to always acknowledge that (not quite) rare (but still not common) aware and courteous driver with a smile and a wave. I am now much more pedestrian friendly while driving than I used to be. I enjoy being one of those drivers who gets a smile and a wave from pedestrians. I really enjoy their looks of surprise when they realize that I really am respecting their right of way.


OH yeah....this is SO true. AFter not having my driver's license for 18 years, I'm amazed that I'm still alive. I am totally paranoid about crossing the street only at places where there is a light and crosswalk....and that STILL doesn't always work. I can't even count the number of times I have been walking in downtown Wilmington and went to cross the street (after waiting for the light to change) only to have someone make a left turn right into me....I've been "bumped" quite a few times. The only reason I wasn't seriously injured is probably because they didn't have enough time to get up enough speed. What tops it off is that they look at me like I'm the one who is wrong....and don't even bother asking if I'm ok. I keep telling myself that the next time it happens I'm going to just drop to the ground as if they seriously hit me....then see what they do. Probably just do a hit and run.....

Now that I started driving again, I am VERY aware of pedestrians and I always give them the right of way. I'm sure I piss off the drivers behind me when I stop to give the pedestrians right of way.




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/21/2014 4:09:43 PM)


quote:

I'm sure I piss off the drivers behind me when I stop to give the pedestrians right of way.


Me too. I know it really upsets some of them but my attitude is . . . [sm=boohoo.gif]




Marc2b -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/21/2014 4:12:46 PM)

I has the sads.

Sorry, just a little LOL Cats lingo there.

Recently on Facebook I found a childhood friend (whom I shall refer to as Mister F) I have not seen or spoken with in over thirty years. You know the friends in the movie “Stand by Me?” We were that kind of friends. Anyway, as the years went by I gradually grew from a not-really-thinking-about-such-things-default-conservative to the fairly liberal guy I am now (I still retain a streak of an anti-authoritarian libertarian in me).

Mister F, it seems, has gone in a very different direction over the years. It was not long after I started reading his posts that it became obvious that Mister F is very concerned about THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH AMERICA.

What are the THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH AMERICA? Well, they are (in order, as far as I can determine):

Jews
Black People
Homosexuals (particularly “hairy legged lesbians”)
Feminists (particularly “hairy legged feminists”)
Muslims
Atheists (and their God hating “evil-utionist” agenda)
Scientists (also evil-utionists, plus they promote a hoax called global warming)

All of these people and more fall under a category of people called “LIE!BRALS.”

Sad sigh. This is not a person I can relate to. This is not a person I really want to relate to. I’m going to de-friend him but I need to work up my courage a little first. Despite my shock and anger I’m also feeling a little sad about it – a sense of loss. It feels like a death in the family if ya know what I mean. I guess I just need to mourn a little first.

If the loss of an old friend is the price of self respect, then so be it . . . but it still sucks.




DesFIP -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/21/2014 4:47:55 PM)

It might help if you could feel sorry for him. That his life has come down to being afraid of anyone who isn't exactly like him. That he feels bewildered and lost and needs to blame someone, anyone.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/22/2014 1:41:41 AM)

I am offended as a hairy legged feminist liberal...[;)]




DesFIP -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/22/2014 4:01:03 AM)

I already shaved my legs this week. And as a Jewish liberal, I'm offended by him also. But I like Marc and wanted to offer him a different perspective.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Marc's Musings (5/22/2014 4:13:07 AM)

Nairing tonight...got back surgery in the morning and my legs are going to be bare...at least I will have my socks on.




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