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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 10:33:10 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding?

Im a bit shocked by this question.

You have not told her to plan the wedding and let you know the date so you can spend your time fishing, receiving blow jobs, earning money on the stock market, and watching football games?

Sorry, there is an cognitive disconnect between being a Dominant and deciding what horrible color to drape the bridesmaids in so they can get wildly drunk and have sex with guys they just met.

I dont recall if Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns dealt with this issue, but since it is just me, and I could be wrong, I suppose you are on your own.

Sinergy

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Post #: 21

RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 10:41:42 PM

DaddyDommy

Posts: 4
Joined: 5/15/2006
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I was involved in every step of my wedding. I just could not bear the thought of not having control over something that important in my life.

In fact, I refused to just stand up at the altar while the bride walked up. We walked to the stage from opposite sides of the room but together and met in the middle. I was also involved in flower choices (since I'm a landscaper, it's natural for me to be involved in the plant aspect of things) and most of the other arrangements.

I guess I just consider it a copout to basically ignore something so important in your life and leave it to other people. Invariably, grooms who do this end up getting pissed about something being done they don't approve of, but if you gave up all your power to change things, how can you possibly get it back when it's too late?

Even if you give the bride power to make the arrangements, I believe you should still require they are run through you before final decisions are made.

< Message edited by DaddyDommy -- 7/10/2006 10:42:33 PM >

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/10/2006 11:07:56 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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As someone that was married and had a child I can tell you from my perspective I could care less who plans the wedding because it is the marriage that matters, not the pretties on the wedding day.I admire your involvement on your big day, but the biggest day you will ever have you will not be dressed up, your wife will be a sweaty mess, and it won't matter because you will be passing out cigars and getting patted on the back.. the biggest day is the first time you hold your first born child and all the other children you may ever have. It makes the wedding day look shallow in comparison, and the only people that will show up are those who love the both of you dearly. You will not get to plan it, you will have to accept whatever comes your way, and your wife will be the one in charge of making it happen... All that will matter is the 10 fingers and 10 toes that you count and pray that everything is as it should be, because that is what really matters in this world, not the flowers that showed up at the church, not what color the bridesmaids wore, not what song they played on your first dance...

Just my thoughts, could be wrong about my opinion...

OP.. Best wishes on the wedding and the marriage!

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/11/2006 6:32:59 AM

TahoeSadist

Posts: 176
Joined: 8/3/2004
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Let's see.....my experience in my mis-spent youth working at a hotel that was the most popular (read fashionable) in our area for weddings gave me a certain viewpoint towards weddings.

First is, if a wedding seems imminent: RUN (or if you have a friend who's willing to give you an airline ticket take it!)

If however you still wish to do it, my observations are that weddings are first and foremost about the Mother of the bride. My old boss had a rule, his main focus was to make certain the Dragon Lady was happy. It seems to me that strife occurs when the bride (or worse yet the groom) fails to grasp this concept. The groom's job is to stand where told, smile for the camera, and try not to let his tux get messed up. The bride's Dad's job is to have checkbook handy, and try to look happy about spending the cost of a new car on the wedding while remembering that there are still 2 girls left to marry off.

I'm all in favor of elopement LOL. Cut a deal with the parents for the money they'd be spending on a wedding and put it to much better use.

Eric

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/11/2006 9:45:37 AM

Sab

Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
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Leave it to the sub and basically say - "That is too expensive try something else, affordable" and leave it at that :)

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/12/2006 9:54:52 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

My dream wedding would be a Star Wars Theme. My bride to be would have her hair like Lea and I would be a Tux similar to Darth Vader. The ceromony would be performed by someone who spoke the same noun/verb switch as Master Yoda. My groomsmen would be dressed up as jedi while the ring barer would be a padawon. Our DJ would be dressed as Jaba.

NO NO NO HELL NOOOOOOO!

Your sub is a capable, smart and competent. I'm also quite sure I, I mean she, would not do anything you're set against.

Take the majority's advice. Be glad you have a non-interfering mother-in-law and bride to be who is perfectly happy sorting out all the little details and coming to you for final decisions and say-so.

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/12/2006 11:08:00 PM

ravn

Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

My dream wedding would be a Star Wars Theme. My bride to be would have her hair like Lea and I would be a Tux similar to Darth Vader. The ceromony would be performed by someone who spoke the same noun/verb switch as Master Yoda. My groomsmen would be dressed up as jedi while the ring barer would be a padawon. Our DJ would be dressed as Jaba.

I was reserving judgement and trying to read the rest of the posts before i made up my mind- but there, with that one little paragraph- you clinched it. Sit back and let her take over- just make sure it stays in budget (and make sure you don't end up with a dog for a groomsman - true story- don't ask) and let her and her mother take over. Make sure you police her mother though, so your bride to be doesn't go insane. and need to figure out which shade of straight-jacket she needs to wear to her own wedding. =)

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/12/2006 11:30:15 PM

RexLongBeach

Posts: 58
Joined: 10/30/2004
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When I did the dirty deed, I let my submissive plan a lot of it, but before getting into the details of it she and I agreed on some key things. She wanted a "real" ceremony (none of this "I do" at the County Courthouse), she wanted to wear a beautiful white dress, and she wanted a real honeymoon (i.e., a week or so in Jamaica vs. a long weekend of beach camping). For me, I wanted our guests to be well taken care of, I wanted to host the bar, and I wanted good food and plenty of it.

With that guidance, she did all the initial research, found a way to get a deal on yards and yards of Chinese silk for her dress, etc. I helped with the math/spreadsheeting for budgeting. We found we could have all we want if we kept the guest list reasonable, and shopped venues. Pricing varies considerably, and you can also take advantage of off times/off season, etc.

Once the venue was selected, she worked with the banquet staff, etc.

You'll note that I'm giving a pretty good description of what she did re: the reception, but not saying too much about the wedding itself. It's safe to say she figured out all that stuff on her own, I have no idea what all she did. Worked, tho. Marriage came off pretty smoothly.

Do heed the words of juliaoceaia:

quote:

It doesn't matter what the wedding turns out like, it matters what the marriage turns out like.

Good luck.
Rex

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Post #: 28

RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/13/2006 6:51:41 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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Uh,

Your in charge, decide. Some bosses are control freaks, some delegate. The trick is in deciding what YOU want to do. If picking which table service to use and whether or not to invite your uncle Charlie gets you off, then you better get involved, if as Sinergy said, you would rather be off fishing...then you know what to do.

For me, when I was almost foolish enough to get married to a rather wonderful woman I had decided to hold the whole thing in a large beautiful restaurant. It would have been cheaper, easier, just as pretty, no driving from place to place, the food would have been vastly better and the whole thing quite grand for quite a few grand less.

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RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/15/2006 2:54:49 PM

VelvetVise

Posts: 9
Joined: 6/18/2006
From: Dallas, TX
Status: offline

Ahh yes - weddings. My first choice would be to go to a tropical island, find a remote location and have it done privately -- no attendees due to the stress factor.

But my beloved is actually the one that likes the "wedding" process (I guess his first one wasn't all it was cracked up to be), so A) I would make out an action list of those items I care about and B) hire a professional to handle it. For me, it would have to be a nocturnal wedding, gothic church, tons of candles, very exotic flowers and a black leather dress that fits like a glove from my breasts down to my knees and it can flare out towards the floor -- Mmmm...love feeling bound! As for jewelry, must be white gold or platinum and if a stone is required, it has to be that perfect blue/purple tanzanite.

Aside from that, just keep with the nocturnal gothic theme and leave me out of it!

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Post #: 30

RE: Subs and Weddings - 7/15/2006 4:42:04 PM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

Thoughts, advice, and past experience stories. I would like to hear what you think.

At what point do you let go and let your female sub take over and plan the wedding?
Do you consider it lazy or smart for the Male Dom to give in this one time to sit back and only make sure that the wedding stays within a budget while the submisive bride plans everything else?

You are the Dominant, exercise your rights as you see fit. ( and tell us how it goes)

a few pics would be nice too :)

and...congrats to you both

cheers
jimini

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