Does This Make Me A Homophobe?

Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid

Message

CobaltRose -> Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/21/2014 10:52:55 PM)
I saw a scene of two men kissing and i looked away. I just dont like seeing men kiss. However, i would never tell them to stop kissing nor do i think gays cant marry (being a transgender i am fully supportive of the LGBT, because im in the "T" part and, well, its basic human rights). But some people think im a homophobe for simply looking away.

CrazyHarleyQuinn -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/21/2014 11:09:12 PM)
Nah. I don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe you just don't like seeing public displays of affection? That's perfectly acceptable.

CobaltRose -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/21/2014 11:27:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyHarleyQuinn Nah. I don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe you just don't like seeing public displays of affection? That's perfectly acceptable. Heres the problem, i have no problems with men and women kissing and women and women kissing (my sexuality is really confusing, like, i dont mind being fucked or sucking of a guy and the male member does turn me on, but i am physically attracted to women)

slavekate80 -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/21/2014 11:46:34 PM)
I don't think so. If it were me I'd examine why I felt that way, to see if it was a symptom of a covert bias, but it might not be. Since you're attracted to women, preferring to see man-woman or two-woman couples could just be a reflection of that.

crazyml -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 12:17:04 AM)
Hmm.. I would have to say, that yes it could be representative of a little bit of homophobia, but not necessarily, it really depends on what motivated you to look away. While I'd suggest that you're doing the right thing to reflect on it, I wouldn't worry over much. I would point out that homophobia in and of itself isn't necessarily a sign that someone is a "bad person", and while people that are "uncomfortable" around gays (and I'm not saying that you're one of them) are a little bit homophobic, I think it only becomes really unpleasant if they seek to impose their views on the rest of us.

CobaltRose -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 12:51:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml Hmm.. I would have to say, that yes it could be representative of a little bit of homophobia, but not necessarily, it really depends on what motivated you to look away. While I'd suggest that you're doing the right thing to reflect on it, I wouldn't worry over much. I would point out that homophobia in and of itself isn't necessarily a sign that someone is a "bad person", and while people that are "uncomfortable" around gays (and I'm not saying that you're one of them) are a little bit homophobic, I think it only becomes really unpleasant if they seek to impose their views on the rest of us. I dont think im a homophobe because i am not against homosexual rights or their right to marry. I just dont like seeing men kissing. But, instead of telling them to stop kissing, i just look away,

crazyml -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 1:16:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CobaltRose quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml Hmm.. I would have to say, that yes it could be representative of a little bit of homophobia, but not necessarily, it really depends on what motivated you to look away. While I'd suggest that you're doing the right thing to reflect on it, I wouldn't worry over much. I would point out that homophobia in and of itself isn't necessarily a sign that someone is a "bad person", and while people that are "uncomfortable" around gays (and I'm not saying that you're one of them) are a little bit homophobic, I think it only becomes really unpleasant if they seek to impose their views on the rest of us. I dont think im a homophobe because i am not against homosexual rights or their right to marry. I just dont like seeing men kissing. But, instead of telling them to stop kissing, i just look away, I think it is quite possible to be a little bit homophobic while still supporting LGBT rights. A person can be intellectually in favour of LGBT rights, but emotionally horrified by homosexuality. Not liking to see men kissing is certainly an indicator of a touch of homophobia, but it's only an indicator - you may dislike seeing men kissing for other reasons.

ThePrincessKali -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 2:58:48 AM)
You mentioned you enjoy being fucked by men and/or sucking them off but you're grossed out by watching two men kiss. Are you sure this isn't a self hating issue?

MissKittyDeVine -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 3:25:03 AM)
Perhaps you prefer participation and have no voyeuristic tendencies.

CobaltRose -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 4:12:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali You mentioned you enjoy being fucked by men and/or sucking them off but you're grossed out by watching two men kiss. Are you sure this isn't a self hating issue? I never said i was grossed out. I just dont like watching men kiss.

Marc2b -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 4:27:31 AM)
quote: I saw a scene of two men kissing and i looked away. I just dont like seeing men kiss. However, i would never tell them to stop kissing nor do i think gays cant marry (being a transgender i am fully supportive of the LGBT, because im in the "T" part and, well, its basic human rights). But some people think im a homophobe for simply looking away. It is called the Ick Factor (AKA the Eew factor and the Yuck Factor). It is a the result of a conflict between the Primitive Brain and the Civilized Brain that all people have (although I will grant that in some cases the word Civilized will have to be put in quotes). I too am in full support of equal rights for the LBGT community. That includes the right of homosexual couples to show their affections in public in that same manner that heterosexual couples do. That is the official position of of my Civilized Brain. It has come to this position from a lifetime of experience and thinking. Do not make the mistake of presuming that Civilized Brain is strictly intellectual and has no emotion concerning these issues. Civilized Brain is genuinely outraged by bigotry and bullying. Civilized Brain is genuinely pleased to see people enjoying their life by enjoying their rights. It is Primitive Brain that goes "Eew." Primitive Brain really is a simple fellow. He has his likes and his dislikes and he doesn't give much thought as to why and is completely unashamed. Primitive Brain loves female bodies (particularly if their young and healthy). Primitive Brain loves tits and pussy. Primitive Brain does not like cocks and balls (it's own excepted, of course - it actually thinks very highly of its own cock and balls). Seeing two men kissing leads to an automatic train of thought (Primitive Brain has never been very good at controlling his thoughts) which goes like this: two men kissing . . . they have sex . . . cocks and balls . . . eew. It should be easy, by the way, to see why Primitive Brain loves the sight of two women kissing. Although I do allow Primitive Brain out to play [sm=crop.gif] from time to time, Civilized Brain rules! I just do what I would do if it were a heterosexual couple. If I am walking I just keep on walking. If I'm sitting I look away because if it is rude to stare at a heterosexual couple kissing, then it is rude to stare at a homosexual couple kissing. Primitive Brain's opinions, while that can't help but be noted, don't factor into the situation. That, ultimately, is what being civilized (as an individual or as a society) is all about. That despite whatever our own feelings about other people may be, if their actions "neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg" (Jefferson) then we have no cause for complaint.

PeonForHer -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 5:15:57 AM)
quote: It is a the result of a conflict between the Primitive Brain and the Civilized Brain that all people have (although I will grant that in some cases the word Civilized will have to be put in quotes). Yep. Primitive brain says the loudest ick of all at the sight (or even just the thought) of one's own parents bonking. However, fortunately for the human race, we've managed to get past it.

FightingChains -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 5:16:28 AM)
I'm a gay man and I don't kiss in front of others. I try to avoid making people uncomfortable, and I understand and respect that. I very, very rarely hold hands in public. Even his parents have only seen us kiss once, and that was more to prove "I do actually love your son, and we're not just mates." Marc is right that it's a "primitive brain" thing, and I don't judge people for going "ewww". I have the same thing in reverse, but it's a little different. The idea of me kissing a woman disgusts me. It's a natural instinctive reaction. But I'm socially conditioned from birth to accept that it's normal for other men and women to kiss. I don't particularly like seeing it, but it doesn't offend me badly when I see it. I get annoyed at times when I see people kissing in public, some of them acting like their mouth is a hoover trying to suck the other person's soul out. Hey, if I did this with my partner you'd be disgusted, so stop exposing me to it. The only time I readily kissed in public, I was at an airport returning from a deployment, and I hadn't seen him in 6 months. My thought was Fuck Off, I don't care, he's my guy and I haven't been able to touch him in months. I defended your country, and you can go to hell if you've got a problem with it for all I care. Other than that, I try to respect people's boundaries, and people only see us as good friends, which is what we are, anyway.

OriginalRebel -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 5:19:37 AM)
What a great post Marc... thanks!

Aibo -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 5:51:53 AM)
Good post there FightingChains. All stuff is not for everyone, there's some BDSM practices that gives me the creep also even though they are considered rather mainstream. (Lets mention inserting needles in various parts and underage play and references.) I do not demand the world around me should accept my kinky ways, so I do not think holding back a bit should be an issue for the GBT group either.

Darkfeather -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 10:20:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FightingChains I'm a gay man and I don't kiss in front of others. I try to avoid making people uncomfortable, and I understand and respect that. I very, very rarely hold hands in public. Even his parents have only seen us kiss once, and that was more to prove "I do actually love your son, and we're not just mates." Marc is right that it's a "primitive brain" thing, and I don't judge people for going "ewww". I have the same thing in reverse, but it's a little different. The idea of me kissing a woman disgusts me. It's a natural instinctive reaction. But I'm socially conditioned from birth to accept that it's normal for other men and women to kiss. I don't particularly like seeing it, but it doesn't offend me badly when I see it. I get annoyed at times when I see people kissing in public, some of them acting like their mouth is a hoover trying to suck the other person's soul out. Hey, if I did this with my partner you'd be disgusted, so stop exposing me to it. The only time I readily kissed in public, I was at an airport returning from a deployment, and I hadn't seen him in 6 months. My thought was Fuck Off, I don't care, he's my guy and I haven't been able to touch him in months. I defended your country, and you can go to hell if you've got a problem with it for all I care. Other than that, I try to respect people's boundaries, and people only see us as good friends, which is what we are, anyway. There is a big difference between respecting other people's boundaries and letting the masses dictate how you yourself act. This is a free country, and as such we are allowed to express ourselves in public, within the limits of decorum, anyway we choose. We can shout out loud the president sucks hairy balls, we can walk around in skimpy bikinis (men or women... sigh ), we can even give speeches about the merits of mein kampf. And yes, you can even give someone you love a kiss. This is a country where the rest of the people have to accommodate what you are doing, not the other way around, that is what freedom is. So go ahead, display your affection. You said it yourself, what the hell did you fight for if not to defend your freedom to express yourself

dcnovice -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 11:04:24 AM)
FR Interesting read: http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/05/12/michael_sam_gay_kiss_proves_we_need_more_gay_kissing.html

mnottertail -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 11:10:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: It is a the result of a conflict between the Primitive Brain and the Civilized Brain that all people have (although I will grant that in some cases the word Civilized will have to be put in quotes). Yep. Primitive brain says the loudest ick of all at the sight (or even just the thought) of one's own parents bonking. However, fortunately for the human race, we've managed to get past it. But not without let or hindrance.

FightingChains -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 12:09:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darkfeather There is a big difference between respecting other people's boundaries and letting the masses dictate how you yourself act. This is a free country, and as such we are allowed to express ourselves in public, within the limits of decorum, anyway we choose. We can shout out loud the president sucks hairy balls, we can walk around in skimpy bikinis (men or women... sigh ), we can even give speeches about the merits of mein kampf. And yes, you can even give someone you love a kiss. This is a country where the rest of the people have to accommodate what you are doing, not the other way around, that is what freedom is. So go ahead, display your affection. You said it yourself, what the hell did you fight for if not to defend your freedom to express yourself Firstly, thanks. Second, I don't live in the US nor did I fight for it, but I appreciate the sentiment. Third, there's a difference between the right to do something and it being a good idea. While I value the right to do it, I also fought for decency, consideration, and kindness. I value the fact that many in my nation are compassionate for others. I care for others and would prefer not to make them uncomfortable. It's no big deal for me to avoid kissing him outside as I don't generally want to anyway. Perhaps others are dictating my actions, or perhaps I try to be considerate. I prefer to think of it as the latter.

dcnovice -> RE: Does This Make Me A Homophobe? (5/22/2014 12:22:33 PM)
quote: I also fought for decency, consideration, and kindness. Is a same-sex kiss a violation of these?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078125