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FieryOpal -> RE: Strangest Pet Peeve (5/28/2014 10:30:00 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: smileforme50
Yeah.....I've had friends tell me (half jokingly) that I might really be a Domme.....but my impression has always been exactly what you say. *sigh*
You must have a take-charge personality. It's a good start. I didn't spell out getting with a Switch since there are fewer straight Switches available for a relationship. It must be the luck of the draw with me, but with the exception of 1-2 (who aren't available and/or age-appropriate), the rest have been bratty. If I wanted to be with an obnoxious horndog, I could find that anywhere in vanilla-land.
Also, this isn't to say that there aren't needy-arse demanding and pushy Dominants. Needy vanilla dudes, for sure. With subs, it's their getting swept up in subfever for starters. DO ME, DO ME, DO ME, kind of drowns out ordinary conversation. Newbies are starving for acceptance and affirmation wherever they can find it. Male subs who have had a Mistress or Dommes before, tend to be indoctrinated and conditioned, and unable to improvise or adapt well to change; the more slavish ones can barely think for themselves.
Other's mileage may vary according to their background experience. Nearly 20 years was marital, more like switchy-vanilla-kinky in the bedroom, except for the last 6 years when it evolved into a full-on D/s dynamic. (I'm not counting more than 3 years spent living with my ex-fiancé who turned out to be a fetishist.) Then just 2 years with 2 subs I had hoped would become LTRs but didn't pan out that way.
So when somebody comes along and says "I have 10 years [BDSM] lifestyle experience" with multiple play partners, and not in one continuous intimate relationship, I have to suppress a guffaw. Kind of reminds you of the dude who's been a "Master" since he was 18-20. Yep, that's how he came right out of the starting gate.
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