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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/28/2014 7:06:35 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ivone57

thank you all for the words of encouragement .... your awesome all of you...

yes i have joined the gym here in town... but i need to do this for me and not for him....

thank you again...

Any change that we make for ourselves has got to be based on what it is we want and not what anyone else wants.

As far as your statement about feeling unwanted and ugly, well, ugly is a damn strong word. I could stand to lose some weight, but other than that, I am a fairly OK looking guy. I certainly won't be a cover model on GQ, but I wouldn't want to be either. A long time ago I had to learn to be comfortable with who I was, I had to get used to the idea that my physical appearance was what I was stuck with and I had better learn to like it. More importantly, I had to address the things within me that were making me feel that damn insecure and preventing my happiness. Losing weight would be a great thing for me to do, and I have been researching the best way for me to do that, I am sure that I will feel better physically, but I am still happy with who I am. My suggestion is that you lose the weight and learn to love yourself and learn to be kind to yourself. Also, I would take a good hard look at who you are with because frankly, if they are being shitty to you because you gained a few pounds, then they obviously have their priorities all wrong. Looks fade eventually, and what you are left with in a partner is who they really are and if there are problems now, they will only get worse over time. Talk to them, express your feelings and whatever you do, do not fight over this, discuss it calmly and rationally. They might not realize they are being a jerk.

I wish you the best.

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/29/2014 4:33:01 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
Looks fade eventually, and what you are left with in a partner is who they really are and if there are problems now, they will only get worse over time. Talk to them, express your feelings and whatever you do, do not fight over this, discuss it calmly and rationally. They might not realize they are being a jerk.

Well said...a fact which sadly never worked with my parents...no matter how often I told them that their bullying isn't achieving what they want...they remained too stupid to "get it"....but I wish more luck with that to the OP.

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/29/2014 5:40:17 AM

mpm77

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/9/2014
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get a positive attitude. strut yourself and be proud and happy about who you are.

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/29/2014 9:06:55 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

I'd lose the weight.

Then I'd ask myself whether I want to be with someone who doesn't support me.

Honestly I would flip the two. And between them, figure out whether you're losing the weight for him or for you.

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/30/2014 6:19:29 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
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Here's a song and video for you. Little cheesy but it's inside of you. Don't let someone else define your self worth.http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/30/2014 2:09:46 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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What's really sad is that a year ago she made a post on the same topic, about how they go to play parties and he's all over the other women while telling her how much more desirable they are, and never playing with her and in all that time nothing's changed.

Hell, he made a thread and had to have seen this one, but he didn't bother to say he still loves her. She's not making changes to have a happier future, and she should, because as long as she stays with him, nothing will change.

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/30/2014 2:46:28 PM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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Yes, on reflection... you and spirited are bang on.

To the OP... you're getting a ton of support from people that don't know you. .. If strangers on the Web are willing to take the time to back you and your partner isn't... reverse the order.

I bet you're awesomer than the dude.

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 5/30/2014 2:47:30 PM

crazyml

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<tips hat>

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RE: feeling unwanted and ugly - 6/1/2014 12:55:16 PM

ivone57

Posts: 279
Joined: 1/23/2005
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this forum has done lots for my self esteem I wish I could hug each and everyone of you.... thank you for your kind words... and yes I can loose weight, I need to loose weight for myself....

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