RE: What comes first - the person or the slave?

RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (Full Version)

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sleazybutterfly -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 3:06:54 PM)
For me it just depends on the circumstance. If I am with a Master, the sub/slave part of me is there first. By that I mean, that I put my Sirs needs and desires above my own and try to please him. I mean really, it's not much fun to be woke out a deep sleep at 2 am to give a bl*w....but if I know he would be pleased by my action, I will do it. As long as the Dom I am with understands that I am more than property (car, house) but a real person with feelings, wants, and desires..and treats me as such... I will let him worry about the woman part of me..and I can just concentrate on being his. Respectfully, Andrea

babysburnin -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 3:44:15 PM)
I actually love being awoken to play... there's something to be said about that "sleepy" state...when no worries are on one's mind. [:)] I want to go to sleep... hehe.

Lordandmaster -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 3:58:08 PM)
That's how I've always imagined it, but some people have a way of telling themselves they're one thing first and another thing second. quote: ORIGINAL: litleone8620 The person i am is a slave, the two aren't different to me.

ownedgirlie -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 8:09:10 PM)
Thanks for your replies. I am enjoying the posts so far. I suppose I should clarify, that I personally do not see the two as separate beings, in that I said I am a slave who is in human form. Some have said "I am a person who is a slave." Same thing? My thoughts about myself are that he always comes first. I have seen some people say the opposite (not necessarily in this forum) and quite honestly thought there would be a bigger "mix" of responses and I would see some of that here. I completely understand the concept of the two being intertwined, and only chose to separate them for the purpose of this conversation. Certainly not to begin the standard and tired debates of old, but could it be, for example, that those with stated limits are in some way putting themselves first? (Please please please, I do not intend to start up whether there should or should not be limits, as that is not what this thread is about). I'm just chewing on concepts here and processing my own opinions on that. I'm interested in thoughts on that. Are there any other feasible situations where a submissive or slave would put herself/himself first (assuming the limit idea is considered that)? What do you think?

akisha -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 8:31:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly For me it just depends on the circumstance. If I am with a Master, the sub/slave part of me is there first. By that I mean, that I put my Sirs needs and desires above my own and try to please him. I mean really, it's not much fun to be woke out a deep sleep at 2 am to give a blw....but if I know he would be pleased by my action, I will do it. As long as the Dom I am with understands that I am more than property (car, house) but a real person with feelings, wants, and desires..and treats me as such... I will let him worry about the woman part of me..and I can just concentrate on being his. Respectfully, Andrea My thoughts exactly. It's different when you are single or if you are in a relationship/ S* Thanks for saving me the trouble of retyping butterly hehe [&:]

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 8:35:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I realized something this weekend. And I realize many will feel differently than I do. I even felt differently some time ago, and then for awhile I wasn’t sure how I felt. But this weekend sealed it for me. I used to agree with the concept of, “I am a person first, before I am a slave.” But I have realized that is no longer the case for me. I am Master’s slave first and foremost. This means, above all worldly things, he comes first. Before my comfort, he comes first. Before what I think I might want for myself, he comes first. I used to think that I felt that way, but now I know. I am his slave before anything else. My essence is devoted to him, and that essence happens to be in human form. This means he can do anything to me or require anything from me, and I trust what he does implicitly. And since his decisions and judgments are generally spot-on accurate (far better than mine), I am absolutely confident and comfortable being in his hands. So, in my case, I see myself as a slave first. My service to him comes first. I obey and serve, and he sees to my needs. How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first? This thread is not intended to be a debate, as to what is better than the other, or more believable than the other. To each their own, and I know there will be different and valid views on both sides of the topic. I thought I would open the discussion though, as I am interested in how others feel about their own submission. ..ok..I am not in a relationship but let me try to relate as best as I can..I think it is absolutley normal to start out at first in a relationship with wanting to be person first then slave simply because you wish to have your Master know you as a person first..but as the dynamic strengthens and grows and a certain amount of longevity in the relationship is developed then I can see your mindset going from the importance of being a person first to being his slave first and foremost..I feel it is a developing growing dynamic a sort of comfortable with each other and you who are together...be well...Tempting

catize -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 8:38:08 PM)
I was a person before I was a student. I was a person before I was an employee. I was a person before I was married. I was a person before I became a mother. I was a person before I was divorced. I was a person before I was a submissive. I'm still a person first because I was a person first.

SCORPIOXXX -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 8:52:52 PM)
I don't separate the two, all the more as I expect a girl to have a personality, which naturally implies being a person. Not to mention wits, brains, humor, etc. -- as opposed to a mindless blank slate. Obedience, yes; but with purpose. Service, yes; but with desire. Selflessness, yes; but with willingness. Slavish submission, yes; but from passion... BTW: kids always come first -- duh!

ownedgirlie -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 8:59:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub ..ok..I am not in a relationship but let me try to relate as best as I can..I think it is absolutley normal to start out at first in a relationship with wanting to be person first then slave simply because you wish to have your Master know you as a person first..but as the dynamic strengthens and grows and a certain amount of longevity in the relationship is developed then I can see your mindset going from the importance of being a person first to being his slave first and foremost..I feel it is a developing growing dynamic a sort of comfortable with each other and you who are together...be well...Tempting Tempting that is what happened between Master and I. As the relationship grew, it evolved from me seeing me first, to the place it is now. I did not start out this way with him. I don't think I could have. Thanks for adding this insight.

LadyNeets -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 9:11:59 PM)
sweet it's Just Me but I put the person first then the sub/slave presona but if the person/lilone is hurt then the 2 of them need to to attented too.. But that's just Me. Lady Neets

Lordandmaster -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 9:13:38 PM)
I really don't think I was a person before I was a dominant. Those two happened at the same time. quote: ORIGINAL: catize I was a person before I was a student. I was a person before I was an employee. I was a person before I was married. I was a person before I became a mother. I was a person before I was divorced. I was a person before I was a submissive. I'm still a person first because I was a person first.

catize -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 9:55:44 PM)
quote: I really don't think I was a person before I was a dominant. Those two happened at the same time. I'd be interested in an explanation of what that means if you would care to expand on it.

Lordandmaster -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 10:40:47 PM)
I believe I was born this way. It's part of who I am. I'm not a complete "person" without it. Separating being a person from being dominant just doesn't make any sense to me. Neither one comes first.

BitaTruble -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 11:03:41 PM)
quote: How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first? I read this earlier, but wanted to give it some thought before answering. End result, it doesn't really matter how I view myself .. it's how Himself views me which counts. So I asked him what he sees when he looks at me. Sometimes he looks at me and sees his wife, sometimes he sees a footstool, sometimes he sees a chef (especially when he's hungry!) and a dozen other labels ... but he always sees a slave. I am a person who happens to have a diverse label set attached but they all have the hyphen of slave after them. Wife-slave, footstool-slave, chef-slave, etc. As Himself just said .. the most important thing that he sees when he looks at me, is the woman he loves. Kinda mushy, but hey.. it works. ;) Celeste

babysburnin -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 11:20:29 PM)
OMG - you have a soft under-belly afterall! LOL! Maybe someday I will be able to appreciate the "slave" term...

juliaoceania -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/10/2006 11:42:28 PM)
I haven't attempted a live-in relationship with anyone in the lifestyle yet. I am a mother of a 16 year old. I think of him as a young man now, and I feel as though he needs to learn not to rely on mom so much anymore for his own sake and to become his own person. If my son was younger I might feel differently I suppose, but this is where I am in my life, and where I am is a good place.. I do not think it becomes a contest of who is more important.. my Dom or my son. It isn't measured that way in my mind if I have blended my life with another person. We carry each other's burdens in differing ways. I would not live with a Dominant that made me "chose" be who was first. That to me would be a mark of someone that would be too selfish for me to want to submit to. I would expect that he would not demand of me that which I could not give. I do not think a Dom that is involved with me should ask more than I am capable of giving.. and making me make a choice between him and my son in subtle or not so subtle ways would make me lose respect for him. Mind you, I have certain feelings about child rearing that you are responsible to your kids, but your kids are also responsible to you in many ways as they approach and reach adulthood. There are many things I will not tolerate if push comes to shove for my child once he became an adult. I would not be doing anyone a favor, most especially my son, if I allowed him to engage in behaviors that were destructive of the family unit that I have made. I believe in some tough love. I believe that we should help our kids as long as they help themselves.. I would not live with someone that had a problem with my views on child rearing. I would not live with a Dom that didn't accept my desire to help my son through college if possible. My son will be gone in a few years. If I find someone I want to build a life with, well he will be around a lot longer... I cannot see putting one above the other.. I haven't raised my son to think he should always come first, he is an only child so he kinda has, but I tried to raise him to know there were others in this world besides him, and one of those people is me. His wants, needs and desires are equal to my own, but they do not trump them. I think people raise kids to be selfish sometimes by giving them the idea that they come first and that is the way the world works, but that isn't so. They should never come last, but their desires shouldn't trump their mother's at every turn. That is just an opinion from someone doing single motherhood since my son was 8 months old, and a few insights I am making now he is a teenager (I didn't always have this view when he was younger, the sun revolved around him...smiles)

darkinshadows -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/11/2006 1:52:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I realized something this weekend. And I realize many will feel differently than I do. I even felt differently some time ago, and then for awhile I wasn’t sure how I felt. But this weekend sealed it for me. I used to agree with the concept of, “I am a person first, before I am a slave.” But I have realized that is no longer the case for me. I am Master’s slave first and foremost. This means, above all worldly things, he comes first. Before my comfort, he comes first. Before what I think I might want for myself, he comes first. I used to think that I felt that way, but now I know. I am his slave before anything else. My essence is devoted to him, and that essence happens to be in human form. This means he can do anything to me or require anything from me, and I trust what he does implicitly. And since his decisions and judgments are generally spot-on accurate (far better than mine), I am absolutely confident and comfortable being in his hands. So, in my case, I see myself as a slave first. My service to him comes first. I obey and serve, and he sees to my needs. How do view yourself in this regard? Do you see yourself as a person first, or a slave/submissive first? This thread is not intended to be a debate, as to what is better than the other, or more believable than the other. To each their own, and I know there will be different and valid views on both sides of the topic. I thought I would open the discussion though, as I am interested in how others feel about their own submission. The reality as I know it, is that, it doesn't matter what label I have, or what others see me as or how or what I see myself. It is how he sees me that matters. I am .dark. And He desires that is how I remain. I am submissive, I have children and am a mother. I am a friend to many, and to a few - a nemisis. I am a daughter. I am a woman. I am sadistic. I am a human being. When He desires it, I am slave, when He demands it, I am masochist. None come above the other, none mean any less - for they all make the person that I am. His. Peace and Rapture

agirl -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/11/2006 3:55:44 AM)
Hello ownedgirlie, I view myself as a person. I view my Master as a person too. I entered into a slave relationship as a person, and he accepted control of me as a person. I BECAME his slave once that was the case, but I'm still just a person, basically. Regards, agirl

catize -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/11/2006 5:13:30 AM)
Thanks for explaining and I can see where that might be for you and some others. In my life, I am/have been dominant when the need arises but prefer submission within a relationship. I don't view myself as completely one or the other.

RavenMuse -> RE: What comes first - the person or the slave? (7/11/2006 6:12:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I believe I was born this way. It's part of who I am. I'm not a complete "person" without it. Separating being a person from being dominant just doesn't make any sense to me. Neither one comes first. Yep, same here, I'm not a person first, I'm not a Dominant first, I am simply a Dominant person. When I was introduced to the concepts of D/s and collared my first girl it wasn't me becoming a Master, it was me learning how to stop pretending that I was something I'm not. Realising I didn't have to conform to the vanilla way of things for which I wasn't suited, I could simply be ME! (Of course it was the start of me learning to refine the skills a Master needs, but that is a seperate issue, one of realising what you are and striving to be the best you possible)

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