Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves.

Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (Full Version)

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twicehappy -> Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:06:01 AM)
I want to ask all the subbies and slaves to describe something for me. Jali started a similar thread and it had a few good answers but i think i am looking for (if it is possible) more definitive ones. Can any of you describe the overwhelming screaming need that is both physical and mental to feel your owner or Dom/Domme whip or hurt you in some fashion? Can you put into words how it makes you feel? I do not mean the subspace or the sexual response; i mean the deeper seated sometimes unfathomable emotive response. Do you find afterwards that is makes you softer, more pliable, does it somehow intensify your feelings of love or submission? If it does can you explain why and how? Have any of the dominants out there seen this desire in their subs/slaves and the deepening in their responsivenessor their submission or service afterwards?

LaTigresse -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:08:08 AM)
Yes I have seen it, it was how I began to accept both the need for it and the need in me to give it. Pain from both perspectives was a major hurdle for me to overcome.

Caretakr -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:18:49 AM)
Yes and can post an old Gihbrahn quote the spoke to my soul, of why that is. Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

iliv2servher -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:28:47 AM)
Experiencing pain is a catharsis. Pain is a way to break through and trancend emotional boundaries. It can provide both a physical and emotional release. How can you experience pleasure if you do not know pain?

SusanofO -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:29:35 AM)
It takes me to a deeper part of myself than I have ever known before. When I am experiencing it, I feel I need it like I need oxygen for breathing. I would do anything to experience the vulnerablility and feeling of complete freedom and feeling cared for completely that it brings, when this is happening. It becomes a craving with a life of its own, practically. I become more "still" and get almost totally inside my own head - and just feel like I am escaping into complete and whole deliverance into someone else's hands and spirit - and that feels so absolutely right and safe. I don't want it (that feeling) to end, and I lose track of time. It hurts, but I am not really thinking about that when it's happening, I am just experiencing very strong sensation and a feeling of being deeply cared for, especially if the other person is stroking my hair and calling me a "good girl". If it does hurt a bit too much, I still cannot stop, all I think about is how much I want to do this for the other person. If I am crying hard because it hurts, I really love it that the other person is enjoying it so much. The trust factor is an amazingly emotional part of my response (as I am sure it is for many). I feel like: Wow could we get any deeper than this? Probably not. Could you ever get to know someone or see someone more openly than this? Probably not. I don't think I am what is termed a "pain slut" - but am not sure, as I am not experienced enough to label myself that way. This is based on my oh so vast experience of a 1 year affair with the man who introduced me to bdsm. He knew "how much" I could handle and he watched my reactions closely. We also had many of the same fantasies (or maybe he just let me think that). By some standards, I am sure what we did was less than what would be conisdered "heavy" - but it was enough for me to remember how absolutely delicious and deeper, deeper and deeper it took me into - I don't know how to describe it better. But it was heaven. To me. - Susan

twicehappy -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:45:53 AM)
Caretakr, that was exquisitely beautiful, i thank you greatly.

Tikkiee -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 6:54:25 AM)
quote: Can any of you describe the overwhelming screaming need that is both physical and mental to feel your owner or Dom/Domme whip or hurt you in some fashion? Even though I do not identify as a submissive or slave, I am going to answer this one. For me, I just like pain. The more pain I feel, the more free I feel. I don't look to go into subspace; in fact I have very little use for that catatonic state. All I want is to feel. Pain reminds me that I am alive. It doesn't bring me closer with the person who administers it; I do not look for that. There's nothing sexual about it for me at all; once again, I do not look for that to complete it. There's just me; and the pain; and the feeling of being free and alive.

ChainedExistence -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 7:56:03 AM)
At times I can feel driven but unfocused, excitable, quick to emotional outbursts, overly chatty, I stop sleeping well, I start to feel more augumentative and take things more personally, little issues seem to take on huge importance. When Master decides to whip me, I become quiet and focused. Everything centers on the moment at hand. Whether I laugh, or cry, space or not, there comes an internal shift in how I react. Of course, it renews my bond with Master, and makes me feel very sensual and loving. There are other benefits I notice later: I accomplish things more readily, I am calmer, more even-tempered. I am more logical, more the peacekeeper, and able to look at little things as the little things they are. My parents used to joke that sometimes a kid just needed a spanking for no reason..and maybe there's something to that. It seems to purge all the negativity out of me. I feel softer, more feminine, more submissive....sigh....makes me wish for it all the more intensely.

twicehappy -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:03:34 AM)
ChainedExistence, yes, that is some of the feelings and the results yet it is also so much more. I loved your answer, which is part of the descriptions and end results i am looking for, thank you very much. It is not easy to explain to anyone what happens during and after a beating in your head space and heart. Occasionally i wonder if any of us is capable of exactly describing it to anyone though another sub/slave usually knows what you are talking about without any words.

mistoferin -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:17:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence When Master decides to whip me, I become quiet and focused. It's kind of like defragging my computer....only it's the "computer" in my head that gets defragged.

LaTigresse -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:26:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: twicehappy ChainedExistence, yes, that is some of the feelings and the results yet it is also so much more. I loved your answer, which is part of the descriptions and end results i am looking for, thank you very much. It is not easy to explain to anyone what happens during and after a beating in your head space and heart. Occasionally i wonder if any of us is capable of exactly describing it to anyone though another sub/slave usually knows what you are talking about without any words. After reading and trying to understand I had a lightbulb come on for me that allowed it to all make sense. Now alot of guys may not get this simply because of our societies restrictions on how they should and should not feel or handle their emotions but this is how I "get it". Being really upset with a partner, yelling, screaming, fighting. Finally getting to the point of trying to talk it out. Emotional exhaustion and then the tears come. After the whole process and crying till the face is puffy red and scary looking. There is a certain feeling of release and calmness. Total emotional exhaustion and hopefully a stronger connection and understanding with the person you had the fight with. I hate going there, have done it very rarely in my life. I am probably more like most guys in that I will usually avoid it because I feel too vulnerable and also hate feeling out of control. But that is the only personal experience I have that I can relate to it.

shivvy -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:27:39 AM)
Being really naff at knowing the right words to use, i often get really frustrated with myself at questions like this.. i see it and think, oh yes, i'll have a go at answering this one, and then i start wring and my mind just goes blank. So if i waffle, then please forgive me[;)] Pain has a similar effect on me as cold water or fresh air. i find it revitalising and rejuvenating. it helps me concerntrate and focus on the here and now. it clears me mind of stuff i don't need to be thinking about. it helps me feel free. Depending on the sort of pain, i also find it exciting... emotionally and sexually. i enjoy it. not as much as i enjoy chocolate ice cream, but it's a close second... it just kinda refreshes my soul, like having a nice cool shower on a hot day, and it makes me feel alive... i am also grateful that Master took the time and trouble to hurt me, if He just done it to play with me. If it's punishment, then that's something else entirely, and there is nuffin Master could do to me, to make me worse that i would prolly already feel inside. i would want Him to beat me and not stop. i would want tit to hurt more than i could bare, coz i would just feel so guilty and like i deserved it. i spose to some extent, i would wish for my own self destruction in some ways, coz i hate, HATE failing my Master. i dunno if that makes sense, but i hope so. luv, shiv. xx

ownedgirlie -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:27:59 AM)
I become focused, steady, and centered. Funny because up until recently I have claimed to be a pain-wimp, stating that I hate pain. But I don't. And I recently realized I can take much more than I thought I could. But as it is occurring, my mind clings to him and focuses on him. Just a couple of days ago, with each strike I found myself crying "I love you I love you I love you..." without even realizing it. And another time, I was repeating "Thank you" like a mantra. It was an internal cleanse, and when he finished I could only lay in a heap and grovel at his feet in gratitude. When he puts me through such experiences - whether a whipping or something that dangles me from an emotional edge - and I come out the other side, I am always intensely closer to him, and much more confident in myself. I can hardly move today, and I am bruised and welted to no end....and my heart is singing.

Caretakr -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:34:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I become focused, steady, and centered. Funny because up until recently I have claimed to be a pain-wimp, stating that I hate pain. But I don't. And I recently realized I can take much more than I thought I could. But as it is occurring, my mind clings to him and focuses on him. Just a couple of days ago, with each strike I found myself crying "I love you I love you I love you..." without even realizing it. And another time, I was repeating "Thank you" like a mantra. It was an internal cleanse, and when he finished I could only lay in a heap and grovel at his feet in gratitude. When he puts me through such experiences - whether a whipping or something that dangles me from an emotional edge - and I come out the other side, I am always intensely closer to him, and much more confident in myself. I can hardly move today, and I am bruised and welted to no end....and my heart is singing. And that certainly helps to asuage any small lingering guilt that A Top may feel, in giving what is needed. How freeing that feeling is.[;)]

sleazybutterfly -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 8:50:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I become focused, steady, and centered. Funny because up until recently I have claimed to be a pain-wimp, stating that I hate pain. But I don't. And I recently realized I can take much more than I thought I could. I am the same way. I thought I couldn't take anything. Sometimes, I just have this horrid (or wonderful) need for some sort of a release. I am not sure what causes it. I think maybe it's pent up emotions, maybe some anger, frustration, sadness. I want to both feel everything and feel nothing at all. That is something that can only come with a huge amount of intense pain. During the beating, I find that I can just focus on the act..nothing else...no deep thoughts..just myself and the leather as it slams across my skin. Then the sting, pain, burn of it as the body rejects, then accepts and takes in the pain..then it comes back and braces (welcomes) more time and time again. I know when I need it, I know when it's time and I am craving it. I would get the belt myself, or take a hand and put it against my face kissing the palm and rubbing it on my cheek in the pleading for several hard slaps. I think it does make me closer to whom is doing it, it is such an intense feeling. I compare it to sex in a way. I have had sex with people, it was over.. we parted.. all was good. Then I have made love on a deeper level with someone and it brought me closer to them. When I am tied up, it's ok and I do enjoy it. When I am beaten physically, it's like I am being made love to in the most beautiful and primal way that exists. It makes me want more, need more, beg for more.... kiss the hands that cause it.. fall to the feet of the one that gives me such pleasure...such release. I am not sure words can do it justice. I just know that nothing on this earth is like it, no other act for me can compare. When this is done to me, it not only captures my body, but my mind, my heart, my soul.. all of me belongs to him. ~***Andrea***~

twicehappy -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 9:22:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Being really upset with a partner, yelling, screaming, fighting. Finally getting to the point of trying to talk it out. Emotional exhaustion and then the tears come. After the whole process and crying till the face is puffy red and scary looking. There is a certain feeling of release and calmness. Total emotional exhaustion and hopefully a stronger connection and understanding with the person you had the fight with. I hate going there, have done it very rarely in my life. This to is a big part of it. I hate to argue with anybody, my old instinct was to simply take them out rather than endure the yelling. Except of course with my Master. As i got older i realized one of the things i valued most about an M/s relationship was no yelling, no fighting, only obedience or cleansing pain. Safer in a strange sense, no hard words you wished you had not said that you just know your partner remembers no matter how much they forgive you. It hurts, then it is over and forgotten, except for the bruises and welts that are oddly enough reassuring and right and make you feel loved. Gentle twinges that your owner was there.

firstsub -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 10:57:53 AM)
So many of the explinations described combine to describe how pain makes me feel. Free to feel alive again in a world that numbs me. life becomes balanced and calm when it gets frazled, Master's love and concern, all is right again with the world. there is a wothwhile place in this life for me.. emotionally charged, empowered......soothed with a father's hand. So much goes threw my mind and body that only Master gives to me. Just at the right time, just at the right speed, just at the right length. Time passes as Master is served and pleased and His desire is to grace His servent with the much desired pain again.

sweetchubster -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 11:31:09 AM)
Susan, That was so beautiful. It actually made me tear up a little thinking about it. I have only just begun my journey into submission, but from what few experiences I have had, I can definitely identify with your post. -c

fyrekittyn -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 11:49:09 AM)
I enjoy pain. It relieves my tensions, and allows me to simply physically feel for a while. It frees me from the bonds of my mind, and allows an exploration of life. I have a need for it, and a very high tolerance of it. The pain of punishment is totally different for me. I do not enjoy it. It doesn't free me, or erase my tensions. It hurts like a motherfucker. It forges an emotional bond with the person I have allowed, that I have trusted enough, to administer. For me, accepting punishment, in the form of pain, is the ultimate sign of trust. The emotions that run through me at such a time are too many to name, but trust is center placed.

litleone8620 -> RE: Pain and emotional responses in subs/slaves. (7/10/2006 12:06:49 PM)
I feel the need to be beaten quite often, even more so now that i know what it feels like, while i'm being whipped and after. Master has gotten me to the point where i offer him a cane, or the belt for him to use on me, and to beg for it. It pleases me to know that i've gotten to that point of needing him to whip me. While i'm being whipped, my emotions are usually in an uproar. I feel love for Master, love for being his slave. And it's intense, and that's usually what makes me cry. Not the pain from the cane or the belt; but these emotions i feel scare me. Usually after he's finished i feel calm, and connected with him in a way that i know no one else has ever been. I feel as if everything makes sense, i look at things with a clearer, level head. Like the beating just helped me make some decision i've been working over in my head. I feel at peace with myself and with my feelings toward Master.

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