It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want

It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (Full Version)

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Pandola -> It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 4:47:54 PM)
I've met up with three potential Mistresses, all from Craigslist, so what I have concluded, to date, might be more of a Craigslist thing than a collarplaces thing, but I just found out about this site from one of those mistresses. We met, and all goes well, and one even handed me a contract to sign (which I didn't sign because of what I'm about to say below), but, it seemed that all they wanted (all three) was my money. Now, there's nothing wrong with money, nor doing services for money - but that's not what I'm looking for (and they knew that, or so I had thought). But yet, it still turned out to be all about money. Sigh. I guess it's hard for women to find men because for men, it's all about the sex; and yet, it's hard for men to find women, because, for women, it's all about the money. Of course, a RELATIONSHIP would be different - but - it's so hard to find (for both men, and for women)! < / rant >

DesFIP -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 5:30:51 PM)
Looking at your profile, it's not surprising. You don't talk about wanting a relationship, about what you enjoy in the real world and hope to find someone else who also enjoys old movies or hiking or whatever. You only talk about your fetishes. Wanting to give oral sex, wanting puppy play. It's understandable that you're suffering from sub frenzy, but that's never appealing except for someone wanting to use you as you've seen.

BecomingV -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 5:56:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pandola I guess it's hard for women to find men because for men, it's all about the sex; and yet, it's hard for men to find women, because, for women, it's all about the money. Of course, a RELATIONSHIP would be different - but - it's so hard to find (for both men, and for women)! First, DesFIP hit the nail on the head. Those beliefs: for men, it's all about sex; for women, it's all about money. Ew! If you truly believe that, then why are you trying to attract a woman when you are unemployed and not independently wealthy? And, why are you surprised at meeting with 3 women who want your money? Hate just doesn't attract love, IMHO.

FieryOpal -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 5:58:12 PM)
In all honesty, the fact that you're between jobs disqualifies you for consideration as relationship material. You are effectively saying you can't afford to date a woman. How would she know she's not only being used for sex (and/or BDSM play) but in what ways she can uplift and benefit your lifestyle, that you're not going to mooch off of her? Get real, dude. You want a D/s dynamic based on what YOU want. There's nothing to indicate you're even serious about conducting a real relationship, other than "training," basically puppy-dog obedience training. Which is not free out in the real world unless you've already established a rapport with your neighbor or have a good friend to help you out. Make yourself useful. What non-sexual skills do you have? What can you barter by way of vanilla-type services. You want something for nothing, so what makes you any better than those women who are after monetary gain? FYI, oral slaves are a dime a dozen. Vanilla men might think this is some HUGE asset or carrot to dangle--it isn't. You don't automatically qualify as a submissive to gain access between a Domme's legs. It doesn't work that way, fella.

RedMagic1 -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 7:09:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pandola I guess it's hard for women to find men because for men, it's all about the sex; and yet, it's hard for men to find women, because, for women, it's all about the money. Don't sound like Elliot Rodger's manifesto, please. I'm a guy for whom it's much easier to find sex than intimacy. Honestly, I think that's true for most people, both male and female. It's just that men are more likely to misinterpret sex as intimacy, because they had fewer high school experiences of "the boy who didn't call the next day." Women know the two aren't the same, because they've had their faces rubbed in it. Be that as it may, serious question. Why would you want sex without intimacy? I really do mean you should take this question seriously. Perhaps your answer is as simple as, "It's fun," in which case go for it. But if fun is all you're after, why not pay for it? If you live in a major city in the 21st century, there are plenty of traditionally attractive escorts, and single women of all types on Plenty of Fish whom you could take to Olive Garden and then to bed. What does a woman get out of seeing you naked? It doesn't have to be money. I don't think your unemployment is a relationship-stopper, the way FieryOpal seems to believe. It just means that you have to offer a woman something besides money (which you don't have much of). If what you want to offer her is, "The chance to play with my body in any way you choose," then cool, is your body hard as a rock? Lots of women would tie up Terry Crews for free. You see what I mean? If your body is your currency, make sure it's attractive. And hey, if you don't have money, and don't have a 10 out of 10 bod, you could always attract ladies with your personality. Though that's a last resort, only to be used in rare circumstances.[;)] Good luck.

Pandola -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 7:45:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 And hey, if you don't have money, and don't have a 10 out of 10 bod, you could always attract ladies with your personality. Though that's a last resort, only to be used in rare circumstances.[;)] :)

FieryOpal -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 8:11:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 <snip> I don't think your unemployment is a relationship-stopper, the way FieryOpal seems to believe. It just means that you have to offer a woman something besides money (which you don't have much of). If what you want to offer her is, "The chance to play with my body in any way you choose," then cool, is your body hard as a rock? Lots of women would tie up Terry Crews for free. You see what I mean? If your body is your currency, make sure it's attractive. And hey, if you don't have money, and don't have a 10 out of 10 bod, you could always attract ladies with your personality. Though that's a last resort, only to be used in rare circumstances.[;)] You're a guy, RedMagic, average woman as provider is probably not super high on your list of priorities. Plus I'll bet even if you were on unemployment benefits, you'd manage to swing some (inexpensive) cool way to show a lady a good time (besides just in the sack!). Most dudes aren't as resourceful or imaginative. [;)] Hey, I'm not one to leave a person bereft of hope. OP has the practical service angle to consider (has to have gas in his car to get around, though, as well as a running car). I think we can pretty much surmise he does NOT have a smoking hot hard body or he wouldn't be here to get advice, suggestions, and opinions. Those are what you want, isn't it Pandola? At 48, you're not getting any younger. For those who need a clue, here's a great thread of DarkSteven's on "What skills?" for submissive males, especially newbies, that would help you stand out above the crowd on what might spark a Domme's interest: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4419646/tm.htm ETA: Besides, I don't really believe OP is unemployed. He has the means to be trawling around trying to hook up with women on C-list (for free). I wouldn't be surprised if this weren't a ruse to ward off fin&pro-Dommes on this site and/or NOT be available to ask women out on dates in order to invest time & resources in cultivating a real relationship.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/4/2014 10:03:24 PM)
Mr. Oral is baaaaaaack, folks :-/ Different screen name, same outcome...no one's interested. Dude, whether you post as Ilyrium, Maradium, PutMeAnywhere, Telios, or any of the myriad other socks you've been using, apparently what you offer is not the least bit interesting to lifestyle dommes. You're not getting ahead via your personality, so you're gonna have to pay. Repeating the same behavior hoping for a different outcome is the definition of insanity. Either up your game or get out your wallet. Nothing new to see here, folks.

DaddySatyr -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/5/2014 12:38:01 AM)
If I had something that fully half of the population found to be of value and I could make money with it, I would. Unfortunately, most ladies don't find the "Three Inch Wonder Worm" to be all that valuable. I'll die, impoverished. Screen captures *still* RULE! Ya feel me?

Arturas -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/7/2014 5:04:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pandola I've met up with three potential Mistresses, all from Craigslist, so what I have concluded, to date, might be more of a Craigslist thing than a collarplaces thing, but I just found out about this site from one of those mistresses. We met, and all goes well, and one even handed me a contract to sign (which I didn't sign because of what I'm about to say below), but, it seemed that all they wanted (all three) was my money. Now, there's nothing wrong with money, nor doing services for money - but that's not what I'm looking for (and they knew that, or so I had thought). But yet, it still turned out to be all about money. Sigh. I guess it's hard for women to find men because for men, it's all about the sex; and yet, it's hard for men to find women, because, for women, it's all about the money. Of course, a RELATIONSHIP would be different - but - it's so hard to find (for both men, and for women)! < / rant > I've not run into anyone for whom it was all about money unless we are speaking about blood relatives. So, be your best and look for the best and this will change.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/7/2014 3:57:57 PM)
Hello, It appears I am replying to Fiery Opal, yet directing my comment to the OP .. while actually quoting Red. Guess I am thinking, go figure. [:D] Red's comments: "Be that as it may, serious question. Why would you want sex without intimacy? I really do mean you should take this question seriously. Perhaps your answer is as simple as, "It's fun," in which case go for it. But if fun is all you're after, why not pay for it? If you live in a major city in the 21st century, there are plenty of traditionally attractive escorts, and single women of all types on Plenty of Fish whom you could take to Olive Garden and then to bed." That said, you, the OP, your profile indicates you are 48 years old! Have you not grown up yet? Frankly, mature men want intimacy before sex! Mental and emotional connection; then the physical form. Whether vanilla or BD doesn't really matter. The point is these men have evolved from the adolescent, stone age "conquest" stage of life. Nonetheless, lets assume you yourself know this, but have a repressed desire for D/s in your life, all the while suffering vanilla ladies for years. Then pay a Pro Domme ... of course if you don't have a job .. that's really hard to do. Fiery Opals point about getting work first is really critical! And so you can learn what your competition is ... I am a gentleman ... take Dominant Ladies out to first class dining establishments when they are in my town; or will even travel to meet single ones elsewhere. Please do learn to live life; not dwell in fantasy! Life is a growing, evolving experience; and so is BDSM as well as mature Female Dommes!

angelikaJ -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/7/2014 4:55:25 PM)
It's hard to find a relationship here? Really? I know it can be hard to find people one is compatible with, but that is true in any dating arena. For me, it took 18 months, for my One to find me. I wasn't even really looking. That was over 5 years ago. Patience helps.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/7/2014 8:32:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ <snip> Patience helps. Tell that to the OP's poor little worm. Nobody's interested, and he doesn't want to pay, and whaaa whaaa whaaa...[sm=boohoo.gif] "New" profiles every week pushing the same agenda...so obvious, so tiresome.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/7/2014 8:42:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pandola I guess it's hard for women to find men because for men, it's all about the sex; and yet, it's hard for men to find women, because, for women, it's all about the money. Of course, a RELATIONSHIP would be different - but - it's so hard to find (for both men, and for women)! < / rant > I find that assumption incorrect and offensive. I have had no trouble finding good men for awesome relationships. They have had no trouble finding me. Money has never been a part of this. Obviously you're STILL doing something wrong, OP. You might want to look at that, eh? Did you follow our previous advice and get to know folks in your local community? What have you actually DONE besides online/CL? Have you offered to volunteer at local events or introduced yourself at a munch?

Pyramus -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/8/2014 12:21:18 AM)
Seems to me the OP simply has a problem meeting the right kind of girl.

Pandola -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/8/2014 12:03:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt Tell that to the OP's poor little worm. Nobody's interested, and he doesn't want to pay, and whaaa whaaa whaaa...[sm=boohoo.gif] :)

LookieNoNookie -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/8/2014 3:01:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pandola I've met up with three potential Mistresses, all from Craigslist, so what I have concluded, to date, might be more of a Craigslist thing than a collarplaces thing, but I just found out about this site from one of those mistresses. We met, and all goes well, and one even handed me a contract to sign (which I didn't sign because of what I'm about to say below), but, it seemed that all they wanted (all three) was my money. Now, there's nothing wrong with money, nor doing services for money - but that's not what I'm looking for (and they knew that, or so I had thought). But yet, it still turned out to be all about money. Sigh. I guess it's hard for women to find men because for men, it's all about the sex; and yet, it's hard for men to find women, because, for women, it's all about the money. Of course, a RELATIONSHIP would be different - but - it's so hard to find (for both men, and for women)! < / rant > "I am NOT experienced, but I want to learn while pleasing you. Will you teach me?" (Begs others to charge).

Pandola -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/16/2014 4:15:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie (Begs others to charge). I guess that's my fault then, and that I need to change my profile for the better, based on the advice here. thanks!

GoddessManko -> RE: It seems so hard for both of us to find what we want (6/16/2014 5:08:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Pandola ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt Tell that to the OP's poor little worm. Nobody's interested, and he doesn't want to pay, and whaaa whaaa whaaa...[sm=boohoo.gif] :) Eugh, I think he enjoyed that, gross. There are probably some D types who don't mind a kept boy as an s, growing trend in Hollywood, but RedMagic1 though I agree with you (hello again!), I don't believe creepy internet pervert qualifies as "Mr Personality". [;)]

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