Giving advice to newbies to the kink community

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Giving advice to newbies to the kink community - 6/6/2014 1:31:05 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Hi,
I decided to post this very quickly before heading to my gym for a good TGIF workout. I notice many people on the forum doing this. Offering advice based on what THEY want or THEIR experience, which is fine IF you remain OBJECTIVE.
Meaning, speaking in absolutes, delegating exactly what or how the person comes across leans to err and interjecting your opinions literally on things you know little to nothing about may do more harm than good.
I realize some who have been on here are more familiar with people trolling on the forums than the rest of us so when newbs may approach their patience has been quite worn through. But there is always a chance that the person may be naive and just seeking answers in that same token. If a woman chooses to emasculate a man, it's not because she seems him as another gender. The same way a D who chooses to be maternal to a "baby boy" sub is probably not sexually attracted to babies.
I think sometimes it's important to keep these things in perspective for as we grow old and our bones more weary, the up and coming members of the site and forum will be the ones to take the reigns and I would love to see this lifestyle continue to thrive not only in a commercial sense but also where people make genuine connections with other people.
My life is hectic nowadays, I have been busy wholesaling and retailing for my online businesses, getting into new and exciting outdoor activities, and nurturing a large part of the D/vanilla side of my life. I suppose as the boss I'm still a bit of a D. I will however love to check in on responses and see what people have to say on this topic.
I felt like it's something that should be addressed because to be frank, the band wagoning and simultaneous nodding of heads is fine if the advice or information offered was in the ballpark of being remotely accurate. And when it isn't it looks like A) we have no idea what on earth we are discussing and use words and definitions merely to project some facade that we do or B) that we are being intentionally or unintentionally misleading. Either of those things will turn an intelligent mind completely OFF.
With that being said, I'm off to work on my tushy and abs.
Ciao to you all.

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RE: Giving advice to newbies to the kink community - 6/6/2014 2:41:22 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

You have a point.

I tend to give universally advice to go to munches and get involved in the local community. That's for a few reasons:

1. If you have a wide network, you will be able to check out numerous people quickly.
2. There are very few at the local events who are predators, etc., because most of them won't show their face there.
3. The guys cheating on their SOs won't show.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Giving advice to newbies to the kink community - 6/6/2014 5:56:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Nobody can be truly objective because we see things primarily from our own perspectives.
Which is why it is incumbent on people to know for themselves what they need so they can decide for themselves if someone's advice would be helpful or not.

It's not my job to fix someone else's life. It's not a therapist's job to do that either. My purpose here is to share my experience so someone else can decide if that works for them or not.

With that said, I'm fine if you decide that I'm talking out of my ear. Because your opinion is no more important to me than mine is to you. And no more than any of our opinions should be to anyone else.

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RE: Giving advice to newbies to the kink community - 6/6/2014 6:10:04 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Nobody can be truly objective because we see things primarily from our own perspectives.
Which is why it is incumbent on people to know for themselves what they need so they can decide for themselves if someone's advice would be helpful or not.

It's not my job to fix someone else's life. It's not a therapist's job to do that either. My purpose here is to share my experience so someone else can decide if that works for them or not.

With that said, I'm fine if you decide that I'm talking out of my ear. Because your opinion is no more important to me than mine is to you. And no more than any of our opinions should be to anyone else.

Seconded. Sharing life's experiences is how we carry on imparting our personal knowledge to the next generation(s), who keep encountering accelerated learning curves.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Giving advice to newbies to the kink community - 6/11/2014 4:44:29 PM

BecomingV

Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
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Using the "Search" function on Collarchat, using the phrase, "giving advice" brought up 300 threads. Using the phrase, "giving advice to newbies" brought up 91 threads. Reading those is a great way to learn more.

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