Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (Full Version)

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BeastMcLion -> Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/8/2014 5:58:46 PM)

Calling a woman a pig and making her act like one is something that is considered taboo in the vanilla world. especially when they are overweight. When using bdsm it could be very effective especially against feminists who call men pigs. Itd be a double whammy if said feminist is overweight my question is a general rule is making women a pig too far on average.?



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/8/2014 11:13:50 PM)

Every woman is different. Once you have a woman in mind, ask her how she would react. Some will love it, others hate it, some will be indifferent.

To be honest I wouldn't care very much about your choice of word, but would be somewhat disturbed that you were looking for something to use 'against' me, rather than figuring out what works for both of us. I'd also be put off by your odd comment about feminism. The vast majority of women are feminist to some degree. If you're hanging around with women that call men pigs just because of their gender, then the word you are looking for is 'asshole', not 'feminist'. I'd be inclined just to move on by and find someone more worthy of your time rather than worry about what names you would call them.

BDSM is about two people with different tastes coming together for mutual fulfilment - it shouldn't be adversarial.



FieryOpal -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/8/2014 11:49:14 PM)

IMPO, you're not going to find very many women who get off on being called a "pig" and being treated like one -- We're already self-conscious enough about our weight, bodies and appearance. Plenty of sub men who do, though.

I also share AthenaSurrenders' concerns. It sounds as though this isn't merely a kink with you and that you have some resentment issues toward women. You shouldn't be playing with anyone you are harboring resentments toward. To be fair, there are way too many Dominant women (which from your profile seems to be your preference) who are man-haters and seek to emasculate (not simply degrade, as that is a mutually consensual humiliation kink) them. I get the feeling perhaps that YOU might be the one who wants to be treated this way instead.



angelikaJ -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 12:20:02 AM)

If you don't like women who are not HWP, then don't play with them.

It really is that simple.

Many women don't enjoy any form of humiliation and for those who do, physical appearance is frequently not used at all ever.



DarkSteven -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 7:16:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BeastMcLion

Calling a woman a pig and making her act like one is something that is considered taboo in the vanilla world. especially when they are overweight. When using bdsm it could be very effective especially against feminists who call men pigs. Itd be a double whammy if said feminist is overweight my question is a general rule is making women a pig too far on average.?


That has to be one of the most confused questions I've ever read.

1. We do not "use" BDSM, we "practice" it.
2. If a woman is a feminist who calls men pics, it's unlikely she'll appreciate degradation. Please note that because SOME feminists may call men pics (several did in the 1970s), this has nothing to do with most feminists. If a Hispanic steals someone's wallet, that does not mean that it's okay for me to steal Hispanics' wallets as a general rule.
3. The fact that she is overweight has nothing to do with it. I have known drop dead gorgeous women who thought they were overweight.
4. By "making" her a pig, I assume you mean the butt plug, perhaps a mask, having her on all fours as well as namecalling.
5. Why are you talking about "on average"? Average means NOTHING in kink. If I have a kink I want filled, finding out what the average sub woman wants is pointless - I'll simply find a woman that DOES want what I want.
6. You are overlooking the key concept of consent. If a woman consents to any kind of play and does not withdraw her consent, then that play is okay. If she does not consent or withdraws it once started, then the play is NOT okay. The nature of the play itself is irrelevant as long as it is SSC. Or RACK. Or PRICK.
7. The concept of consent is crucial, and underlies the basic flaw in your concept. It seems like you want to provide nonconsensual humiliation, and the nonconsensual nature of the degradation is what gets you off. But it's that very thing that makes your fantasy wrong.

When kink is consensual, and two (or more) partners get each other fulfilled mutually, it's a beautiful thing.



DesFIP -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 10:23:02 AM)

You're 20 years old and have issues of entitlement against women. You hate the idea of a woman earning the same pay as you, and being hired instead of you. And you want to take out your anger against women by using body image fears against them.

But I don't think you need to worry about it. So far, it doesn't appear that you're going to get too many women to sign up for play or a relationship with you.



BeastMcLion -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 10:11:23 PM)

DesFIP I am a very outspoken equal rights activist but feel free to judge me based on one paragraph. That's the truly diplomatic way



Gauge -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 10:59:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BeastMcLion

DesFIP I am a very outspoken equal rights activist but feel free to judge me based on one paragraph. That's the truly diplomatic way


I read your profile. It reads like someone that detests women. You go right for the throat about women with weight problems by saying this little gem:

quote:

I'm sorry but if you look like chewbacca ate a hippo I'm not gonna be licking your feet.


You certainly may want to disagree with me, but you couldn't find a better way to say what type of woman attracts you?

You sound ambiguous and undecided about what it is you seek and what type of dynamic you desire. In one paragraph you say you do not approve of tattoos and then say you like partners with tattoos.

I am not judging you over one paragraph, but I am judging you based on several, written, presumably, by your own hand and in your own words. Perhaps removing that chip on your shoulder and figuring out what it is that you want would be a better use of your time than trying to figure out if "pig" is an appropriate term, because for you, apparently "hippo" is just fine.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 11:27:20 PM)

edit...read the other one... opps.



angelikaJ -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 11:36:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BeastMcLion

DesFIP I am a very outspoken equal rights activist but feel free to judge me based on one paragraph. That's the truly diplomatic way


If being righteously indignant is your personal fetish then good for you, but a little consistency might help avoid confusion in the future.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 11:39:33 PM)

Your profile says you are a writer but you don't want to be judged by your words.
You have an obvious defensive reaction to a woman criticizing you.
You want to "use" bdsm as a weapon, not share in a kink with a partner.
You want an "average' answer as to how women as a whole will deal with a very socially hated form of humiliation.

Okay.

Are you sure you are a writer? Because they get judged a lot and I do mean a lot.
Are you sure you are a switch and not just a kinkster?
Do you understand that using emotions as weapons commonly leads to a very short relationship?
Do you also understand that there is never really an "average" answer when it comes to bdsm. In the vanilla world the "average" answer would most likely be that it would piss a woman off, but I'm betting you already have personal knowledge of that. In bdsm it is all about if you can find someone into the same things you are.






DaddySatyr -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/9/2014 11:47:24 PM)


I'm sure there may be a few that might think that "pig" is an appropriate appellation but I don't think that sluts, on the whole, like to be referred to as "pig". [:D]







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?



subrosaDom -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/10/2014 12:02:55 AM)

Wittiest comment of the night.

(As for myself, I'm waiting for a sub who uses the word "appellation" properly!)



ThirdWheelWanted -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/10/2014 12:04:54 AM)

Hmmm, you write a profile that's mostly a hateful rant about fat, hairy, lazy women, and you wonder why people assume you're a misogynist?

The only thing people have to judge you on here is your words, and your words paint you in a very ugly light. Generally you write a profile to try to portray yourself in the best way possible. If that's you at your best... well, do I really need to finish that?

You might want to seriously consider the image you're presenting, because right now, you sound like someone one step removed from a sociopath. I'm assuming you wrote that when you were relatively calm, if so, I'd hate to see what you're like when you're pissed off. I was a mentor to a young woman just getting started in the scene a few years ago, so I interacted with a lot of guys and read a lot of profiles. If she'd have asked me about you, I'd have warned her to stay far away. You sound like a dangerous stalker in the making.

Oh, and no offense, but if that's the best example of your writing, it's really not much of a wonder as to why you're struggling. No one expects a profile to be a great work of literature, but clean it up a little, show some pride in yourself. Make it look like you actually care about the image you're presenting. Everyone makes typos. In a forum, not that big a deal. In a profile that you've had plenty of time to look over and realize how messed up it is, a much bigger one. Especially when you claim to be a writer in your first paragraph.

Just my $.02, take it or not, your call.



BecomingV -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/10/2014 1:08:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeastMcLion

Calling a woman a pig and making her act like one is something that is considered taboo in the vanilla world. especially when they are overweight. When using bdsm it could be very effective especially against feminists who call men pigs. Itd be a double whammy if said feminist is overweight my question is a general rule is making women a pig too far on average.?


There's a segment of the population that enjoys humiliation and/or degradation role play. There are masochists. None of these is specific to men or to women, it's just hard-wired in some people. Many think of it in terms of "edge play" because of the extreme risk of harm to the psyche. It's a tough call. For instance, some male masochists desire humiliation focused on penis size. Kind of common, no big deal. But, further down that path, a person may desire amputation... which is generally not considered kink. In that case, people tend to call in a psychiatrist to get the person help. Others just run away.

There are some boundaries in BDSM. First... consent between adults. Without consent, it's abuse and it's criminal because it violates the rights of others. The second one is like, "Do as you will, but harm none."

It's also good to get up to speed about BDSM. It's not a male supremacy society. Both men and women are both dominant and submissive. And, being dominant or submissive does not mean the person is into sensation forms of play, like sadism or masochism. You have to ask people to clarify their desires and interests on an individual level. Some people, like me, won't entertain kink discussions until long after a vanilla relationship has been enjoyed in real life.

I honestly never saw Pig play in any public venue, and I've been to quite a few. Nor, in private home parties. So, I'm thinking it's a more private kind of kink. I have seen pony play, though, with much pageantry. I think that's because the pig thing is about humiliation, although confident players may play in a pubic space, too. Anyone else seen it?

Pig play can be researched by hitting the "search" button at the top of this page. Enter the word, "pig" and start doing some reading. On the CollarSpace side, where your profile is, you can clear the search boxes and enter the word "pig" there to perform an interests search. That will bring up profiles of people who share your interest. Since you are a newbie, it's best to start up conversations with people who already went down that path.

If you weren't a newbie, I wouldn't have offered this information, based on reading your OP and profile. Like others here, I would warn others away because of the hateful, resentful and whiny tone. Plus, there is a glaring conflict between who you say you are and how you present. A writer? Sentence structure. Grammar. Spelling. The inability to convey a desire. The inexperience with human motivation versus revulsion. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, that you sincerely have an interest, or a need, to engage in mutually agreed upon humiliation, via pig play.

Education may expand your mind to healthy outlets for your urges, but if your urge is to harm another person, that's not BDSM, and you should seek professional help immediately for anger management and communication skills.

ETA - There's a thing called, "after care." Look into it and if it doesn't feel like something you can give, then that can give you some clarity regarding your motivation to share a kink versus a desire to inflict harm. Also, understand the difference between "hurt" and "harm."



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/10/2014 1:09:23 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BeastMcLion

DesFIP I am a very outspoken equal rights activist but feel free to judge me based on one paragraph. That's the truly diplomatic way


What activism are you involved in? That's something interesting that might win you some interest included in your profile. Assuming you do really mean activism, of course. And assuming they get past the stuff that reads as very judgemental of certain body types.

We don't know you in person. All we have to go on are you words - your thread, and your profile. Yep, it's pretty harsh to be judged on so little, but making judgements is an unavoidable part of being human. The plus side is that a written medium gives you plenty of time to really think about the impact your words are likely to have and so increase your chances of people judging you favourably. This can't surprise you, since you are a writer.



BeastMcLion -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/11/2014 8:26:31 AM)

Becoming V, thanks for at least answering my question and some of the advice. I did notice a lot of contradictions now that you mention it. That's kinda my problem most of the time I am extremely politically correct and constantly walking the tight rope of cooperation with almost everything, but I also have an compelling attraction to humilation and degredation so much thay it would seem I have gone a bit too far over the edge by the large results of dissent and the obvious summation that some things are just too far in the general term. By general, I don't mean all women or all men just an average of human consensus. As for the statement of my naivete, I am very new at this and the only woman I had previously practiced BDSM with was probably not the best to learn from because she had severe self-depreciation issues and I think some of that resulted in an opposite reaction with me; I'll try to tone it down in the future. However, my rampant misuse of grammar and constant spelling errors are here to stay, I have to type by smartphone most of the time due to a recent destruction of my laptop. The keys on the phone are too small for my rather large hands and my spell check often auto corrects to the wrong word. Also, looking back I probably should have stated with proper consent, forcing anyone ti commit sexual acts without consent is rape and I would find that disgusting. I thought proper consent went without saying, but I am saying it now anyway. Anywho, thanks for the advice and info. Have a nice life all that.

P.S. ATHENA SURRENDERS I have participated in walks for breast cancer etc.that generally benifit women, but the parts of Ohio I live in are largely conservative and most liberals in my area are apathetic to anyone but themselves, so I usually am just a one man protest about equality for everyone, I try to hang out with likeminded inviduals attend some rallies but they usually consist of people bithcing, getting nothing done, and grilling shitty tofu. Secondly, yeah, I did forget the human factor of judging with what little evidence there was and probably should have seen that coming. Lastly, yeah my profile does sound really mysoginistic, I should learn to quit rewriting when I have been drinking. I haven't checked it in weeks I should go fix that. Thanks for the help.



orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/12/2014 12:40:46 PM)

It's a complete turn off for me. If a Dom messages me calling me a pig, or his name or profile contains reference to pigs, I block and ignore.



mnottertail -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/12/2014 12:43:59 PM)

But you do appear able to polish a knob, which I have seen on your profile.



GoddessManko -> RE: Is the word pig too personal for bdsm? (6/12/2014 2:40:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BeastMcLion

Becoming V, thanks for at least answering my question and some of the advice. I did notice a lot of contradictions now that you mention it. That's kinda my problem most of the time I am extremely politically correct and constantly walking the tight rope of cooperation with almost everything, but I also have an compelling attraction to humilation and degredation so much thay it would seem I have gone a bit too far over the edge by the large results of dissent and the obvious summation that some things are just too far in the general term.

P.S. ATHENA SURRENDERS I have participated in walks for breast cancer etc.that generally benifit women, but the parts of Ohio I live in are largely conservative and most liberals in my area are apathetic to anyone but themselves, so I usually am just a one man protest about equality for everyone, I try to hang out with likeminded inviduals attend some rallies but they usually consist of people bithcing, getting nothing done, and grilling shitty tofu. Secondly, yeah, I did forget the human factor of judging with what little evidence there was and probably should have seen that coming. Lastly, yeah my profile does sound really mysoginistic, I should learn to quit rewriting when I have been drinking. I haven't checked it in weeks I should go fix that. Thanks for the help.


OK, you're young, too young to turn to the drink while you are at home alone and trying to display your attractive qualities as a D. I'm going to try to be gentle in my conversation with you. As a D, my primary focus, as for most D's you may encounter on the forum 1: Responsibility, 2:Self improvement and 3: A Ballpark sense of empathy. I hardly think any D on this forum participates in BDSM because of the ability to freely degrade someone, hurt someone or "lash out" at someone. Most of us DO CARE VERY DEEPLY for our subs.
You are young so, you have a lot of growing up to do but I hope you realize that the thought of someone vulnerable and tied up at your feet of the female persuasion is a bit alarming given how you perceive them, especially your apparent vehemence for people who participate in non profit fund raising. Please do a little self eval before involving someone in whatever underlying issues made you decide that you're killing two birds with one stone in your fight against feminism by bullying someone based on a very shallow and under developed perception of your female counterparts.
I think if you work on your own self improvement and self discipline you can better channel the sadistic elements of your personality in a healthy way. But as you are now, I could not imagine a sub giving you responsibility for his/her well being. I wonder if you have any perception of limits within yourself at all or when you will push the envelope too far.
I'm giving you this advice because you have the potential to be either a great D who appreciates his sub or a walking disaster. You're young enough to change.



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