RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/12/2014 2:01:07 PM

quizzicalkitten

Posts: 312
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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
What I am wondering is how orgasm denial works for others. I would like to know if others have experienced the same lackluster result and what you did to correct it.

No, the complete opposite. The sexual energy is stored up and results in intense arousal and pleasure, if released.

quote:

Is this a common problem? If you are so inclined, please explain how you use orgasm denial in your play sessions and if the results vary because of it.

It tends to affect women who have a low to medium sex drive. Women who particularly enjoy denial tend to be very highly sexed, and the denial only increases that.

It may not be appropriate to deny your partner if she already struggles to maintain her arousal without being denied.

Except every woman I know that has a high sex drive also shuts completely off if edged. It's a woman by woman basis not a tend to anything.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/12/2014 2:40:53 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart

I have an extremely hard time orgasming to begin with. Mess with it when it's about to happen, and chances are it wont happen at all, and i will naturally be very upset.

I'm the same way most of the time. Except when He is in my head so completely that I'm 90% there before He even lays a finger on me, that's when it could most likely happen with the snap of a finger!

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 6/12/2014 2:44:14 PM >

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/12/2014 2:48:12 PM

shiftyw

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We don't do punishment here.

If we did I might have a hard time with it. I'm super orgasm-y. But I like to do it when its pleasing for him, since that is my driving force in submitting at all (I live to hear "good girl")- so if I feel he is doing it just to "throw me a bone"- I'm probably less inclined to cum as hard and feel more selfish.

You've gotten some great responses.

For me denial can sometimes come back and bite the dom in the ass in that...I might not cum. I'm pretty present oriented- and if you get me past the peak of arousal and I keep it from happening- I might just not be able to after. its just how I'm wired.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/12/2014 3:33:00 PM

InHisHeart

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

What I am wondering is how orgasm denial works for others. I would like to know if others have experienced the same lackluster result and what you did to correct it.

He uses orgasm denial during play at times but doesn't use it as a punishment. He'll forbid me to masturbate as a punishment so in a sense orgasm denial but that's a whole different thing. Orgasm denial doesn't affect my ability to orgasm when he finally gives me permission. I do orgasm easily and have multiple orgasms, whether that's the reason or part of the reason why denial doesn't affect me being able to, I don't know. If he used denial for play at times and also used it as punishment at times, I believe it would have a negative effect. He doesn't use anything we do for play as a form of punishment.

IHH

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/15/2014 4:48:22 AM

ante

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart

I have an extremely hard time orgasming to begin with. Mess with it when it's about to happen, and chances are it wont happen at all, and i will naturally be very upset.

Ditto!

If I'm on the edge and begging to cum because I'm actually right there, the best result is achieved by granting permission, preferably encouragingly!

I have been denied for too long and it usually ends in tears on my part and a complete loss of arousal. I go completely numb/cold and it's just utterly horrid and scary.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/15/2014 8:08:02 AM

eliseobeys

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Im normally very very sexually aroused quite easily under the right conditions.

Edging is awesome for me if there is release in the end by either forced orgasm, command, etc.

But whenever I was with dominants who thought submissives should rarely if ever have an orgasm, like go for days or weeks sans anything but edging...I start to become crazy after the first week and turn fridged and rebellious by the second... by the third week Im done, out, see ya, resentful, mean, total bitch wanting blood mad even.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/15/2014 8:40:02 PM

graceadieu

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Intellectually, I understood also. However, while in a submissive headspace I wasn't thinking logically or analytically. And in an emotional and sensory headspace, I found I couldn't distinguish between him pretending to punish me and him actually doing so.

Just a head's up from my pov. Because wiitwd isn't logical or intellectual or analytical, it's intense and not at all usual. So it makes sense that what you get will be illogical responses.

I'm the same way. Even if it seems clear, to a partner, that they're saying it in a sexy and fun way, being told that I've been bad and should be punished always upsets me and ruins my enjoyment. I can still be forced to have an orgasm after that, but it's a lot more difficult and I don't particularly enjoy it.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/16/2014 12:36:34 PM

hypnotic

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I never deny orgasm. I prefer to cause so many that my submissive begs to stop or can't get it up again for the night. denying just feels wrong and since I love loud auditory vocalization it gets me off as well to hear. Its a win win.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/17/2014 11:36:35 AM

orgasmdenial12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
What I am wondering is how orgasm denial works for others. I would like to know if others have experienced the same lackluster result and what you did to correct it.

No, the complete opposite. The sexual energy is stored up and results in intense arousal and pleasure, if released.

quote:

Is this a common problem? If you are so inclined, please explain how you use orgasm denial in your play sessions and if the results vary because of it.

It tends to affect women who have a low to medium sex drive. Women who particularly enjoy denial tend to be very highly sexed, and the denial only increases that.

It may not be appropriate to deny your partner if she already struggles to maintain her arousal without being denied.

Except every woman I know that has a high sex drive also shuts completely off if edged. It's a woman by woman basis not a tend to anything.

Perhaps your definition of a high sex drive is not what I would call a high sex drive, since we are talking about women who are at the very top of what I have encountered in women, sexually. For example, I have the highest sex drive of any woman I know in real life. I also run several orgasm denial groups, with many hundreds of women who participate in long term denial, and none of them report a sexual shut down. We've had several discussions on this topic and we all agreed that women who tend towards 'marathon' denial all had the traits of extremely high sex drives, that did not disappear with denial. We often find that women who do not want or enjoy orgasm denial tend to 'will' themselves into not wanting sex, as a kind of martyrdom / punishment for the Dom. For the genuinely high sexed woman, she cannot 'turn off' her sex drive no matter how much she may want to, resulting in very high arousal during orgasm denial.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/17/2014 11:45:37 AM

DesFIP

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So what you're saying is that you know a group of women who find denial arousing and therefore all women should also. This makes as much sense as saying because you own several grey cats, all real cats are grey.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/17/2014 12:24:13 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12
....and none of them report a sexual shut down.

And that would an extremely small sample group of statistically skewed results because of the closed audience where the poll was taken.
It's a bit like asking people who attend the Glastonbury Festival if they like music then declare that most people like festival music. DUH!!

I can tell you, even with my small circle of friends, none like orgasm denial.
Those with a very high sex drive lose interest in sex very quickly when denied the pleasure.
Much like what kitten said, edged denial turns them off completely.
And our lady play friend doesn't get super-charged sexually when she goes without for a short while - she gets high on the regular sex and it wanes considerably when she doesn't get it.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/18/2014 12:02:32 AM

CuriousAboutYou

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The funny thing about orgasm denial is that it only works for a short period of time.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/18/2014 6:21:16 AM

morebonds4you

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Gauge

I have had this issue as well with a former girlfriend. There was a fine line between over stimulating her for to long as a punishment and for pleasure. I learned that when I did allow her to orgasm she wasn't experiencing the mind blowing orgasms. When we talked about we decided that if I got her to that over stimulated point she would signal me and I would stop and let her calm down. After a while I could reinvigerate her and give her the orgasm we both wanted her to have. Just an idea.

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/18/2014 6:49:26 AM

cloudboy

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Unless you're locked up for year in a steel chastity belt your just messing around and not experiencing real denial.

Pros: Absolute Denial

Cons: Absolute Denial

Pros: Separates the real slaves and submissives from the fetish wankers and players

Cons: Chaffing and Airport Security Issues

Pros: Eliminates Cheating

Cons: Requires Prostate Milkings

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/18/2014 10:54:34 AM

graceadieu

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From: Maryland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: quizzicalkitten

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
What I am wondering is how orgasm denial works for others. I would like to know if others have experienced the same lackluster result and what you did to correct it.

No, the complete opposite. The sexual energy is stored up and results in intense arousal and pleasure, if released.

quote:

Is this a common problem? If you are so inclined, please explain how you use orgasm denial in your play sessions and if the results vary because of it.

It tends to affect women who have a low to medium sex drive. Women who particularly enjoy denial tend to be very highly sexed, and the denial only increases that.

It may not be appropriate to deny your partner if she already struggles to maintain her arousal without being denied.

Except every woman I know that has a high sex drive also shuts completely off if edged. It's a woman by woman basis not a tend to anything.

Perhaps your definition of a high sex drive is not what I would call a high sex drive, since we are talking about women who are at the very top of what I have encountered in women, sexually. For example, I have the highest sex drive of any woman I know in real life. I also run several orgasm denial groups, with many hundreds of women who participate in long term denial, and none of them report a sexual shut down. We've had several discussions on this topic and we all agreed that women who tend towards 'marathon' denial all had the traits of extremely high sex drives, that did not disappear with denial. We often find that women who do not want or enjoy orgasm denial tend to 'will' themselves into not wanting sex, as a kind of martyrdom / punishment for the Dom. For the genuinely high sexed woman, she cannot 'turn off' her sex drive no matter how much she may want to, resulting in very high arousal during orgasm denial.

Shutting down sexually from long-term orgasm denial isn't about "martyrdom" or about punishing the Dom, it's about protecting yourself.

There's only so long the human psyche can deal with being denied something that you have an extremely strong desire for and need in order to be satisfied. Sooner or later it just becomes painful and makes you upset and tense all the time. So people will shut down and make themselves not want to avoid having that chronic pain and anxiety.

I would think people that have high sex drives would be more prone to doing that, not less.

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 6/18/2014 10:55:32 AM >

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RE: Orgasm Denial Pros and Cons - 6/19/2014 8:11:56 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

No, the complete opposite. The sexual energy is stored up and results in intense arousal and pleasure, if released.

It tends to affect women who have a low to medium sex drive. Women who particularly enjoy denial tend to be very highly sexed, and the denial only increases that.

It may not be appropriate to deny your partner if she already struggles to maintain her arousal without being denied.

quote:

Perhaps your definition of a high sex drive is not what I would call a high sex drive, since we are talking about women who are at the very top of what I have encountered in women, sexually. For example, I have the highest sex drive of any woman I know in real life. I also run several orgasm denial groups, with many hundreds of women who participate in long term denial, and none of them report a sexual shut down. We've had several discussions on this topic and we all agreed that women who tend towards 'marathon' denial all had the traits of extremely high sex drives, that did not disappear with denial. We often find that women who do not want or enjoy orgasm denial tend to 'will' themselves into not wanting sex, as a kind of martyrdom / punishment for the Dom. For the genuinely high sexed woman, she cannot 'turn off' her sex drive no matter how much she may want to, resulting in very high arousal during orgasm denial.

On the one hand, my excitement builds up when edging, but this isn't an externally enforced condition with me and definitely has nothing to do with punishment, which I find rather bizarre in itself. I tend to squirt when I do allow myself to reach orgasm or give my partner the green light (not as a safe word, but metaphorically speaking). Then I easily have a series of multiple orgasms, but of lesser intensity. I view it more as finishing out the primary orgasm to its full completion, and I do think I have a fairly high sex drive. However, I don't believe any of this has to do with an edging or orgasm teasing & (temp) denial interrelationship with sex drive levels.

I have a friend who is, for wont of a better word, a self-admitted nymphomaniac. According to her, and she may be exaggerating, she *makes* her vanilla dates give her 100 orgasms minimum or they don't make the grade with her. <mouth still hanging open in disbelief> I don't know what to make of her assertion because I don't believe there is a vanilla guy alive who is capable of such a feat, even if he were suffering from satyriasis. My point is, her off-the-charts sex drive has nothing to do with orgasm denial/edging. She is equally confounded with me as to why I would bother to engage in this practice or what could I possibly be getting out of it.

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