Lying Deceitful slave (Full Version)

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MissesVicious -> Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 6:50:42 AM)

I have a 24/7 live-in slave. It has been 7 months. All along he has made up excuses and at times I have flat out called him on his bullshit. For instance, I asked him what he was doing, he didn't realize that I had been watching him for several minutes. He straight up lied about what he was doing.

He is not allowed to look at my phone, computer screen, etc. One day I was walking upstairs and had forgotten my phone so I turned back to get it... he thought I wasn't looking and quick ran over to my phone to see whom I had been texting.

These are not isolated instances, I catch him in stupid lies and outright shadiness all the time.

BUT NOW

He told one of my roommates to pay him the rent while I was in Florida last month. He had absolutely no authority to do such a thing and I flipped. I told him that if he ever interfered with my tenants again I would kill him.

Needless to say, he did... but then he lied about it and said that the tenant approached him and he had just set the money aside for me and had forgotten about it.

Long story short, he approached the tenant and asked for the rent. Then, he lied to me about how the situation transpired. He asked the tenant to delete the text messages between the two of them so that I would have no proof. SO he lied about something very serious, disobeyed, and then tried to cover the whole thing up.

I don't want to release him but I do want to make him NEVER FORGET how bad it will be if he continues with this behavior.

In every other way, he is OUTSTANDING. He would do anything for me and he does. I truly think he has a mental disorder and can't help it and I am prepared to do whatever I can to help him or kick his ass, whichever it takes.

I am just venting and trying to calm down before I approach this thing at all, and it has already been over a week.....

Comments are quite welcome.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 6:55:14 AM)

If this doesn't make you send him packing, I am sure you will be getting more of the same. And, you deserve it.



ThirdWheelWanted -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 6:55:16 AM)

All this sounds unacceptable in a boyfriend, in a slave I don't know what to call it. This is a man who's lied and stolen from you. How can you possibly trust him after that?



BossyKitten -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 6:57:42 AM)

My only question is, why don't you want to release him? He's lied to you, broken your trust, stolen from you and has been a all around terrible person to be in a relationship with. Even being good in bed wouldn't make up for that kind of frustration and deception. There is literally no way to punish this man that will be effective, I can almost guarantee you're dealing with the sort of person who'd become resentful for the punishements (because in his mind he's not doing anything wrong, he knows you'll be mad about what he's doing which is why he lies but that's different than believing what he's doing is wrong) and he'll probably act out even more. If it were me I'd change the locks, block his number from my phone, send his emails to junk mail and never see him again because anything else is just showing him that his behaviour is acceptable and allowed.



searching4mysir -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 6:58:27 AM)

FR

Sounds to me like you don't own him, he owns you and has no respect for you. If this is what you want, then carry on as you have.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:08:20 AM)

FR~

In my book, leopards don't change their spots.
If he did it once then stopped, that would be forgivable.
But it appears he has done this sort of thing before and I think he'll do it again.

So... that leaves you two choices -
Forgive him yet again.
Or, kick him to the kerb.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:08:24 AM)


I don't quite understand the computer and phone restrictions but, I can tell you that it would make me curious as to why I can't look at them. I'm a firm believer in: "If something has to be done in secret, there must be something wrong".

Having said that; this is a simple equation, really. If he'll look at your phone without permission and lie about it, what else will he lie about? How's his HIV status? Is he managing to dip his wick elsewhere? In my experience the one who distrusts the most is usually the one who's the most guilty. Why's he snooping?

I apologize but, this really does sound like a cluster-fuck.







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?



Tkman117 -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:13:01 AM)

I think she said looking at her phone and computer, not phones and computers in general, but I could be completely mistaken.



DarkSteven -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:19:02 AM)

Do you thrive on aggravation? Have your previous partners been full of drama and issues?

If so, seek therapy and then kick this manipulative non-slave out.

If not, simply kick him out.



angelikaJ -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:25:08 AM)

If you think he has a "mental disorder" then why don't you have him in counseling/treatment?

If you thought he had a heart condition would you just wait to see if it got better on it's own?

Perfect in every way, except that he is jealous and deceitful.

Mental illness is a physical illness.
Take care of that and get couple's counseling if you want to stay together.




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:32:01 AM)

What Angelika said. If this relationship is worth saving (and I sure as hell wouldn't want to but...) then get him the mental health support he needs, get couples counseling to work out the trust issues, and seriously consider working this out with him living elsewhere. Since you have roommates who have been brought into this mess at least twice, it's got to be getting them down as well. It's not fair for them to be involved in your relationship drama and certainly not to have to witness a drawn out punishment.

Nothing against punishment dynamics in general, but they should be used in addition to, not in place of, adult communication and a mutual commitment to the relationship. And should never, ever be used when someone is suffering from a mental illness meaning they might not be making rational decisions. Then it becomes abusive.



FieryOpal -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:35:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissesVicious
<snip>
I don't want to release him but I do want to make him NEVER FORGET how bad it will be if he continues with this behavior.
<snip>

Does he have a magic dick or something (tongue)? That you haven't already kicked him to the curb?

He doesn't respect your authority. He is hardly your slave, and you are not his Mistress, you're the Mother Figure of his passive-aggressive character disorders. Did you want to raise a mentally debilitated child? I don't believe that was part of your master plan, but it sure sounds like this is what you have on your hands.

Get rid of him, or you will have only yourself to blame.



SweetAnise -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 7:55:39 AM)

To the OP: Definitely sounds like he doesn't respect you one bit. Relationships have to be built on trust, open communication, and honesty. You don't have any of that. You cannot change what is broken nor should you try to fix it if they don't want fixing.



MissesVicious -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 8:25:10 AM)

.......................UGH



MissesVicious -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 8:28:04 AM)

Angelika,

I am just coming to the realization that he must have a mental disorder. However, I haven't embraced the horror of the situation yet so I've done nothing other than shake my head in fucking wonder.




MissesVicious -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 8:29:09 AM)

Athena,

That is why I have not rushed to judgement or punishment in spite of the fact that I want to beat his brains in.



Gauge -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 9:03:39 AM)

Have you sat down and discussed this with him? Confronting him with the lies when you have discovered it? Have you been able to express how you feel to him about his behavior and your resultant lack of trust in him?

The fact is, you do not trust him, and he obviously does not respect you, your rules or your finances. Mental disorder or not really makes no difference because it doesn't excuse bad behavior. Before anyone blasts me about that statement, I fully understand mental illness and understand that sometimes it gets out of control, but this type of distrust and deceit goes very deep and speaks to a larger problem overall.

Sit him down and talk with him... talk, don't yell and scream. Express your concern and dismay with what has happened. If he lies to you, call him on it right there, but don't attack him for it, use it as an example as well. Tell him that you are frustrated and angry about the situation. See what he says. Depending on the outcome, you can maybe suggest him getting some help, maybe discuss the fact that you will terminate the relationship if this does not change.



DesFIP -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 10:11:13 AM)

I can understand him needing to know for sure that you aren't looking for a new partner on the side. Because that kind of secrecy that you have would make me feel insecure and distrustful of you. And if a past partner was cheating on him, then of course he needs you to be open.

I don't understand stealing from you. For that, there's no excuse nor any diagnosable condition that causes it.



angelikaJ -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 10:48:08 AM)

FR: there are circumstances that may make one more prone to lie even when there is no need to, even when telling the truth is just as easy and there is no perceived benefit to being dishonest.

Growing up in an alcoholic home is one of those.
In the event that is the case:
http://www.drjan.com/13char.html

Taking money that does not belong to him... did he eventually give it back to you or give you an accounting of where it went or even explain what he needed it for in a way that was verifiable?
Is it a possibility he took it to feed an addiction of some kind?

I agree that is wholly unacceptable.
If you are going to allow him to remain in a relationship with you then he needs to show you he understands why stealing is wrong and especially from you.
If he doesn't know why he did it, or claims he doesn't, then counseling ASAP, for both of you and as a couple.



InHisHeart -> RE: Lying Deceitful slave (6/9/2014 1:06:22 PM)

Dishonesty in any form is unacceptable to me, there's no excuse for it and would definitely be a deal breaker for me as well as for Master. Being honest or dishonest is a choice even if there's some underlying issues and/or mental illness, it's not an excuse to lie and steal, it's a choice. People can help themselves if they choose to get the help they need. If he has a mental illness then it's his responsibility to get whatever treatment he needs just as it would be his responsibility to get treatment for any other type of illness.

IHH



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