Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics?

Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (Full Version)

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Gauge -> Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 7:13:42 PM)
If this thread needs to be moved elsewhere, so be it. I will admit that I am a bit annoyed at the trend in the "As The Collar Turns" forum feed box on the other side as well as here. I am disheartened that there is more fervent discussions going on in the political sections than on the other forums. There are plenty of places to discuss politics, but on a bondage forum? There are complete BDSM sections that are going without posts for days, while the political section is going stronger than ever. Frankly, I stay away from that section mainly because political discussions tend to cannibalize themselves and slink quietly into the realm of kindergarten name calling and therefore they accomplish nothing whatsoever. Politics divide people, oddly enough BDSM can do the same thing because we all have our own ideas about things, but at least there is an easy answer to that problem, admitting that my way is not necessarily your way... with politics there is rarely that level of compromise. What are people who are new to the forums to think when the current newsfeed is deluged with politics and BDSM turns into a secondary topic? I suppose that I am lamenting the early days of the site when BDSM was the focus of the community, and politics was a distant, distant second. I had to get this off my chest. I am sure that I will get lambasted for my opinion, but that is OK... I can take it. I just do not see political discussions fostering a deeper sense of community.

DarkSteven -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 9:10:56 PM)
They really aren't political discussions. They're namecalling sessions, longheld grievances coming out. The wrapping is politics, but the true contents are rancor there.

Blonderfluff -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 9:13:59 PM)
I don't think you will get lambasted, but I wouldn't expect a huge response, either. I will give you my opinion on the lack of good, quality threads. The majority of real, genuine, long term posters have abandoned ship. It's just that simple. I think this is due to a few things, all of which have already been beaten to death here on other threads.

dcnovice -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 9:19:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven They really aren't political discussions. They're namecalling sessions, longheld grievances coming out. The wrapping is politics, but the true contents are rancor there. Well said.

REI22999874 -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 10:20:26 PM)
My Dad used to tell me never to argue about politics or religion.....................It's one of the few things I have ever agreed 100% with him about. They both divide and they both descend to playground bullying levels. Once a persons mind is made up about either of those topics, you are NEVER going to confuse him/her with facts.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 10:29:10 PM)
For what it's worth: I have never been much of a BDSMer. I am much more a DSer. I have noticed that with the recent "purge", I tend to feel more at ease, posting in other areas than I did, before. Unfortunately, I don't have (and never had) much to add, when it comes to BDSM but, I do post where the spirit moves me. Not to be too negative but, as someone who spends more time posting in the basement, there's an awful lot of threads in the upper levels that are about findommes, fat-bashing; all the usual, worn-out topics (I think we're about due for a good "slaves are better than subs" debate). I think it's S.N.A.F.U. Screen captures *still* RULE! Ya feel me?

tj444 -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 10:38:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I will admit that I am a bit annoyed at the trend in the "As The Collar Turns" forum feed box on the other side as well as here. I am disheartened that there is more fervent discussions going on in the political sections than on the other forums. There are plenty of places to discuss politics, but on a bondage forum? There are complete BDSM sections that are going without posts for days, while the political section is going stronger than ever. Frankly, I stay away from that section mainly because political discussions tend to cannibalize themselves and slink quietly into the realm of kindergarten name calling and therefore they accomplish nothing whatsoever. Politics divide people, oddly enough BDSM can do the same thing because we all have our own ideas about things, but at least there is an easy answer to that problem, admitting that my way is not necessarily your way... with politics there is rarely that level of compromise. What are people who are new to the forums to think when the current newsfeed is deluged with politics and BDSM turns into a secondary topic? I suppose that I am lamenting the early days of the site when BDSM was the focus of the community, and politics was a distant, distant second. No, I can't say that I have ever talked more about bondage than politics.. I am not really into bondage and talking about the sex stuff.. but there really isn't much new in that anyway, bondage is bondage, sex is sex.. what's to talk about??? your time is better off watching your fav porn flick.. [:-] ..but politics is always changing, new laws, new scandals, new politicians, new elections, new shootings & gun debates, legal challenges, whistleblowers, etc.. so of course these changes/news will cause people to talk about them, voice their opinions, biases, etc.. maybe some would call that progress??? [:D]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 10:38:34 PM)
Perhaps it's because BDSM hasn't change that much in the past 10 years and the topics are pertty much all talked out. Politics on the other hand . . . if you had told me we were gonna have a black president, I wouldn't have believed you. So politics has fresh meat for topics, BDSM doesn't. . . . and there is the age old chest beating and long standing feud between the Hatfields & the McCoys as DarkSteven mentioned.

TheHeretic -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/12/2014 11:12:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge I am a bit annoyed at the trend in the "As The Collar Turns" forum feed box on the other side I've been suggesting that the politics dungeon get pulled from the scroll - not so much to avoid the sensibilities of the dynamic focused and/or the twue, but because the conversation down there probably isn't the best way to let new users perving profiles know that the site has discussion forums too. I'll try to get back to the thread to address the deeper topic more directly, when sleep requirements permit.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 2:57:12 AM)
Honestly, the two recent messes here have destroyed the site and like Blondie says, caused many long time posters to become too disgusted finally to continue. I rarely post myself anymore because there's little interesting being said. While RS is right that nothing really new orr diffferent has occured BDSMwise for years and politics is ever changing, I believe the recent ridiculousness and "policies" have adversely affected the discussions "upstairs." While for the most part, the whole "your kink iss not mine..." has applied, these new policies basically are telling people nottt to have opinions, because the whole everyone should be encouraged to enjoy whatever their fetish and no matter how bizarre, no one should say anything against it. The whole "play nice, kiss ass" means don't have an opposing opinion to anyone. The result? Accept just legal "dommes" who complain that they are called names for being "findomess" when all they really are is lazy giirls looking for a free ride. Are there legitimate findommes? Of course, but let's be real, on these boards, there are less than a dozen. Even with the stupidity in the basement, at least you can state an opposing opinion.

eulero83 -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 3:30:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr For what it's worth: I have never been much of a BDSMer. I am much more a DSer. I have noticed that with the recent "purge", I tend to feel more at ease, posting in other areas than I did, before. Unfortunately, I don't have (and never had) much to add, when it comes to BDSM but, I do post where the spirit moves me. Not to be too negative but, as someone who spends more time posting in the basement, there's an awful lot of threads in the upper levels that are about findommes, fat-bashing; all the usual, worn-out topics (I think we're about due for a good "slaves are better than subs" debate). I think it's S.N.A.F.U. Screen captures *still* RULE! Ya feel me? I agree with what you wrote and I want to add many times when a newbie ask a question in the general discussion area the thread gets flooded with posts about what's orthodox bdsm and what's not. I think if someone is "just kinky" or mostly wants to spice things up in the bedroom, even if he's genuine in his curiosity, gets discouraged from posting and partecipating.

Blonderfluff -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 5:15:04 AM)
quote: I agree with what you wrote and I want to add that many times when a newbie asks a question in the general discussion area the thread gets flooded with posts about what's orthodox bdsm and what's not. I think if someone is "just kinky" or mostly wants to spice things up in the bedroom, even if he's genuine in his curiosity, gets discouraged from posting and partecipating. This is true. Newbies start threads here for several reasons. 1. To drive traffic and attention to their profile on the other side. 2. They have lurked for a while, know what will incite a cyber "riot" and purposely start a thread just to watch the show. 3. They aren't really "newbies", they are using sock profiles. See #2. 4. They genuinely have a question, stay active in their thread, respond well to differing opinions, and sometimes become regular posters. Now I'm sure there are a ton of other motivators for newbies posting. But the majority fall into one of the above. So now I ask you...what is better? To have new threads ignored, with one or two polite-ish responses and then the thread dies because everyone KNOWS they are trolling? Introductions that NEVER get anyone to respond? That is exactly where the message boards are right now. It's boring as hell. Or snark and attitude thrown at #2 and #3, a bit of brusque guidance about the Forums for #1, and then pages of participation for #4 ??? When the people with outspoken opinions, that don't have any interest in posting in P&R, but have strong ties to the Forums, leave the site...the drama stops on the regular boards. The downside is that the interesting conversations leave with them. You can't have both. The P&R crowd is just business as usual. No more, or less, than before. It's just more noticeable now, because everything else has died. Edit to add content more relevant to the OP

SweetAnise -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 6:14:27 AM)
To the OP and Blonderfluff: I find nothing wrong of politics and religion being discussed nor general discussions. I believe the comfort level of people feeling they are able to have discussion has often become problematic. There are problems everywhere i.e. companies, corporations, and the like- but I think what I found disappointing is that the behaviors of many took the problems here to another level causing much more problems and drama than needed. I am an adult, and sometimes it is important to know when to pick your battles and stay in your own lane. So conversation stopped and gossip started. Most people who have stopped coming are the same people who complained about EVERYTHING. This is the internet, I know I won't meet any of you and so I take a lot what happens here with grain of salt. I just to feel that most people got off on the problems that occurred and tried real hard to push it over the edge without thinking that it was none of their business in the first place- whatever business it was! I love intelligent conversation not bashing! Intelligent conversations always stimulates me. [:)]

MrRodgers -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 6:25:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Perhaps it's because BDSM hasn't change that much in the past 10 years and the topics are pertty much all talked out. Politics on the other hand . . . if you had told me we were gonna have a black president, I wouldn't have believed you. So politics has fresh meat for topics, BDSM doesn't. . . . and there is the age old chest beating and long standing feud between the Hatfields & the McCoys as DarkSteven mentioned. You've got it. I think of it as some using different terminology and that while there is a forum for BDSM discussion, for me and some...it remains almost exclusively a fetish, mostly a kinky, sexual fetish. Objectively, if one consults the 'S' in the bdSm we find for DeSade it was also almost exclusively...the same. Later on in his life according a certain honesty in his writing, it seemed to overtake his sexual foreplay and needs. As far as reasonably public forums, I think people hesitate to come forward for fear of being blasted for any extreme ideas when one doesn't have that much practical experience or can't otherwise prove it as say with those that have engaged with a poster or even with legit photography. I call it forum 'cred.' At other sites where one with it, writes on the subject that with it...it's brilliant porn, without it, it's midnight wanking.

Musicmystery -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 6:48:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge If this thread needs to be moved elsewhere, so be it. I will admit that I am a bit annoyed at the trend in the "As The Collar Turns" forum feed box on the other side as well as here. I am disheartened that there is more fervent discussions going on in the political sections than on the other forums. No one's stopping y'all from having lively BDSM discussions. Why don't you? In the Gorean section, we've talked about the same things over and over far beyond the point of boredom, redundancy, and dead horses. And frankly, I see the same old same old in the other threads. Topics are predictable, responses from posters are predictable, the same circus, mainly the same clowns. A lot of the activity died down in the Gorean forum after the FAQs. Every holiday, we'd get some troll blasting in, and the reactions to the reactions to the reactions would start. Now, rarely, and the regulars lost their taste for that and are living life. In P&R, current events keep shifting, which brings new fuel, and there's an active talk-show-mentality media deliberately firing up issues, which then get posted by partisans in the forum. That's the activity. From there, as previously noted, everything is predictable on a rancor-ish note at best. You want to see that in the BDSM sections? Post aggressively controversial topics attacking aspects of BDSM, and you'll get your flurry. Getting people to react isn't hard. Throw shit, and instead of just getting out of the way, people throw it back.

MrRodgers -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 7:00:20 AM)
Furthermore. As for politics, there are many more public links to which forum posters can refer and include in their forum posts, while there is very little in the way of media and cyber news when it comes to BDSM. Politics is unfortunately designed at times and now most times...to be a strictly partisan discussion, rarely as objective discussions. When even the honest exchange of ideas...the most partisan begin to look for any means whatsoever to remain so trying to but often failing to generate anything more than a political pissing contest. Many that are very familiar with this social/political phenomenon and on a bipartisan level, will tell you this is by design by those in power to be a very large distraction from what really is going on as historians have described as the wants of the power...behind the thrones. The more the public discussion remains partisan, the more our politics remains the same and the less that gets done and the even more partisan the discussion and the worse it gets in govt. eliminating any real political threat to those powers.

angelikaJ -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 7:24:50 AM)
Once upon a time, there were a lot more users. The most users on collarchat were 63349. It is rare when we have 3,000 now and the majority of those are guests. And from Blonderfluff's list I think we are seeing less of the #4s now.

Gauge -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 9:19:46 AM)
So, if I am to understand the general feeling here, it is that BDSM is stale and worn out and politics is exciting and fresh. Got it. I didn't realize there were two negative events that happened recently, only the most recent one. I suppose that could explain a little of that as far as the dying down of traffic to the boards. As far as the suggestions that I post in the BDSM boards, I do. While I do not usually start topics, I participate in discussions when there is something pertinent to discuss and will stick with some topics until they are concluded. I kind of feel that the community in general has lost its way. Surely it cannot be that people have nothing to share or talk about relative to BDSM even if it has been discussed before. When the energy is being expended elsewhere and the passion and drive is focused on politics, is it any wonder that the other forums are suffering? What kind of message is it that is being sent when we are on a BDSM site and feel that everything has been talked out and there isn't a vibrancy and fire in our bellies about what drew us here to begin with? Yes, I suppose that this may mean that the community is in mid/late-stage death throes and it is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. How fucking sad is that? Somewhere along the line, a great idea got lost.

Musicmystery -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 9:26:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Gauge So, if I am to understand the general feeling here, it is that BDSM is stale and worn out and politics is exciting and fresh. Got it. That's your spin, not what people posted. But congratulations! That's exactly the posting style that keeps P&R humming. As for the rest -- We go through this "Why is Gor dying" bullshit periodically on the Gorean forum. And it's not dying at all -- we're just out actively living our lives, Gorean and not. The BDSM community is not so different. How exciting is it to talk about the same things over and over and over? That doesn't mean they aren't living vibrant lives, BDSM or not -- it means they don't need to rehash square one to do it. It would be nice if fresh topics got started, or if the new folks had those lively discussions themselves. Instead, we get the perennial crop of whining threads, and yup, that gets tiring, old, and stale very quickly. You can't fairly whine about the death of something you're helping to kill. My two cents. Your mileage may vary. Have fun storming the castle!

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Remember When We Talked More About Bondage Than Politics? (6/13/2014 1:12:14 PM)
From what I've seen "fervent discussions" are not going on in the political forums. Just the spewing of vitriol. And I think it's great they have a less moderated place to do that; keeps them away from the other threads. Hallelujah. I myself miss very few of the departed old time posters. And for those who miss them, you can still find them on other sites. I do agree with a poster above who decried the level of "niceness" the current moderators are enforcing on the other threads now, primarily because it allows the stupid crap to proliferate unchecked. If anything kills this forum for good, I suspect it will be that plus all the fin dommes. As far as there being nothing new under the bdsm sun to discuss, that has been true for as long as collarchat has existed; hasn't stopped the forums yet.

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