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Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:05:10 AM

CobaltRose

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Is it wrong im envious of feminine pre-HRT MtFs? You know, the ones who are able to look female even without HRT? Because i absolutely HATE my very masculine body, and i feel HRT is the only thing that will make me feminine. Also is it wrong i dont want HRT because I think im a girl, but rather I feel i am bi-gendered but also want to be feminine rather than masculine? I mean, I dont exactly hate my penis, i mean i rather not have it but i probably wont be able to afford SRS so i can live with it, but the rest of my masculine body i just do not like. Still, for all intents and purposes i still would prefer the female pronouns and more or less I am MtF, though its more Masculine to Feminine. Im sorry im so confusing.

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RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:14:37 AM

angelikaJ

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I feel like I am going to sound like a broken record.

1) Find a counselor who is LGBT friendly.
2) Make an appointment.
Repeat 2.

Transition requires extensive therapy anyway.
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to discuss all these various points of confusion with someone on a regular basis, who is qualified to offer help?

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RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:20:48 AM

CobaltRose

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I feel like I am going to sound like a broken record.

1) Find a counselor who is LGBT friendly.
2) Make an appointment.
Repeat 2.

Transition requires extensive therapy anyway.
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to discuss all these various points of confusion with someone on a regular basis, who is qualified to offer help?

Unfortunetly im having a hard time finding an available counselor in my area, otherwise i wouldnt be here talking about my problems, i be in a therapy office. I really want to start it soon though. the sooner i start therapy, the sooner i can get to starting HRT

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:30:18 AM

angelikaJ

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Are there any LGBT groups in your area or even a bit a ways?
You may be able to catch a referral from there.

_____________________________

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(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

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RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:35:00 AM

CobaltRose

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Are there any LGBT groups in your area or even a bit a ways?
You may be able to catch a referral from there.

In Richmond, but my mom aint gonna drive me all the way to richmond for something she doesnt know about (i dont have my own car)

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 5

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:49:24 AM

angelikaJ

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You could call them.
They may be able to refer you to someone in your area.

And perhaps you could work on getting your driver's license?
Then you might not be so reliant on your mother.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 6/16/2014 8:50:11 AM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 6

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 8:50:44 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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I thought your family knew you are MtF now? Am I misremembering?

Without having a clue how far Richmond is -
-Are there any trains, coaches, any sort of public transport?
-Is there a friend who would drive you? Could you pay them gas money/for their time? Could you tag the visit on to a social trip to Richmond?
-Have you phoned up and see if they offer any services over the phone or if they have an outreach in your area? Or could they help with transport or finding something more local?
-Have you phoned and asked if they can recommend a therapist in your town (you might not necessarily have to go to their centre in person)? Or a support group?

As to your question - no it isn't wrong to feel that way, but it isn't necessarily the most healthy attitude either. You've got the body you've got. Some medical treatments can change it but only to a limited extent and you won't know how much until you go through it. There's definitely something to be said for working on healthy self-acceptance in the mean time, because you might get the HRT and find it doesn't make as much difference as you hoped, or it does but you still have hang ups about how you look.

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(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 7

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 10:57:36 AM

InHisHeart

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I wouldn't say your feelings are wrong but I will say being envious and dwelling on what others have that you don't have can cause more harm than good to you.

We can all be envious of something someone else has but if you allow envy to consume you, it'll just build anger and resentment towards them and towards yourself which won't do you any good.

You were given some good suggestions on things you can try and I agree with Athena, in the meantime work on developing healthy self-acceptance.

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RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 5:30:46 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Call therapists in your hometown and interview them on the phone as to how knowledgeable they are on trans issues. If they've had any experience counseling a trans. Because here, I know several therapists who are perfectly qualified in this even though they don't advertise it or specialize in it.

Even if someone you speak to isn't comfortable counseling you, that doesn't mean they can't recommend someone else.

I might look for a child psychologist because this is a problem that starts in pediatrics. Nobody wakes up on their 21st birthday to announce they suddenly aren't comfortable with their gender. So anyone who specializes in children or adolescents should have some experience.

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RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 5:44:55 PM

CobaltRose

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Call therapists in your hometown and interview them on the phone as to how knowledgeable they are on trans issues. If they've had any experience counseling a trans. Because here, I know several therapists who are perfectly qualified in this even though they don't advertise it or specialize in it.

Even if someone you speak to isn't comfortable counseling you, that doesn't mean they can't recommend someone else.

I might look for a child psychologist because this is a problem that starts in pediatrics. Nobody wakes up on their 21st birthday to announce they suddenly aren't comfortable with their gender. So anyone who specializes in children or adolescents should have some experience.

Actually, i didnt just decide it on my 21st birthday, i known it since i was 15 but just recently got self acceptance of it.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/16/2014 10:38:53 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Right. And so has everyone else known from early on that their body doesn't match their gender.

And that's why I'm suggesting a child or adolescent psychologist. Because they've seen other young people who felt this way.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 12:03:36 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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I don't think that it's "wrong" to be envious in your situation. I do, however, think that you have a lot of things going on that you shouldn't be trying to sort out on your own.

I echo what the others are saying about finding a therapist. It doesn't need to be one who specializes in LGBT issues to help you. It just needs to be a good therapist. While the issues in your situation can be specific, it is mostly dealing with self acceptance and sorting through what you want to do moving forward, i.e. working ultimately towards SRS. As long as the therapist isn't trying to talk you out of being who you are, they should be able to help.

Eventually, it might be best to get someone who specializes, but right now, I think you really need to talk to someone about all the feelings you are having that you post here about, your gender issues, your thoughts regarding faith and religion (which are not the same), and how to tell your family about who you are. If you were near me, I know of two therapists who don't specialize but who could be helpful to you, but alas, we don't live close.

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 7:07:32 PM

CobaltRose

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Honestly right now i just feel alone in my own home.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 7:41:04 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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So what did you do for yourself today?

Did you call the place in Richmond to see if they could refer you, or any of the other pro-active things AthenaSurrenders suggested?

Not doing anything is not going to make you feel any better.

Perhaps this may help: https://www.superbetter.com/

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 14

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 7:51:20 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

Is it wrong im envious of feminine pre-HRT MtFs? You know, the ones who are able to look female even without HRT? Because i absolutely HATE my very masculine body, and i feel HRT is the only thing that will make me feminine. Also is it wrong i dont want HRT because I think im a girl, but rather I feel i am bi-gendered but also want to be feminine rather than masculine? I mean, I dont exactly hate my penis, i mean i rather not have it but i probably wont be able to afford SRS so i can live with it, but the rest of my masculine body i just do not like. Still, for all intents and purposes i still would prefer the female pronouns and more or less I am MtF, though its more Masculine to Feminine. Im sorry im so confusing.

WTF you talking 'bout Willis?

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 8:10:51 PM

CobaltRose

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Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

Is it wrong im envious of feminine pre-HRT MtFs? You know, the ones who are able to look female even without HRT? Because i absolutely HATE my very masculine body, and i feel HRT is the only thing that will make me feminine. Also is it wrong i dont want HRT because I think im a girl, but rather I feel i am bi-gendered but also want to be feminine rather than masculine? I mean, I dont exactly hate my penis, i mean i rather not have it but i probably wont be able to afford SRS so i can live with it, but the rest of my masculine body i just do not like. Still, for all intents and purposes i still would prefer the female pronouns and more or less I am MtF, though its more Masculine to Feminine. Im sorry im so confusing.

WTF you talking 'bout Willis?

.....ok that was completely pointless. unless you were trying to actually ask me a question and got my name wrong.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 16

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 10:59:54 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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Lookie posts like that in every thread. If you don't get his sense of humour (and I don't, most of the time) best just to ignore him, he's not being mean.

So what have you done to improve your situation?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 17

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/17/2014 11:30:52 PM

CobaltRose

Posts: 246
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

Just waiting for a responce email from a therapist. Honestly is it wierd im worried less about my mom not accepting and more about her thinking im full of shit?

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 18

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/18/2014 5:30:48 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Lookie posts like that in every thread. If you don't get his sense of humour (and I don't, most of the time) best just to ignore him, he's not being mean.

So what have you done to improve your situation?

Ed Zachary!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 19

RE: Is it wrong im envious? - 6/18/2014 5:35:09 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CobaltRose

Is it wrong im envious of feminine pre-HRT MtFs? You know, the ones who are able to look female even without HRT? Because i absolutely HATE my very masculine body, and i feel HRT is the only thing that will make me feminine. Also is it wrong i dont want HRT because I think im a girl, but rather I feel i am bi-gendered but also want to be feminine rather than masculine? I mean, I dont exactly hate my penis, i mean i rather not have it but i probably wont be able to afford SRS so i can live with it, but the rest of my masculine body i just do not like. Still, for all intents and purposes i still would prefer the female pronouns and more or less I am MtF, though its more Masculine to Feminine. Im sorry im so confusing.

WTF you talking 'bout Willis?

.....ok that was completely pointless. unless you were trying to actually ask me a question and got my name wrong.

Some of us (I for one) have absofuckinglootly no idea WTF you were talking about (even as clearly....you did).

Sorry you were offended but, I for one was....unbelievably confused.

(Hence the {sincere} question, whether you deemed it as such or not).

(in reply to CobaltRose)

Post #: 20

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