Real Mistresses?

Real Mistresses? (Full Version)

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drewtoserve -> Real Mistresses? (6/18/2014 2:07:02 PM)
Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure. Where are these beautiful ladies?

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/18/2014 4:30:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewtoserve Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom (who) says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome (to me), most of the please (pleasure) I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure.(pleasure). Where are these beautiful ladies? Where you find them. Don't be a device that requires quarters and a pull on a handle (unless you're providing the quarters). Cash is highly effective. (Always remember....they have the tits AND the pussy).

DarkSteven -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/18/2014 5:51:43 PM)
Fella, hire a pro. Seriously. Your post says you want a women who'll play with you. Your profile says how YOU want to serve. Not how she wants to be served. The way to serve a Domme on her terms is to make her laugh, take her out, spend time with her, hold conversations with her. Oh, yeah, the play stuff too - but that's the dessert, not the main course. Seeing what you want is just play, it'd be a lot easier to just pay a pro.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/18/2014 6:57:39 PM)
According to your profile, you found one before who shared you with her girlfriends and humiliated you publicly in sex shops. How did you find her? Try that again. Btw, why didn't that work out? Might the reason be related to why you can't find someone now?

RockaRolla -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/18/2014 8:10:43 PM)
In the same places you find the fake ones. You just have to put more effort in sifting through. Everyone has to go through this, from male subs to dommes to doms and female subs. Your frustration is not new but it is premature. Keep looking and stop giving attention to every domme you come across.

smartsub10 -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/19/2014 9:26:08 AM)
You say you want to bring HER pleasure. Then, you go on to describe all the things that give YOU pleasure. That's not how it works. As Dark Steven said, kink is the dessert, not the main course. Lookie's right too. Cash is he fastest way to having your kink itch scratched.

missbrownjinx -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/21/2014 1:30:05 AM)
Dark Steven is quite correct. As a lifestyle domme myself, it is just as hard to find a suitable sub. I can't be arsed to read the OS' profile but from the other posters' comments he sounds like the typical with unrealistic expectations. If you want a relationship with a lifestyle domme, you accept what that domme's kinks are and what SHE wants. In case of a pay by the hour pro-domme, then you have some leeway to 'dictate' your interaction. Put on your big girl panties and choose which one you want.

Killerangel -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/21/2014 8:36:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missbrownjinx Dark Steven is quite correct. As a lifestyle domme myself, it is just as hard to find a suitable sub. I can't be arsed to read the OS' profile but from the other posters' comments he sounds like the typical with unrealistic expectations. If you want a relationship with a lifestyle domme, you accept what that domme's kinks are and what SHE wants. In case of a pay by the hour pro-domme, then you have some leeway to 'dictate' your interaction. Put on your big girl panties and choose which one you want. Good idea missbrownjinx, could you do that in your avatar too please? OP, it's a common statement from male subs that they cannot find a Domme. The fact is that there aren't many of them around in general, and there certainly aren't many, if any at all, looking to fulfill a stranger's sexual fantasy just because. Men tend to come here thinking that what they see in porn is real-it's not. The 'beautiful ladies' walking around in boots and leather that enjoy disciplining and humiliating panting men that they don't know, exist in your head. Ask yourself why a strange woman would want to spend her time getting you off? Does that idea even make sense?

Delilya -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/22/2014 2:18:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Killerangel OP, it's a common statement from male subs that they cannot find a Domme. The fact is that there aren't many of them around in general, and there certainly aren't many, if any at all, looking to fulfill a stranger's sexual fantasy just because. Men tend to come here thinking that what they see in porn is real-it's not. The 'beautiful ladies' walking around in boots and leather that enjoy disciplining and humiliating panting men that they don't know, exist in your head. Ask yourself why a strange woman would want to spend her time getting you off? Does that idea even make sense? This. ^^ I have actually met several wonderful people on this site. Made good friends with some, didn't connect on any level with others. I have formed relationships with, and collared, 2 of them. But they made the effort to get to know me and gain my interest. It was built over time. You'll have to bring your best to the table, there are just too many of you, and not enough of us. We can pick and choose.

SweetlySadistic1 -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/22/2014 7:35:02 PM)
Wow man. You just joined the site today & you're already impatient!? You need to learn more patience. Also, your profile is pretty much all about kink. What's up with that!? I have a great submissive but it's not ALL about the kink. Sure, there is kink but there's also the "other" stuff. You know, we talk and laugh together, cuddle, go places and do vanilla things together that we both like, I do things for him both non-kinky and kinky/sexy and, likewise, he does things for me both non-kinky and kinky/sexy. We truly enjoy each other's company in a vanilla way as well as in a D/s and kinky way. The Domme you want is also a woman. You need to approach her as you would a woman, not as a fetish-delivery service. Take the time to get to know her as a woman and a person first, as a Domme second. She will appreciate that. But if fetish-delivery is all you want, well, then forking over the cash is the way to go. SweetlySadistic1

pleasemsbliss -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/23/2014 2:00:27 PM)
If you are looking for tips on how to bypass the masses on findoms and others requiring cash, good luck and keep on searching. The reality is that it's not about you. Let's repeat that again. It's not about you, it's not about what you want. Lifestyle women are like regular women, with normal llives, who want to connect as people, not as fetish providers. If all you seek is the kink/sexual getting off thing you are better off paying someone. It is going to take a lot of time before you can even just get a decent reply from someone, much less meet, and connect. It's a numbers game that is not on your favor.

GoddessManko -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/24/2014 6:55:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Fella, hire a pro. Seriously. Your post says you want a women who'll play with you. Your profile says how YOU want to serve. Not how she wants to be served. The way to serve a Domme on her terms is to make her laugh, take her out, spend time with her, hold conversations with her. Oh, yeah, the play stuff too - but that's the dessert, not the main course. Seeing what you want is just play, it'd be a lot easier to just pay a pro. DarkSteven is one of the extremely few men who gets it. He is always spot on. He is like a gyno guru. Exactly as he said, I started reading your profile and at first thought "OK, he seems decent" and then that slowly converted to disgust. Yes, actual disgust. It's not about your looks or money UNLESS she's a pro or fin, hello! You are pretty much painting up scripts and scenes from fantasies for her to fulfill. Hire someone. It's what you are seeking, a professional. So you will attract them and NOT Lifestyle, yuck, LOL. Also MsJinx, your avatar...no offense, but make it go away please. Pretty sure it violates TOS for images and no one wants to see that. Just helping you out dear. <3

PeonForHer -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/24/2014 3:26:18 PM)
quote: Where are these beautiful ladies? Small tip: Don't use that word 'beautiful', DS. Nearly all of them think they're 'kind of OK on a good day', at best. 'Beautiful' is about as achievable for most women, as far as they're concerned, as 'Superhero' is for most men. Femdoms are very much not an exception in that respect, in my experience.

missbrownjinx -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 8:52:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessManko quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Fella, hire a pro. Seriously. Your post says you want a women who'll play with you. Your profile says how YOU want to serve. Not how she wants to be served. The way to serve a Domme on her terms is to make her laugh, take her out, spend time with her, hold conversations with her. Oh, yeah, the play stuff too - but that's the dessert, not the main course. Seeing what you want is just play, it'd be a lot easier to just pay a pro. DarkSteven is one of the extremely few men who gets it. He is always spot on. He is like a gyno guru. Exactly as he said, I started reading your profile and at first thought "OK, he seems decent" and then that slowly converted to disgust. Yes, actual disgust. It's not about your looks or money UNLESS she's a pro or fin, hello! You are pretty much painting up scripts and scenes from fantasies for her to fulfill. Hire someone. It's what you are seeking, a professional. So you will attract them and NOT Lifestyle, yuck, LOL. Also MsJinx, your avatar...no offense, but make it go away please. Pretty sure it violates TOS for images and no one wants to see that. Just helping you out dear. <3 My profile photo seems to offend a lot of people's sensibilities. (I changed it by the way [8D]) I also noticed in other threads there's a lot of sex-negative bias. E.g. a female poster who was told by more than one person that her journal entries were 'too sexual'. Lot of horseshit in my opinion.

Gauge -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 9:09:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missbrownjinx My profile photo seems to offend a lot of people's sensibilities. (I changed it by the way [8D]) I also noticed in other threads there's a lot of sex-negative bias. E.g. a female poster who was told by more than one person that her journal entries were 'too sexual'. Lot of horseshit in my opinion. No, your former avatar, if I recall what it was, didn't offend anyone's sensibilities, this is an adult site for crying out loud. What it did, however, was equate to a guy posting his naughty bits as his avatar. Some might want to see that, most do not. Frankly, I do not mind provocative pictures for avatars, when an avatar is someone sticking a finger in someones ass, I will choose when to look at porn, thank you. I mean seriously, on a bondage site, you suggest we are prudes? Really?

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 9:51:15 AM)
~FRing it~ Oh, Jinx...if I wanted to see fingers being jammed up someone's ass, Id have gone to medical school and become a proctologist. Just because pics like that give you little tingles in your special private places, it does not mean everyone else feels the same way. I know, I know. Mind = blown, right? [8\|]

TinkerHell -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 10:03:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewtoserve Hi everyone. I have been on this site for a while and am having trouble finding a lifestyle mistress, not just someone whom says they are a mistress and only in it for the money. I am not cheap and take good care of the people around me but tome, most of the please I derive from serving a mistress is the fact that I am bringing HER pleasure. I'm looking for a Mistress who truly enjoys disciplining and humiliating! Someone who gets aroused by controlling and spanking, whipping or humiliating me. Giving myself to someone in that way is where I derive my pleaseure. Where are these beautiful ladies? We're in boxes on the shelves of Dommes R Us just waiting for the perfect male sub to come along with a head filled with scripts he's been masturbating to since puberty to pick one of us. We're to the left of the Fifis and one aisle to the right of the inflatable dolls that promise " to love you long time". I have difficulty understanding the disconnect - why do people think that the D/s relationships are somehow less than regular relationships. Especially lifestyle BDSM - which is at its core a relationship. You want to be beaten, you want to be punished, you want to serve... guess how many messages I get a day when my profile is active that read just like your post? By the way...would you approach a chick you wanted to date with with a laundry list of your wants, needs and fantasies before you know her first name? Let me turn it around for you... what about YOU would make it worth my while to single you out from the 15 new unread messages that have appeared in my inbox since I signed on a little while ago? What are you besides yet another middle aged guy looking to be spanked? What makes you interesting? Finally on the subject of "money" - I used to think that this site was just infested with parasites, and it is. But there are also subs on here who think that every woman on here is for sale, available to the highest bidder? How exactly is that anything but insulting? Do Male Dominants get the same kind of messages from women? Before I gave up on the idea of finding a male sub on here, my profile started with "DO NOT SEND ME EMAIL OFFERING ME MONEY" - which did nothing to stem the flow of "I want to spoil you" messages. I finally reached a point where I would send out a response with a wish list and the statement that I would only respond once I received a gift. That simple act put a stop to the multiple messages that I received from subs who couldn't be bothered to actually read my profile. I realize you didn't ask for advice, you asked for a map where X marks the spot but I'm going to offer advice anyway. I suggest that you think about presenting yourself as a whole person - rather than just an Id that needs a Super Ego to smack it into submission.

TinkerHell -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 10:10:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Fella, hire a pro. Seriously. Your post says you want a women who'll play with you. Your profile says how YOU want to serve. Not how she wants to be served. The way to serve a Domme on her terms is to make her laugh, take her out, spend time with her, hold conversations with her. Oh, yeah, the play stuff too - but that's the dessert, not the main course. Seeing what you want is just play, it'd be a lot easier to just pay a pro. You make me sigh in an old fashioned girlish kind of way. You should be bottled up and sold as an antidote to "the stupid".

mnottertail -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 1:29:03 PM)
Jebus!!!! Havent seen you tinkering out here in a while. Ron

DarkSteven -> RE: Real Mistresses? (6/25/2014 5:11:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TinkerHell quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Fella, hire a pro. Seriously. Your post says you want a women who'll play with you. Your profile says how YOU want to serve. Not how she wants to be served. The way to serve a Domme on her terms is to make her laugh, take her out, spend time with her, hold conversations with her. Oh, yeah, the play stuff too - but that's the dessert, not the main course. Seeing what you want is just play, it'd be a lot easier to just pay a pro. You make me sigh in an old fashioned girlish kind of way. You should be bottled up and sold as an antidote to "the stupid". I'd like to accommodate that idea, but right now I'm in negotiations to be bottled and sold as an aphrodisiac for women. Sorry.

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