am i jumping to conclusions? new to bdsm online

am i jumping to conclusions? new to bdsm online (Full Version)

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Default -> am i jumping to conclusions? new to bdsm online (6/18/2014 5:01:13 PM)
New to online bdsm chat and community, but I live a 24/7 D/s married dynamic, here to learn and get new ideas. Okay, I'm getting that "funny feeling" that this guy is just out for getting his online rocks off, and not really helpful to my specific situation at all... Am I just jumping to conclusions here or could there actually be something to learned here? quote: some random 26yo dom: you're seeking a Teacher? Default: I am, she is very submissive by nature, I was the stubborn one who only recently realized how the BDSM lifestyle is more than meets the eye. It's already taken our relationship to new levels that I never thought possible, and now I am trying to learn what I can about myself, her, and our established roles. If you have the time, I'd love to ask you some questions about a few things, to make sure I'm on the right track, and maybe get new ideas of fun things to try with her. What's your experience in the lifestyle? some random 26yo dom: It's instinctual to me and is the only thing I've ever done. I am a true Alpha Male. I am fine with talking to you, but I would have to ask what would be in it for me. I like the thought of taking a couple under My wing, but by that I mean truly under My wing. Default: Interesting, I'm not exactly sure what you're implying by truly under your wing, but I do know I would love to hear your advice and follow your guidance. As for what's in it for you, if you were local I would let you teach me by example with her, but I'm pretty clueless as to what we can offer just being online. I've realized dominance is like a missing puzzle piece for me in life, as she puts it, I have all the signs of being dominant and aggressive with her, but my overall attitude is more easy going and laid back. My biggest problem is coming up with meaningful rules, figuring out when and how to punish (she always has great excuses), and then the timing of when and where (we work opposite schedules and have two young kids). some random 26yo dom: Do you guys have skype? That's a start for Me. And then we could move forward from there.

DesFIP -> RE: am i jumping to conclusions? new to bdsm online (6/18/2014 9:22:14 PM)
Stick with your instincts. That "what's in it for me" is a sure sign that he isn't wanting to be helpful. He wants a cam show. Either ask your questions here on the boards, where you'll get lots of viewpoints and the two of you can decide what resonates with you. Or go join your local community, and make friends and ask questions there. Preferably do both. Seeing other people in action can be more helpful than just reading it. But again, there are lots of experienced people here who won't say their way is the only true way, or if they do everyone else will explain how wrong that is. Read the descriptions of the different forums and post where it's appropriate.

RockaRolla -> RE: am i jumping to conclusions? new to bdsm online (6/19/2014 10:47:05 AM)
The line about being instinctual and a "true Alpha male" tell me that he doesn't have a lot of experience and feels dominant because he resists authority on principle. Not exactly teacher material. The fact that you're giving him paragraphs on your situation and his responses are one line each, trying to steer the conversation to what he wants, is another red flag. The final red flag is him being so quick to get a Skype conversation out of you. In my experience this turns into sexy video chats. Quit feeding this guy and let him find a cam show elsewhere.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: am i jumping to conclusions? new to bdsm online (6/19/2014 10:58:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RockaRolla Quit feeding this guy and let him find a cam show elsewhere. This ^^^ Off course he's in it for a cam show. He doesn't know you or your partner, you're just a pair of strangers on a kink site. He doesn't owe you anything out of the goodness of his heart. And do remember that anything you do online with others can be accessed by anyone in the world with an internet connection. Connect with your local community, meet real people and develop friendships in person. Best of luck to you both.

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