Dating a Domme (Full Version)

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urneeds -> Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 9:59:35 AM)

I was hoping for some ideas to consider as far as taking a Domme out and pleasing her. I realize women have different needs, desires, etc. I also realize dommes often like to make the decisions. However, it seems like it would it be good to be able to invite a domme on a date that seemed exciting. Also, opinions on date behavior would be appreciated.



GoddessManko -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 10:04:43 AM)

LOL, we're not Martians. The BEST thing you can do is ASK HER and that you be satisfied with whatever her decision may be. Chances are the best scenario is a coffee shop to chat or dinner for a more romantic setting. Somewhere public yet quiet where you have a bit of privacy to allow the conversation to go in a direction where you can figure out if you are suited for each other. I usually know after the first meeting whether or not I like someone. The worst mistake an s can make is to think all D's are similar. We are all very different people so our hobbies, likes, dislikes are all over the spectrum.
At the end of the day we are individuals so expecting a D to be like a previous D, pro or not is the worst mistake a sub can make. Never presume, always begin with a blank slate.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 10:09:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: urneeds

I was hoping for some ideas to consider as far as taking a Domme out and pleasing her. I realize women have different needs, desires, etc.

A domme isn't any different from any other women.

quote:

ORIGINAL: urneeds
I also realize dommes often like to make the decisions.
Ummm... Isn't that why they are a "Domme"??? [sm=ofcourse.gif]

quote:

ORIGINAL: urneeds
However, it seems like it would it be good to be able to invite a domme on a date that seemed exciting. Also, opinions on date behavior would be appreciated.

It's very simple: Unless it's a business transaction, treat them as women first, fetish second - just like you would on any vanilla date.
Ain't rocket science [:)]



MasterCaneman -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 10:11:47 AM)

Speaking as someone who has dated a Domme before, here's some simple advice: take the woman out for a date, not her title. Treat is as you would any other date, be a gentleman, and unless she wishes to, leave the kink out of it. The reason I was able to take her out was that we both worked in the 'scene' (me at the club, she as a 'contractor' of sorts there), and it was nice to go out and be 'normal' for a change. What Goddess Manko said rings true, find out what she likes in the real world and shape the event around those expectations. And don't ever, ever forget that she's a person, not a title. Good luck.



MistressEsmeUK -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 10:16:55 AM)

I agree with others. We are women also so I don't see what the real difference is when it come's to a date.



KYsissy -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 11:05:07 AM)

Take her skydiving. All Dommes are adreneline junkies.
I read that on the internet somwhere.



urneeds -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 12:42:50 PM)

Thanks to everyone that took the time to reply.



DarkSteven -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 2:10:13 PM)

Flowers. And a smile, and conversation.



PeonForHer -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 3:48:50 PM)

I think it probably helps to ratchet up the 'gentlemanly' thing a bit with femdoms. Not too much - just a bit. Manners front and centre; but personality also at the fore. If you can do some humour to lighten things, do it. Listening skills also to be brushed up. They will want to know that you are keen to understand what makes them tick. Ask them stuff and think of what they say in response.

The main thing is still to make that all-important *human connection*, femdom or vanilla woman, regardless. In my opinion.

ETA: And don't cudgel yourself if you feel awkward and shy. It's *not* always easy. Malesubs will see a hint of the 'goddess' in females to whom they have an attraction. That's bound to make them feel at least a little uncomfortable in the presence of them. It doesn't matter. It looks charming, so I've heard.



thishereboi -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 3:54:37 PM)

The first time I took my ex out, I treated her like any other women I had ever dated for the first time. We went out to dinner and then went to a local bar and played darts. According to your profile you are 50 years old so I have to assume you have dated before. Do the same things you did then and have a good time.



thishereboi -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 3:56:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I think it probably helps to ratchet up the 'gentlemanly' thing a bit with femdoms. Not too much - just a bit. Manners front and centre; but personality also at the fore. If you can do some humour to lighten things, do it. Listening skills also to be brushed up. They will want to know that you are keen to understand what makes them tick. Ask them stuff and think of what they say in response.

The main thing is still to make that all-important *human connection*, femdom or vanilla woman, regardless. In my opinion.

ETA: And don't cudgel yourself if you feel awkward and shy. It's *not* always easy. Malesubs will see a hint of the 'goddess' in females to whom they have an attraction. That's bound to make them feel at least a little uncomfortable in the presence of them. It doesn't matter. It looks charming, so I've heard.



Good post Peon. You should write a book someday.

edited to add audio of course



PeonForHer -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 4:03:01 PM)

Thanks, THB. Actually, I *am* writing a book. It's about a serial killer who goes on the rampage in Bristol with a machine gun and shoots tons of women because he realises how much God is disappointed in their lack of morality and feminine virtue.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 4:10:27 PM)


I'm a dominant and I tend to take into account what a lady might like to do or where she might like to go.

Notice I said: " ... take into account ... " I strongly urge you not to go outside your comfort zone or even dance near any limits you might have, just to try to impress her.

Also remember that most first dates turn out to be Mongolian cluster-fucks. You don't want to spend a ton of scratch. I like a mid-afternoon coffee date on a day when both are off from work. That way, you're not "obligated" to more than 30 minutes or so but, if things go well, and you've been talking for a while, you can offer an early dinner.

At the end of the day, they're all just ladies. Start from there.







Screen captures still RULE! Ya feel me?



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/26/2014 6:14:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Thanks, THB. Actually, I *am* writing a book. It's about a serial killer who goes on the rampage in Bristol with a machine gun and shoots tons of women because he realises how much God is disappointed in their lack of morality and feminine virtue.


SLUTS!



SweetlySadistic1 -> RE: Dating a Domme (6/27/2014 1:03:26 AM)

Treat her like you would any woman on a first date. Date the woman & not the Domme, she's a woman first so treat her as such. I remember a man & I meeting for the first time at a picnic date in the park. I brought the picnic basket of goodies, and he brought a nice(not expensive) bottle of wine and some pretty roses. The roses are what did it for me. They were sweet, romantic and touched my heart.

SweetlySadistic1



Chrisp7135 -> RE: Dating a Domme (7/3/2014 8:33:19 PM)

On first dates, I try to find something we both will enjoy. That way, even if we don't connect the evening is still a pleasant one.

Ask her: does she like dining out? Going to a museum? Art? etc.

A play or movie isn't great, only in the sense that you don't get to chat much as it unfolds. Makes for a great 3rd date though.

I have met very few women who didn't appreciate manners and politeness.

Avoid saying things that make you sound like a serial killer("Wow. Your skin looks so....comfortable").

Don't drink too much alcohol.



Rheea -> RE: Dating a Domme (7/4/2014 8:03:41 PM)

You know.... most dommes are just like vanilla women, when it comes to dating and getting to know each other outside of kink. Your best bet is to ask her what she likes. She won't rip your head off or think you're stupid, unless she's already told you 3x and you still have to ask.



LadyPact -> RE: Dating a Domme (7/4/2014 8:58:14 PM)

Do you know what he did? He took Me on a real date....

If you want to win a woman's heart, do something that no one else does.



Gauge -> RE: Dating a Domme (7/4/2014 9:03:35 PM)

What the fuck ever happened to good old fashioned courtship?

Maybe I don't get it, but if you are going to take a woman on a date, even if she is Queen Princess Duchess of Uber Royalty, take her on a damn date. Dominant or not, if you can't have a good fucking time over and above the BDSM dynamic, why bother?



FieryOpal -> RE: Dating a Domme (7/7/2014 10:29:33 AM)

~ FR ~
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

What the fuck ever happened to good old fashioned courtship?

Maybe I don't get it, but if you are going to take a woman on a date, even if she is Queen Princess Duchess of Uber Royalty, take her on a damn date. Dominant or not, if you can't have a good fucking time over and above the BDSM dynamic, why bother?

I'm so glad to hear a man take a stand on this. Most of the time, you just get the equivalent of a deer-caught-in-headlights stare. Clueless.

Or else the ones who *get it* turn out to be players. Cheating married players.

And whatever you do, guys, don't ever ask a woman to "hang out" with you. That is so freaking juvenile. [8|]
(You might as well be wearing your baggy pants down to your knees, with your baseball cap in reverse.)



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