Poem - For everyone lost without their soulmate..this is "Hole"

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Poem - For everyone lost without their soulmate..this i... - 7/3/2014 4:52:03 AM

ArchangelDavid

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/2/2014
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The wind whistled through my hole today
A whisper to a roar
Smile patch on my soul away
The hole agape once more
Time's sands supposed to erode away
Pain lie to me once more
Furrow brow and steal the smile away
And rend the hole out more

No gentle breeze in my sails today
No hope of dreams secured
Not going anywhere anyway
No love lost or procured
I spin in my self-made eddy sway
Capsized. No sign of shore
When the sandman steals your dreams away
Forever's nevermore

Would trade my soul for a birds-eye perch
A chance to fill my role
For an omen of the woman I search
To fill my
Make me
(W)hole

< Message edited by ArchangelDavid -- 7/3/2014 5:02:08 AM >

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RE: Poem - For everyone lost without their soulmate..th... - 7/3/2014 5:22:22 PM

Marc2b

Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
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Damn. That's good. You've accomplished what a poem is supposed to do . . . capture a mood, an emotion. I especially like the line "Pain lie to me once more."

_____________________________

Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!

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RE: Poem - For everyone lost without their soulmate..th... - 10/22/2014 8:13:15 PM

ArchangelDavid

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/2/2014
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Thank you, marc2b. I'm very flattered. I enjoy reading your creative works, and would always appreciate feedback, both positive and negative. Negative in a constructive way can spur one to work harder at fine tuning their craft, and commentary could spark an idea for a new work that could appeal to the masses, or perhaps appease that one critic.
I'd be okay with "Dude, I thought that sucked, and here's why.." Some peebs wouldn't be, but my scales are pretty tough. I'd prefer that over 100 people reading it and Noone saying a word. To me, silence doesn't do much to spark the initiative to share more. It's not that I'm an attention whore. It's more like...well....an esprit de corps thing.
I'll be the first to admit that my writing gravitates to the dark, and is often eclectic or obtuse. Bleeding onto paper has been quite cathartic for me, and the objective of my sharing is to strike a chord with the reader. We've all been hurt. Some of us broken at one time or another. For some, it's difficult to put their pain into words. It would be my ultimate goal and highest compliment to hear someone say, "Hey, I've been there, and I couldn't have put it better." Why? Because maybe seeing their feelings on a screen can help the healing process, put their soul to rest a little, and allow that wound to scab over. That's why I share. Because I was broken, and it's okay. A mile down the road, and that scar is going to be lighter.

G'day all, and keep smacking fine asses....appreciatively, of course.
David

(in reply to Marc2b)

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