Well .. that was something..

Well .. that was something.. (Full Version)

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Likelylost -> Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 12:20:00 AM)
I have had the pleasure of serving a few select Mistresses (online for the most part.. I don't expose my submissive side in person very often) over the many years.. and I sorely enjoyed being at their beck and call. I remain good friends with all of them even though we have parted ways because of various changes (they got married, moved to a very different timezone, etc).. I have since tried Fetlife, and now Collarspace.. and I have to say I'm a bit disappointed. In the first 5 minutes I received over 10 messages from "doms" who wanted to instantly make me their "slave" if only I would add them to Skype or yahoo.. and although I am very much into performing for my Mistresses pleasure, its clear that these are pro doms simply fishing for another source of income, which I am not. A shared experience between a dom an a slave should happen the same way any good relationship happens.. a spark of mutual interest shrouded in sexual tension.. it should not begin with a dispassionate "worship me now!" invitation. When I heard about collarspace I was very excited.. fetlife is fine, but not as lively as I would have hoped. Seeing the breadth of beautiful, dominant woman on this site I was very eager to be a part of it. That said.. my first day here has not been what I had hoped. I sincerely hope that not all dom women here are "pro"s.. I absolutely long to tease, entertain and serve.. but it is hopefully a two way street .. and not a financial transaction. :( Please tell me its worth staying on this site.. that past the initial bevvy of professional solicitations exists a true BDSM culture to be explored?

Gauge -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 1:08:42 AM)
quote: I have had the pleasure of serving a few select Mistresses (online for the most part.. I don't expose my submissive side in person very often) over the many years.. and I sorely enjoyed being at their beck and call. I remain good friends with all of them even though we have parted ways because of various changes (they got married, moved to a very different timezone, etc).. I have since tried Fetlife, and now Collarspace.. and I have to say I'm a bit disappointed. In the first 5 minutes I received over 10 messages from "doms" who wanted to instantly make me their "slave" if only I would add them to Skype or yahoo.. and although I am very much into performing for my Mistresses pleasure, its clear that these are pro doms simply fishing for another source of income, which I am not. A shared experience between a dom an a slave should happen the same way any good relationship happens.. a spark of mutual interest shrouded in sexual tension.. it should not begin with a dispassionate "worship me now!" invitation. When I heard about collarspace I was very excited.. fetlife is fine, but not as lively as I would have hoped. Seeing the breadth of beautiful, dominant woman on this site I was very eager to be a part of it. That said.. my first day here has not been what I had hoped. I sincerely hope that not all dom women here are "pro"s.. I absolutely long to tease, entertain and serve.. but it is hopefully a two way street .. and not a financial transaction. :( Please tell me its worth staying on this site.. that past the initial bevvy of professional solicitations exists a true BDSM culture to be explored? Welcome to the forums. Now that the nice part is out of the way... Come on now, you cannot be that naive. This is a free site, there are plenty of scammers out there and those who would rather have you part with your money rather than your heart. The fact is that not everyone that you see is who they claim to be. Shocking, I know, being that this is the Internet, a bastion of integrity and goodwill, but there it is. You will get out of this site what you put into it, and so far, all you did was kind of stub your toe. That said, you will find that if you participate in the forums and give things a bit of a chance that you can weed through the ridiculous tripe from the purse princesses and find real people. It may also be suggested that you get involved in your local BDSM scene, meet people locally, face to face, so there really is no doubt then that they are real... with the caveat that not EVERYONE that you meet face to face is real either, but your percentage chances are much better overall. So, calm down a little bit, take a breath, and realize that this is the wrong way to make an impression. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.

DesFIP -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 2:42:59 AM)
Most dommes aren't interested in just watching you online. They would rather interact in person. Try meeting people and see if you click. If there's chemistry, if you like them as friends, if they impress you as someone you could trust to make decisions for you. Meet at a Starbucks or a local munch. But really, what do you think they get out of watching you online?

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 2:55:14 AM)
There's a lot of people here looking for a profit. You're a male sub and on the new user list so you will get a flurry of them to start with - it will die down a lot but probably never totally stop. Just delete the messages you don't like, and pro-actively look for profiles that are more to your taste. Now that said - your profile only mentions your kinks, and nothing about you as a person. To generalize wildly, women are usually interested in the whole package, not just the kink part. And (again, generally) women aren't that interested in online. So while I'm not saying you have to change your approach, be aware that you may be somewhat setting yourself up for mostly attracting pay-to-play folks.

DarkSteven -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 5:54:46 AM)
My girlfriend AthenaSurrenders is right. The vocabulary itself doesn't really make your profile different. Also, when you join, existing members are alerted to a new member. After you've been here a week or two, the deluge becomes a trickle. May I ask why you prefer online as opposed to real life?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 7:29:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven My girlfriend AthenaSurrenders is right. YOUR girlfriend? I thought she was MY girlfriend. Are you telling me that I've been her unwitting cuckold? Oh the horror! ;-)

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 7:34:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Likelylost I have had the pleasure of serving a few select Mistresses (online for the most part.. I don't expose my submissive side in person very often) over the many years. If all you've done is on-line, then some would argue that you've never actually served anyone. Why not get out there and actually serve a Domme live and in-person? I can assure you that it's much more rewarding/exciting/erotic/fun than play acting over a webcam. As they used to say on an old commercial, "Try it, you'll like it." quote: Please tell me its worth staying on this site.. that past the initial bevvy of professional solicitations exists a true BDSM culture to be explored? As others have said, you're going to be approached by scammers and "financial Dommes". It's just going to happen. Ignore them and focus on the people who interest you. Good luck.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 10:52:14 AM)
~FRing it~ You are new to the site, therefore you appear on the fresh meat...err...new user list....for a length of time. Might want to get used to it for the time being. It will slow down. You have been here for a mere 2 days...and you were expecting what exactly to happen in those 2 days? It does take time and patience to find a compatible partner. It's especially true in an online venue. Do you have realistic expectations...or are you seeing instant gratification? It's a free site. Therefore the potential for all types, including the types you don't particularly care for, is just going to happen. Might want to get used to it. They provide delete and block buttons for a reason. You can customize your experience to your liking this way. It actually beats getting all worked up over it. Is it worth it to be here? Only you can really answer that question for yourself.

PeonForHer -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 12:43:00 PM)
quote: There's a lot of people here looking for a profit. You're a male sub and on the new user list so you will get a flurry of them to start with - it will die down a lot but probably never totally stop. In my case it did totally stop - quite some while ago, in fact. All I get now is the occasional appearance on the 'Who's viewing me' page. A few seconds' look at their profile - if I can be bothered and if it's not already obvious - will determine whether or not they're bait 'n' switchers.

smitten77 -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 12:56:37 PM)
Welcome to CS... Do realize you are just a piece of fresh meat here at the moment... Accept it and deal with it... There are real Dommes here, did you expect them to just flock to you? You have to look for them, be patients, and eventually one will appreciate you for the slutty boy you are!!! You want to serve, you need to get on your knees and find the real ones. Cheers Smitten

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/5/2014 4:58:03 PM)
I'm not a pro. I'm also not into online sessions. quote: Please tell me its worth staying on this site.. You will need to decide this for yourself. If I had let annoying people chase me off during my first few days here I would have missed out on getting...exactly what I wanted. (I'll also admit that I closed out my account at least a dozen times due to burn out before I stayed.)

Asfixation -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/6/2014 11:53:37 AM)
your first day here? try your first ten years here..... need I say more

Likelylost -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/6/2014 3:27:34 PM)
Thanks all for your replies. I think some of you may have misunderstood the intention of the post. I'm not expecting or looking for anyone to flock to anything.. I've been around long enough to know an interesting connection takes time and the right person/mind. I've had a few good connections in my time. What I was looking for was signs of life ;) What I saw in the first 5 minutes was what appeared to be a site overburdened with "pros" or possibly bots of a commercial nature.. and this sent up the warning flags. The site could easily have had 20 active members and 2000 bots.. so I was curious to see if I got any actual responses in the forums. So that said, I'm glad to see live, interesting people. I'll continue to poke around. I apologise in advance for any errant poking.. I've had a couple of scotches this evening ;)

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/6/2014 3:52:04 PM)
OP, it's very possible to meet someone real and genuine here. I did, but it took 6 years to finally find him. It takes time and yes...there is all types including the types you spoke about here. Unfortunately you have to take the bad with the good

SlavingGrace79 -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/7/2014 1:25:30 AM)
Its always fun to poke..... poke poke BUT Shsss... don't wake me up cos then I'll want a smoke.... and I don't have one..

MistressEsmeUK -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/7/2014 1:55:15 AM)
The ones who contacted you are not pro's they are scammers so let's get that straight. I hate how the term Pro Dom gets tossed around.

Likelylost -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/7/2014 6:37:17 PM)
Ah yes well that's probably true. Totally unfair to lump the two together. Pro dom's have my respect.. they are usually top of their profession and put a ton of effort into their work. I know at least one long time friend who has gone that route and she is awesome. So tell me.. what kind of scams should I be watching for? The thing seems to be to invite people to Skype, yahoo.. or for some reason.. Teamviewer?

Marioneta -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/7/2014 9:57:02 PM)
I can't speak to Dommes reaching their polished nails into your pockets, OP, as I'm a queer women and neither financial scammers nor pros come my way. But I can speak to trying to find a Domme for online engagement through this site. Of course, I only interact with bisexual and lesbian women. So I face a different sort of scam: men who have created fake profiles to engage (queer) submissive women. Whether it's a woman trying to get into your wallet or a man trying to get into my pants, it all comes down to the same thing: saying you are looking for online acts as a beacon to the scum of CS. Scammers, users, liars, fakes, flakes.. It's ugly out there. Even the honest, genuine people are sometimes monsters because they've been messed around so much themselves. It's kind of a bad scene all around. I can't even count how many maybe-maybe-not-women have messed me about on this site. To reinterate: I beleive this situation is specific to those seeking online relationships. I can only image that you'd have to have better luck looking for a Domme who is seeking real-time.

missbrownjinx -> RE: Well .. that was something.. (7/10/2014 4:19:12 AM)
Another part time online perve who wants to get his rocks off for free...... I'm SO shocked yet again. [sm=jaw.gif] [sm=Groaner.gif]

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