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DarkSteven -> An ugly one. (7/7/2014 1:56:50 AM)
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We've all seen the clean, disciplinary spankings in the videos. We've done some play spankings. If we're lucky, some foreplay spankings.
Those are all nice spankings. Pretty spankings. The kind everyone likes.
A week ago, I gave Tasha one of the other ones. An ugly spanking. Nobody liked it, but it was necessary.
She'd been in a pissy mood. She'd gotten into a fight with our friend Tiffany that morning, and I had no clue why. After I calmed down Tiffany, I went to speak to Tasha. She didn't want to talk, didn't want to discuss, wanted to be left alone. A solid curtain of grey anger and misery, deliberately unreachable.
I gave up talking and snapped at her that she would be reporting to our bedroom for a spanking. She had ten minutes to get ready. She grumbled but broke off her activity and got ready and met me in the bedroom, and lay down on the bed.
I began with a flogger. I love using a flogger for play, and alternating between whacks and gentle strokes. Not today - I only used whacks, hard ones. After that, I stepped up to straps, and then to a Lexan paddle. She was holding rigid, not yielding an inch.
I started using canes. Wooden ones. Then a Delrin one. She was refusing to give. She hated the idea of giving in to me, giving in to herself, of acknowledging that she needed this. Stubborn and proud. And she's got one helluva pain tolerance, and has learned breathing tricks to be able to take more.
Wooden brushes. I normally avoid them because of the threat of leatherbutt, but I was determined here. Special occasion, and I'd be damned if I'd let her win. I was getting tired. I told her, "I want your tears. Give them to me." She gave me no response. At this point, she was an iron determination to not give in.
I began using rubber paddles. Hard rubber. Nobody else could have taken them and, had she not been in such a stubborn, I'm-not-going-to-break mood, she couldn't have taken them either.
Finally, I used the rubber tawse. Two strands of flexible rubber. It was a gift from our NZ friend Nic, who never quite understood the idea of a limited pain tolerance. Tasha had told me that it grabs onto the top layer of skin. She was bucking all over the bed now, still unbroken.
I was exhausted, using something I didn't even have any more, keeping going. She was at the verge of the tears she didn't want to give. We both kept going, working off reserves, until I finally gave.
I felt horrible. Raised not to hit a girl, and I had just inflicted on her nothing but unbroken, deliberate pain. I laid down next to her and told her I loved her, that I had done it because I needed to. And that did it. I didn't get tears from her, but she softened and gave herself up. She told me she loved me, and that she had needed that.
In mutual exhaustion, we held each other in very much needed aftercare.
We both hated it. And, unfortunately, we'll be doing it again some day.
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