FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
I don't know how you can non consensually degrade a slave/sub to be honest Fiery. When hard limits are broken is the only thing I can think of but everything else is fair game. That's kind of what they are offering, no? To suffer for the D's sake? Whether fnancially, masochistically, domestically, whatever. The reason I dislike financial domination is because of what some s types think it would imply rather than some sort of moral obligation....
A D is not going to be a pleaser in my book anyway, if that's what the sub was expecting. If he wants a pleaser, pay for services and he can get his itch scratched but either way, the sub plays by the D's rules or keeps it moving. I hardly think anyone would stop him.
Since I was specifically addressing Luke's post, and not every male sub generically, I'll explain in greater detail. But allow me to touch upon these points in your post from my personal perspective.
Not all submissives are masochists, so I don't agree that suffering is what male subs are offering. (Yes, we get tons of such verbiage daily in our mailboxes, but not everybody is into S&M or humiliation & punishment either.)
In fact, with my not being sadistic, I don't want a sub whose mentality is that by suffering, he is proving his *devotion* to me. Pf-fft.
(Besides, many of these newbies who've filled their minds with FemDom porn don't have the foggiest idea what *real* suffering consists of; these are the flakes who chicken out on meeting a sadistic Domme face to face.)
You and I don't share the same literary tastes, which is fine.  In my book, my sub partner is my mate in every sense of the word; therefore, it behooves me to ensure that I please him as much as he pleases me. I don't see this as a Dominance/submission function as much as I consider this is what couples who love one another do, as is within their combined power to make one another happy to the extent possible. Why would I want to willfully do what would make my sub unhappy with my being his Mistress?
Financial domination absolutely has to be a two-way street, not a ditch somebody has been "railroaded" into. One could argue we're all adults here, and responsible for making our own decisions. If nothing else, though, D/s & BDSM must abide by the irrefutable principle of fully informed consent; cutting corners here can have devastating results, the ripple effects of which impact us kinksters as a community of sorts. Newbies are like college freshmen pledges (who are also of the age of majority) ripe for the hazing by us senior classmen. Damaged goods don't do any of us any good.
Now, this is what Luke wrote:
"from a young age I have always wanted to please girls" -- Consistent with the earliest memories of natural-born male submissives.
"serving a girl i like to feel something on some level and something that has some sort of meaning...some sort of connection." -- He is seeking a meaningful relationship, an intimate level of connection.
"at some point if i was lucky enough to find the right dominant female, I would hope they would happily accept financial tributes, however i would not like this to be a necessity of any arrangement." -- Not only does he recognize how "lucky" he would be to find a Mistress, but he does not have a selfish, stingy spirit, nor is he seeking to be *forced* or coerced ("obligated") into proving his submissiveness. As a submissive male, it is second nature to him to be giving and to want to please his Domme.
"Many ask for a tribute up front before communication...." -- This is what I agree with Luke in taking exception to. There is NO consensual D/s relationship (pre-)dynamic which has gotten off the ground, whether by preliminary means, much less by conventional vanilla male-female screening standards. Until a tentative D/s dynamic has been consented to mutually at the very least, both parties are operating in a vacuum. A Domme is not his Dominant yet; A sub is not her submissive yet.
If this is a for-hire business arrangement, then this must be disclosed up front as well as the provider Domme's terms, so that fetish-kink "negotiations" can commence with the client.
This isn't what Luke wants, from what he has described. He isn't looking to casually get his itch scratched with No Strings Attached.
Where the non-consensual degradation enters into the picture, for example, is when (1) for-hire "Dommes" spam male subs with unsolicited instant-humiliation tactics, by name-calling (worthless piggies, lowly worms, pathetic slavedogs, dirty little bitch-whore-sluts, etc.) and/or (2) using the Bait & Switch of claiming to be a "lifestyle Domme," then getting the sub into a chatroom or even on webcam to "prove" their submissiveness by having them perform embarrassing & humiliating acts.
(GM, I have sub friends who have given me several accounts of feeling ashamed when they were newbies for getting suckered into doing degrading things for the amusement of so-called Dommes. This besmirches the reputation of all Dominant women.)
"I desire to actually like and value the individual i offer my submissiveness to rather then just offering it to any walking human of sufficient age with a vagina."
"i want my submission to be valuable and to give it to someone that really stands out not just anyone." -- If you will excuse my bluntness, He is not *just* a kinky sl-t.
[Edited for clarity]
< Message edited by FieryOpal -- 8/21/2014 3:57:23 PM >
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RE: Financial - 
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Start your own thread dude.
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