quote:

ORIGINAL: hiddendomme

Hi there,

I have a new sub and want to be able to make the relationship official. I was thinking of getting a necklace of some sort and giving it to them, something that they have to wear 24/7 but nothing that would stand out too much in their daily life.

I was just curious, how do well established dommes officiate a sub/domme relationship?

I am aware of contracts, which I find a bit too formal, although I may email the BDSM check list to them so that I have their likes/dislikes written down. This is my first official D/s relationship btw, just so you know.

Thank you, this is my first post so please be gentle!

NS

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

In addition to what MistressDarkArt has recommended, I would make the following suggestions, if you feel this would work for you and your new sub. (Congrats, btw!)

-- Decide on what pet name the both of you would think befitting your sub. You can always assign one yourself, but it's more exciting when this personalized "term of endearment" is mutually agreed upon.
(A little hint here: The sluttier-sounding, the better, unless he sees himself as more of a pet, then the more *frou-frou* sounding, the better. It should be short & sweet. If this weren't your first sub, I would advise against recycling one used previously with a former sub.)

-- Whether you go the more traditional route with how you want him to address you (Mistress, Lady, Ma'am, Madame [w/accent on "dame"], etc.), when in private and in your private messaging, I would advise that you come up with an honorific for yourself, if you haven't already done so. You may consider this superfluous, but believe me, it helps keep your sub in a subbly headspace.

-- Optional, and it's a male sub friend who suggested that enforcing a routine gesture, such as calling or texting you at a specified time or times daily, gives him great satisfaction with his Mistress of nearly a decade. In his particular case, he is required to send her a 6am e-mail, and you can adapt this accordingly to what fits best with your schedule and/or around your sub's work schedule.

-- Assign him a (non-humiliating, unless he wishes otherwise) subbly color. He is to wear this color on certain occasions, you can surprise him by buying him underwear in this color if practical (men usually detest to have to buy their own underwear), have him use this color font in his messages to you, etc.

-- Whatever ideas you (and your sub) can come up with to symbolize the special intimacy you share with one another and with no one else, as with any other intimate relationship dynamic, the closer it will help you both to bond.

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

Your mind is devious