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always surprises - 8/12/2014 8:41:48 AM   
johnsk


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline 		I am amazed that when I message someone on here with whom I feel there is a lot of common ground, I get no response at all. Not even a "no thanks, I want someone younger, or good luck, you are too far away," or SOMETHING. Not a single word. What is that all about ??

Happens time and time again. Make me realize that some people are not on the level or are here just for kicks. Oh we...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 9:50:01 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		You're 62, and that's your take?

1) women get FLOODED with email here. It's not their responsibility to respond to every stranger who contacts them.
2) get over yourself -- consider them automatically screened out without you having to take further action.
3) OF COURSE a lot of profiles are not on the level. Did you think that there's 100s of 25 year olds near you looking to be no limit slaves? Use your head, and look for real people who talk about real things, not just kink.
4) you're a sub male -- that makes you a market prospect, and part of that reality is sorting through what you don't want.
5) it's a free site...you get all kinds. Even on paid sites, it's like fleas on dogs.
6) But if you share who you really are, beyond your kink, and look for a good fit, and are patient and understanding, there are real folks here--and nice.

Off here, in the real world, I get hundreds of emails a day. Every day. if I answered them all, I'd never get anything else done.

If I know them, or if they have something genuinely of interest, I engage. Otherwise, I get on with my day.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 10:19:25 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Um, yeah...what Musicmystery said. Couldn't have said it any better

I'll be honest, if I stumbled across your profile...it wouldn't interest me. All you want me to be is an occasional spanker who gets rewarded with dinner. Plus your journal is non-stop negativity and whining. One thing I really don't like is being around someone who is negative and likes to complain all the time. It sucks the life out of a person who is stuck having to listen to it.

Just saying

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 8/12/2014 10:23:56 AM >

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 10:19:49 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Your profile says you want to be spanked. Nothing else about you, not even a picture of you. And you don't want to pay but you're willing to buy dinner in return.

That's insulting to a woman. If she's a pro, she'll charge $200 an hour to spank you. And if she's not a pro, she'll expect more out of you than a dinner - she'll want a friendship. By offering dinner, you to my mind are setting this up as a quid pro quo, and hinting that that will be the extent of things - dinner and a spanking, nothing more.

I just spanked a woman for the first time Sunday night. She saw me spank my sub three months ago, and was frightened because I gave Tasha a pretty hard session. But she liked chatting with Tasha and myself and we talked about all sorts of stuff. She always liked bees and we talked about them since I keep two hives out back. I checked in with her when I saw her status changed and she was no longer protected by one man and was being considered by another. I heard of a place looking for employees, and checked with her and her Dom to see if it would make sense for her. Even though I didn't expect to play with her, I liked talking with her and kept doing it. Saturday, her Dom told me that I would be playing with her, and Sunday I gave her a gentle spanking with lots of talk and kidding around. I got a friendship and regular spanking partner out of this.

I started chatting with another woman about five months ago. She met me or a dinner, and we talked. We've texted and talked since. She wants a boyfriend and I've racked my brain trying to think of a good match for her. I honestly don't think I'll ever spank her, but it could happen.

One secret about women - if they like talking with you, they will be open to playing with you. Start talking with them. Do favors for them and, if they're in a position to offer advice, ask for it. Seeing as you're 62, you should be able to offer as well.

Also... your post above whines. Your other posts whine. Your journal entries whine. Cut it out.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 10:23:42 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Also... have you checked out Margaret Davis' SCONY parties? Boardwalk Badness Weekend? Other spanking parties close by? They're great places to make contacts, meet people, and maybe connect.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 10:33:19 AM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		I agree with everything Musicmystery said and I'll add, all of your journals are complaints. Complaining about people not replying to messages, about fin dommes, about people on here that you say are insincere and dysfunctional. One journal about it, yeah ok but 5 or 6 journals complaining of the same thing over and over again is IMO unnecessary drama.

If I were looking for a partner be it for a serious relationship or casual play and saw a profile with so many complaints, I'd pass that person right by because I hate drama and negativity but that's what I would see.

No one is obligated to reply to anyone, no one owes anyone here anything. When you don't get a reply, let it go and move on.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 11:10:06 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

I am amazed that when I message someone on here with whom I feel there is a lot of common ground, I get no response at all. Not even a "no thanks, I want someone younger, or good luck, you are too far away," or SOMETHING. Not a single word. What is that all about ??

No response IS a response. Perhaps they read your forum posts or journal entries and all that whining led them to the conclusion that nothing good could come from responding to your email, so they don't. Maybe work on not being such a Negative Nancy and things will happen differently in the future? Just a thought.



_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 11:40:03 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		In addition to what the others have advised and suggested, let me tell you what my response would be to a message from you. First of all, you would go right into my Bulk (spam) Mail folder because you do not fit my filtering parameters.

It is only because I have a couple of pals whose messages also get sent to Bulk instead of my Inbox, that I bother to check there.
IF a person has shown he has taken the time to read through my profile by addressing me by the key words I have specified in my profile (instead of just trawling around for nekkid pics), I will eventually send him a response.
(I can tell by hovering over the message without opening it. No key words and/or intro approach is crass, overtly kinky-sexual, obviously a form letter w/no personalization -- Don't expect a response. YOU were too lazy to do your homework, fella.)

Do you really want to hear what you should already have enough common sense to know? Chances are you don't and will send back a nasty reply to any woman who *rejects* you. Namely, this:

-- You are well over my age range. Would you be pursuing or consider a 72-year-old Domme who was 10 years older than you are?
What makes you think you should be an exception? (Just like every other male sub/slave who contacts us.)
-- You are GUD-Geographically UnDesirable. My profile clearly states I do not do long-distance/relocation scenarios and am only interested IRT nearby.
(Do you really need me to inform you that Rome NY is not local to me in MD?)

Although classified as a sub, your profile starts off by saying you are a switch. I personally do not have an issue with this in itself, but many Dominant women do not want a male switch partner. I'll tell you why, since your profile is the classic Domme turn-off:

a. Not only are you not a sub and NOT seeking a D/s relationship dynamic, you lead by making it plain as day that you are a spanking sl-ut bottom looking for a spanking Top.
b. Although you say you are not expecting sex, the sole interest you express is in finding another kinky play partner.
c. From my PoV, putting a man over my knee and spanking his bare ass IS a physically intimate act. You should be so lucky that I would find your butt spankable.
d. No way in effing hell are you or any other spankee getting a (free or bartered dinner) 45-50+min. spanking session out of me. WTF?
It's boring as hell after the first 5-10 minutes, and why should I hurt my hand/arm/shoulder, even with a wooden hairbrush or paddle?
You want intensive, lengthy impact play, get off your cheap ass and pay for it because you have no sub relationship value.

Not to mention I only do ass play with an owned, collared sub with whom I'm in a committed, intimate LTR, nor do I accept oral worship from just any guy, nor would I want a sub who wasn't fully functional sexually.
You don't say this about yourself, but let me give you a helpful hint--In my experience as a Sensual Domina, this is a common, UNDESIRABLE formula I find most prevalent in unacceptable sub candidates:
Non-Sensual Sub/*DO-ME*Kinky Bottom + BDSM and/or Rough(Receiving)Sex-Play[+/-Oral Worship] = SPH(Small Penis Humiliation or some other form of sexual humiliation) and/or [partial or semi-]Impotence ~/= Lousy Lover

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 12:17:24 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Of all the times I've broken down, decided to be "nice" and send a message explaining why I'm not interested, it was never the end of the conversation. Not one of the recipients decided to leave it at that and move on. Instead they tried to negotiate with me.

"Oh, I don't live THAT far away."
"It's okay, you don't HAVE to be with both of us. Just pick one!"
"But the age difference excites me!"
"We don't need to have TPE. Nevermind that I'm a Master and I just told you I need a live-in slave."
"I still think we can have fun."
Or my favorite, "I'd like to be friends instead!" except they try their luck again not five messages later.

Now imagine several of these responses in one day. Having to explain to several horny guys that no, I won't get involved with you and I won't change my mind, gets tiring.

You are not entitled to a response simply because you sent a message. I am not "here for kicks" simply because I chose not to respond to you*. I choose to save my energy for someone else instead.




*Generally speaking. OP never messaged me directly.

< Message edited by RockaRolla -- 8/12/2014 12:20:57 PM >

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 12:32:12 PM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline 		OK here goes, johnsk

Your profile is so fucked up, selfish and sexist that women don't want anything to do with you.

1) A Domme's mailbox is for HER convenience. She can answer or ignore any letter she wants to, and she is under no obligation to reply to anything. It doesn't make her a fake because she doesn't live up to your expectations.

2) You are so fixated on being spanked that it sounds like a typical horny wanker's profile.

3) Oh wow, you will buy a gift card or take her to dinner for spanking you!!! I can hear the Dommes collectively swooning right now. That's right, because it's all about you. I notice how you don't consider being of actual service to her or anything. Hint, service means doing something she wants done, not dictating the way in which you will "pay" her for the spanking. You're coming off the like the kind of guy who expects a blow job on a first date after a taking a lady to dinner at some shitty restaurant.

4) These 19 and 20 year old Dommes who call men pigs/piggies are because a) they are speaking to the humiliation crowd who LOVE being called piggies and b) are exposed to guys who sound like you—hundreds of them. Your journal says, "Fuck them." You aren't the fucking judge and jury on how people should speak, your attitude is arrogant and shitty. Please say that the 19 years olds aren't the ones you are wanting to write to, because if so, I can tell you now, no 20 year old wants to see your 62 year old ass cheeks.

5) People who suddenly lose interest and quit talking to you aren't necessarily fake. They simply don't like you and what you have to say.

6) Those profiles without a ton of info have every right to be there. Ever consider it's someone curious who is just looking around, or maybe she doesn't want to deal with some self obsessed spanko like you?

Essentially, you want to dominate the situation. Everything is according to your wishes and anyone who doesn't do as you think they should is a fake or "not a human being". What's funny is that you never seem to consider that you are the problem as opposed to all of the Dommes. I wouldn't bother with a reply either. There's no point in it. Your profile makes you sound like an asshole- a giant one.

_____________________________

Mistress Rage
~outRAGEous~

I don't always return to a thread. It's usually best to message your replies directly to me.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 12:35:06 PM   
kinksterparty


Posts: 89
Joined: 4/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Also... have you checked out Margaret Davis' SCONY parties? Boardwalk Badness Weekend? Other spanking parties close by? They're great places to make contacts, meet people, and maybe connect.


DarkSteven, THANK YOU for the SCONY tip! Never seen it mentioned before, just applied to the group. :)

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: always surprises - 8/12/2014 6:02:38 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

I am amazed that when I message someone on here with whom I feel there is a lot of common ground, I get no response at all. Not even a "no thanks, I want someone younger, or good luck, you are too far away," or SOMETHING. Not a single word. What is that all about ??

Happens time and time again. Make me realize that some people are not on the level or are here just for kicks. Oh we...



What always surprises me is when someone says that something happens to them over and over and they don't seem to connect themselves to that outcome at all.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: always surprises - 8/13/2014 12:05:12 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You may think that there's a lot of commonality but your profile tells nothing about you, so no one else is going to think they have anything in common.

We get it, you want a fine looking lady to paddle your ass. But what does she get out of it?

A dinner with someone she has nothing in common with and with whom there will be no topic of conversation. A person moreover who is totally negative and no fun to be with.

The reason women don't write back saying no thanks is that guys like you, with entitlement issues, react badly. The nicest thing they ever say is "Your(sic) too fat to fuck", the really nasty responses include long and detailed death threats detailing how he plans to carve you up. Because no one enjoys getting those kinds of email, we recommend not responding. But really op, when you write a stranger it is no difference than getting a credit card offer in the mail. It's unsolicited. So if you don't write back telling the credit card company no thanks, don't complain about people not doing it to you.

Now it is possible that in real life you're a warm and funny guy who people enjoy being with, who has hobbies he loves to share with others, and who is upbeat. If so, your profile doesn't reflect that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: always surprises - 8/13/2014 12:34:57 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Now it is possible that in real life you're a warm and funny guy who people enjoy being with, who has hobbies he loves to share with others, and who is upbeat. If so, your profile doesn't reflect that.


Actually, when I read his profile, I get the distinct impression he's hiding something. No pics, no personal info except that he's semi-retired. Even though he says he's divorced and unattached, he makes it clear that he's not up for a relationship.

Why?

A 62 year old man should have plenty of interest from women fifty and up, if he's available. He makes it very clear that this will a play-only relationship, and that just says there's a vanilla wife to me.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: always surprises - 8/14/2014 8:43:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I agree, and I think he's just as nasty in real life as he is online. But in the hopes of avoiding a nastygram from him, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

OP. talk to your wife. In exchange for you taking out the garbage without complaining, maybe she'll paddle your ass.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: always surprises - 9/6/2015 9:05:48 PM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		Whoo hoo! Gift cards!! Dinner!! All that just for spanking your flabby 65 year old ass cheeks!!

What is wrong with the folks on here? Who could pass that up?

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: always surprises - 9/7/2015 8:13:03 AM   
thompsonx


Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: masmiss

Whoo hoo! Gift cards!! Dinner!! All that just for spanking your flabby 65 year old ass cheeks!!

What is wrong with the folks on here? Who could pass that up?


It would be difficult but I could pass it up.

(in reply to masmiss)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: always surprises - 9/8/2015 2:18:21 PM   
LaLaLeft


Posts: 5
Joined: 7/21/2015
Status: offline 		This is what "no thank you" gets in return.

quote:

LOL YOURE AN UGLY OLD VANILLA DIRTY DOUCHE BAG CUNT. GET THE FUCK OFF THIS SITE AND GO THE FUCK BACK TO OLDUGLYFILTHYCUNTVANILLAPIG.COM DO US ALL A FAVOR!!!!!! YOURE NOTHING BUT A CLOSETED DYKE!!!!!!! YUR FOUL DUMB CUNT PIC IS PROOF OF THIS!!!

NO SUB LADY WOULD EVER EVEN THINK OF ROLLING AROUND ON AN ALL BLACK HARLEY!!! EXCEPT WHO YOU REALLY ARE YA HIDEOUS DYKE!!! ALSO, STOP TRYING TO PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HONEST DOMS HERE, YOURE A FUCKING RUDE DISRESPECTFUL CUNT!! NO WONDER YOU CANT MEET A MAN YOU LIKE, YOURE GAY YA DUMB UGLY CUNT!!!!!!

POST THIS ON YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BITCH!

(in reply to thompsonx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: always surprises - 9/8/2015 2:45:11 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

I am amazed that when I message someone on here with whom I feel there is a lot of common ground, I get no response at all. Not even a "no thanks, I want someone younger, or good luck, you are too far away," or SOMETHING. Not a single word. What is that all about ??

Happens time and time again. Make me realize that some people are not on the level or are here just for kicks. Oh we...


Do you have any idea how many messages a day some Dommes get? If all you are saying is hi, which a lot of subs do, I make clear in my profile I won't respond to that. I truly don't have time to respond to 50+ messages that:

1. Doesn't match what I'm looking for.
2. Can't be bothered to read my profile
3. Can't be bothered to write something of substance that shows they read my profile. Or
4. They are married and only seek a service that they don't want to pay a Pro Domme to provide.

No response does not make someone a fake or a player. It simply means we just don't have the time to explain to you what you should already know from reading a profile.


_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: always surprises - 9/8/2015 2:52:01 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaLaLeft

This is what "no thank you" gets in return.

quote:

LOL YOURE AN UGLY OLD VANILLA DIRTY DOUCHE BAG CUNT. GET THE FUCK OFF THIS SITE AND GO THE FUCK BACK TO OLDUGLYFILTHYCUNTVANILLAPIG.COM DO US ALL A FAVOR!!!!!! YOURE NOTHING BUT A CLOSETED DYKE!!!!!!! YUR FOUL DUMB CUNT PIC IS PROOF OF THIS!!!

NO SUB LADY WOULD EVER EVEN THINK OF ROLLING AROUND ON AN ALL BLACK HARLEY!!! EXCEPT WHO YOU REALLY ARE YA HIDEOUS DYKE!!! ALSO, STOP TRYING TO PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HONEST DOMS HERE, YOURE A FUCKING RUDE DISRESPECTFUL CUNT!! NO WONDER YOU CANT MEET A MAN YOU LIKE, YOURE GAY YA DUMB UGLY CUNT!!!!!!

POST THIS ON YOUR FUCKING PROFILE BITCH!



What a charmer! He sounds fantastic, but after viewing your profile, it appears that he is blind.

(in reply to LaLaLeft)
Profile   Post #: 20
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