How should first contact be made ?

How should first contact be made ? (Full Version)

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wildnhard -> How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 9:49:44 AM)
Hello seeking ones. Pets, and Curious ones. What is the best way for a perpectie Dom to approach you. Should he approach as Dom or should he break the ice first and be cool and laid back I have not used this site much and am experimenting here. Any advice is appreciated and respected.

juliaoceania -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 10:10:21 AM)
I think different submissives/slaves have different opinions about how they like to be approached, but I can tell you some very general things we do not like... 1) we do not like dick pics 2) we do not like form letter emails, canned emails, long winded emails 3) we do not like to be ordered around with things like "get on your knees bitch and email me back rigth away or I will know you are not really a submissive" 4)we do not like to be asked for naked pictures or if we have a webcam you can see Other than that, as far as first contact most of the submissives I have read on here like what I like.. which is a sincere, mid-length email that tells us what you found interesting about us from our profile, why you think you would like to get to know us better based on our profile, and a little something about yourself, especially common interests you think we may share with you... and not the sexual ones... unless that is what the sub's profile seems to focus on. After that I think it is really an individual thing about how fast or slow a person wants to move to any next level.. you will have to email them a few times to find out most likely... Good luck!

justheather -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 10:14:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wildnhard Hello seeking ones. Pets, and Curious ones. What is the best way for a perpectie Dom to approach you. Should he approach as Dom or should he break the ice first and be cool and laid back I have not used this site much and am experimenting here. Any advice is appreciated and respected. Hi and welcome. Usually the people who post on the boards, aka "this side", tend to get to know one another through contact on the boards...reading one another's posts and getting a feel for who someone is as a person. Eventually, like-minded people end up conversing "on the other side" or by other means and viola... Id have to advise against putting on a certain sort of persona in order to approach subs here (they tend to be pretty clever) but rather just be yourself and let the interaction take shape as it occurs...as a living moment as opposed to an attempted pick-up. If you are really motivated, there are plenty of archived threads where people complain about how they DON'T want to be approached. Good luck. heather ps one bit of advice would be to slow down on the typing and proof read - I have no idea what "perpectie" means (neither does Google) but Im thinking you meant "prospective".

Tikkiee -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 10:15:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wildnhard Hello seeking ones. Pets, and Curious ones. What is the best way for a perpectie Dom to approach you. Should he approach as Dom or should he break the ice first and be cool and laid back I have not used this site much and am experimenting here. Any advice is appreciated and respected. Along with what Julia said that most do not like, I would hazard a guess that the best way to approach another is no different than you would in any kind of situation. Approach them as a person, get to know them, find out if you have similiar interests, and go from there.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 10:24:37 AM)
I personally liked to be approached as a person first. I have feelings and interests and do not like the same things that Julia listed. Don't call me names unless our relationship has evolved where that is appropriate which for me is not until i know You more than just hello. If You wish to be respected treat me with respect and i will take the time to listen and who knows perhaps eventually allow choose to obey. Those are ways i wish to be approaced. Each sub/slave is different in some manner however from what i have read in the forums and having chatted with several sub/slave rt friends i think most of us need the respect in order for a relationship to form that will allow bdsm practice.

sleazybutterfly -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 11:10:27 AM)
I pretty much concur with all of the above. It's best to probably not have the first words of the conversation be "How are you c u n t?" or something to that effect. This will probably make the sub/slave hit the block/ignore button in record time.. with an exasperated smirk. I used to think it had to be the Dom role from the beginning..but now I am more into someone getting to know me as a person, my interests and such to see what we have in common out of the "play room". Just show them the same respect that you would like in return. If you do that, things will eventually fall into place for you. Welcome and good luck. Respectfully, Andrea

subedana -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 11:13:27 AM)
I like to be spoken to like a lady first. After all I still am one. I may be a slave and submissive but I am not your slave. Kneel Bitch is a sure fire way to be blocked and deleted. Other than that it's all good.

littleone35 -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 1:16:16 PM)
I have to agree with the others just be yourself we will know you are a Dom when we look at your profile. Don't just tell us all about yourself refer to something in our profile that caught your interest so we know you actually read it. Just like vanilla get to know a sub/slave as a person first then get into the D/s stuff. That is what happened with my Master and myself. Matt's littleone

OsideGirl -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 1:34:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly It's best to probably not have the first words of the conversation be "How are you c u n t?" or something to that effect. Sounds like you got the same email I did. [;)] One of my pet peeves. Don't send me an email telling me what you're going to do to me, or detailing your sexual prowess. I know WHAT you think you are, but I'm more interested in WHO you are. We can have everything in common sexually, but the fact of the matter is that I may not like you as a person. Same goes the other way. Make an attempt to know who I am as a person, because it shapes what I am in my relationships.

shyfem -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 4:23:33 PM)
I concur, I do not want to be approached with demands or anything like the things listed above. To me this is not dominant behavior but more simply, rude. If I am treated like a person with feelings from the get go, I am more likely to develop the respect that it takes to be in a D/s relationship. I like the way that subedana put it, you can replace slave with sub (vice versa) as it fits for your needs, but I think many of us feel this way. quote: ORIGINAL: subedana I may be a slave and submissive but I am not your slave. ~shy --------------------------------------------- May all who tread here find what they seek!

kendrakendra -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 4:31:05 PM)
I agree with what has been said --- Please say more than hello in the first e-mail, but remember I am a person. As I have heard it explained -- pretend you are at a party & want to meet someone and you can't really go wrong.

yumyi -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 5:08:14 PM)
I prefer to be approached in person. The best way someone can get to know me... if they only see my profile online... is to ask about local events. (But do your research a bit first.... I hate getting "so what do I wear to a munch?" emails...) Once I tell someone where I'll be at a local event (munch, party, flea market, workshop, whatever...) - then come and meet me at one. Dont haunt me. Come over, introduce yourself, smile, and then read my body language. If I'm working the event or busy - then just slip off.. talk to other people, and come talk to me later. If I'm clearly free and looking to talk... be polite, but show me that you're interested in getting to know me better. Dont bring up "so what are you?" or "I'm a top, looking for a bottom" or "so, are you collared?".. just talk to me. All of the details of our relationship preferences and orientations can come up in time. It's not a race. Approaching me online.... I'm going to be 10x harder on you than I would be in person... just because of the amount of jerks online (as you've figured out from the above replies....) Therefore - approaching me in person is a LOT more condusive that we'll actually get to spend some time getting to know one another. Oh.. and dont IM me.... I hate getting random IM's... I'm always busy when I'm online, and folks just dont seem to realize that I dont sit around waiting for random strangers to message me.. LOL

jonathan -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 6:18:09 PM)
Yet another thread that the boys appear to have no interest in. Shame. When i saw the subject in my notification e-mail, it looked interesting, as i have some experience, good and bad, with this. Yes, despite all the complaining you may have seen, Dominant Women do approach submissive men. All of the ones who contacted me first eventually proved to be incompatible, for much the same reasons as those juliaoceania lists. Neither Dommes nor subs worth their salt, IMHO, are totally focused on the sexual. If they are, they already have something else or are missing out on the best parts. General advice reiterated, for anyone contacting anybody, read and study the profile and interests and respond in a manner that is complimentary, and complementary, to both. And be brutally honest. my recent experience shows that this can work, it just may take a while. Maybe a long while.

leakylee -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 9:09:38 PM)
I completely agree with what everyone else has said. The only thing that I will add, and this was a new one for me today. Was that I dont need pictorial references explaining said wishes and or desires. Oh, that was just wrong. Not something that you want to open up at 6:30 in the morning.. hehe...

Lordandmaster -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 9:12:27 PM)
Just be yourself. If that doesn't work, the relationship isn't going to work anyway.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 10:03:47 PM)
Well, I know this is ask a sub, but as a Domme who has ben doing this for a while, I know I get a lot more interest when I am polite and friendly during first contact. Until you get to know a sub, expecting them to react well to name calling, commands and things like that sets you up for failure. Think of it this way... how would you want to be addressed if they were contacting you for the first time. With the possible exception of a term of endearment, like little one or sweetie... make it somethig youd want to recieve. Has worked for me, at least. DV

babysburnin -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 11:37:52 PM)
In 49 years you haven't learned how to "play well with others"?

tangldupinblue -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/11/2006 11:53:07 PM)
just rememebr that because you own a computer that doesnt make you an instant master, time, trust and manners go a long way. blue

mymasterssub69 -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/12/2006 3:58:19 AM)
a friendly note or message is nice introducing yourself but don't start listing your demands and/or expectations right away ...get to know your potential sub/slave

wildnhard -> RE: How should first contact be made ? (7/25/2006 6:44:19 AM)
Thanks for the comments ladies To be polite and curious about what the submissives desire in an Alpha male or Dominant male is in my opinon a show of weakness and should not be taken as such. I am not the kind of Dom that would play " Get on your knees" well at least until I know them better LOL When I am with the company of any woman , and I choose to allow them to service me lol, I slowly but surely take them there. I am guilty of sending the quick messages here. I should take more time and email, I appreciate the input [;)]

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