FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If he didn't have my back, and didn't want me to have his, then why would we be together?
This is a full on relationship, not just fwb or fuck buddies. We owe each other this in order to keep the relationship strong.
Frankly, I can't see an optimal D/s relationship working any other way. Call it soft-wiring or whatever, but anything less than being totally committed as a couple to the greater good of the unit shows lack of dedication, devotion and most critically--loyalty. After all, what is ownership without loyalty? Merely paying lip service or living in charade-like pretense. Even close, abiding (stand-alone) friendships contain those bonding elements. For that matter, so does housepet ownership.
quote:
So yes, I've dragged him to the doctor and he's done the same to me.
There do seem to be many in this lifestyle who get caught up in the trappings of being the D-type or being the s-type and lose sight of the fact that an interdependent relationship is...interdependent, as opposed to co-dependent. Of course, I'm referring to committed, intimate relationships where both partners work as a team, not casual liaisons and play "arrangements" where one party may not have a vested interest (or just a transitory one) in the other party's overall well-being, welfare and state of wellfullness (or may not feel it's appropriate). If a man wants to conduct himself like an island unto himself, and keeps offering resistance, then he should live alone and may not be fit to be responsible for caring for another in either a Dominant or submissive (serving) capacity.
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Weight loss is tricky. If you aren't trained in the field, you can cause all kinds of problems. It's one of those things that you do best to hand off to a professional. Exercising together, sure. Having them keep a food diary, also a good idea. But deciding that you can tell them what they can and can't eat and when can easily backfire and fail, which leaves you feeling incompetent and can lead the sub to having resentments.
Having experience helping two loved ones manage their diabetes, I can tell you that trying to *deprive* diabetics of their "treats" will only backfire on you. They will find a way to stash goodies all over the place and then binge until they literally make themselves ill. It's better for them to feel rewarded with a forbidden treat now and then. You can't help a person who doesn't take their health seriously and doesn't genuinely want, or doesn't feel they have the willpower, to help themselves. It's a no-win, adversarial situation where you will eventually end up coming out as the bad guy despite the best of intentions.
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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RE: Doms and Dommes, What social responsibilities to th... - 
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