RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun?

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RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/16/2006 7:52:41 PM

maybemaybenot

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tracie:

Much of what needed to be said has already been said by others.

You seem fixated on the " fake Doms/Masters" that you have *heard* about or had some sort of contact with.
Have you ever gone out and gone to a munch ? A fetish Flea/Ball ? Any public event whose theme is BDSM ?
I have met many a Dominant that was not my cup of tea. Many whose philosphy and ideas were different than mine. Hell, I wound up in a D/s relationship in which he and I got stuck on a certain issue and could not reach a mutual commonground. These men were not fakes, nor abusive. They were not compatable with me. Or I with them, depending on your perspective.
My point being, if you are depending on the internet or a telephone conversations to get an idea of what is *real*, you are in for a very long and frustrating journey. Yes, there are many out here who are *real*, but for each *real* one there are probably 100 idiots with no idea of anything more than there own fantasy fulfillment.
You seem to have alot of rules that you want your Master to follow, in order to recieve the gift of your servitude.
Here is the trick: You don't make up all kinds of rules and give said Master an ultimatum. You go out and meet them. Just like a date. You have conversations, just like you would with a * regular* guy. You ask questions, and decide if the answers are compatable with your agenda. You talk to him about subjects other than mutual kink.
Example : Punctuality is something that is important to you. Nothing wrong with that. If you have a meet or date and he is late, talk to him about it. Ask him if he has a tendency to fly by the seat of his pants or if this was something out of the ordinary. If he is on time and punctuality is one of your markers, tell him that you appreciate him being on time and that it tardiness is one of your little quirks. See where the conversation leads.
Look on the process as an interview... a long one. Get to know the person, his values, his morals, his interests < non BDSM >, his approach to problems and problem solving.. I could go on and on.. but I think you get the picture.

Just because one is Dominant or a Master does not mean that you as a slave are the right fit for them, or they for you. It's a human connection first and foremost. < well for me anyway, others may see differently>

mbmbn

< Message edited by maybemaybenot -- 7/16/2006 7:55:36 PM >

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RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/16/2006 9:39:26 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: devotednhappy

Dear Sinergy,

Understand Your words and yes it is time comsuming but for a slave well a greedy one like this slave girl. It's fun from time to time to get extra attention. she is a very devoted and loyal slave and there are times she she feels unnoticed. and when this slave girl is tightly controlled at times she does feel loved and protected. It is an odd feeling and as a Dominant You may not understand it but it is the joy of total and utter release of control. To float and worry about nothing because Master has control of it. It allows this slave girl to go and do without fear of hurt or reprisal. It is bliss. she is doing exactly what her Master wants her to do and it gives her joy to do only what and how He wants her to do it.

Well, hope You can have some understanding now why subordinate may like it. However, this slave girl understands Your perspective as well.

Have a good day!

Sincerely,
tracie

Thank you for your response, tracie.

I understand that some people really enjoy it. I can even understand why they enjoy it. I was simply posting to state
my personal opinion on it.

I want to state that my opinion on it may be rather jaundiced.

Good luck finding what you seek :)

Sinergy

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RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/17/2006 8:11:07 AM

LeatherBentOne

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Agrees with Caretakr. You sound like the Master you seek. Get yourself out of the picture; it's not about what you want but about what pleases your Master. That's what submission is all about ~ not me, myself and I.

More than your average Bitch,
LeatherBentOne

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RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/17/2006 8:23:52 AM

JessieMe

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Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: devotednhappy

That's my take on it and it's what i'm hearing from other subs and slaves. Many settle for abusive situations because of their lack of self respect and settling for unhealthy situations but many hate being so abused and misused in a"un-mutually benefical manner" most of us just want to love, serve, obey, and have some good nasty kinky fun!

If this were true.. my question is.. why did they put themselves in this position in the first place? This style of dominance is very easy to ascertain in the beginning stages of "getting to know you".. If they are in fact "settling for abusive situations" I truly believe that says more for the submissive/slave than it does about the dom/master.

here's a quarter.. keep the extra 23 cents :)

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This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
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RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/17/2006 8:37:11 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JessieMe

If this were true.. my question is.. why did they put themselves in this position in the first place? This style of dominance is very easy to ascertain in the beginning stages of "getting to know you".. If they are in fact "settling for abusive situations" I truly believe that says more for the submissive/slave than it does about the dom/master.

here's a quarter.. keep the extra 23 cents :)

It is not always that they "put themselves there." Sometimes the relationship slowly degrades to it. Sometimes it is all a person knows. Growing up in an emotionally unhealthy environment had me conditioned to believe that is what I deserved. It molded me perfectly for the marriage I later found myself in. I did not "settle." I thought I had reached reality/normalcy/my destination. A spirit can be slowly chipped away until it crumbles. Compassion and help for those folks goes a long way - much further than judgment and critique (not implying that is what you are doing). I have lived it. The criticism served only to push me further into my grave. The love of friends and Master pulled me out far enough to see clearly enough to want to climb the rest of the way myself.

Edited to say I didn't mean to totally hijack. It's just a subject that compells me to speak on it.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 7/17/2006 8:38:40 AM >

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RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/17/2006 8:53:05 AM

JessieMe

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: JessieMe

If this were true.. my question is.. why did they put themselves in this position in the first place? This style of dominance is very easy to ascertain in the beginning stages of "getting to know you".. If they are in fact "settling for abusive situations" I truly believe that says more for the submissive/slave than it does about the dom/master.

here's a quarter.. keep the extra 23 cents :)

It is not always that they "put themselves there." Sometimes the relationship slowly degrades to it. Sometimes it is all a person knows. Growing up in an emotionally unhealthy environment had me conditioned to believe that is what I deserved. It molded me perfectly for the marriage I later found myself in. I did not "settle." I thought I had reached reality/normalcy/my destination. A spirit can be slowly chipped away until it crumbles. Compassion and help for those folks goes a long way - much further than judgment and critique (not implying that is what you are doing). I have lived it. The criticism served only to push me further into my grave. The love of friends and Master pulled me out far enough to see clearly enough to want to climb the rest of the way myself.

Edited to say I didn't mean to totally hijack. It's just a subject that compells me to speak on it.

I agree with all you say here.. I too have been in an abusive relationship that was like this.. insidious and slow to build.. However, my comment was directed at her statement that "Many settle for abusive situations because of their lack of self respect and settling for unhealthy situations"

This indicates to me they knew what they were getting into before hand and chose to disregard. To me.. again.. that says more about the sub/slave then about the dom/master.

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

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Post #: 66

RE: 24/7 or bedroom fun? - 7/17/2006 9:00:17 AM

ownedgirlie

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Thank you, Jessie, I had missed that in her posts, so I did not know exactly what you were replying to. I went back and have since seen the post. Thanks for the clarification.

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