dcnovice
Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
|
August 23, 2014
A Bit of Healing Humor
Dear Ones ---
“You look great in green,” a friend joked as she walked into my hospital room this time last week. I smiled and replied without any intended irony: “Why thank you! This is my favorite of the gown patterns.”
“Dear God,” I thought once the laughter subsided, “you know you’ve spent too much time in hospitals when you have a favorite gown pattern!” That led me to wonder what else might signal an overdose of inpatient care. A few symptoms came to mind.
You know you’ve spent too much time in the hospital when . . .
Your wrist feels naked without at least one plastic band encircling it.
You have the menu memorized. (If it’s mashed potatoes, it must be Tuesday.)
You reflexively give your full name and date of birth to anyone who comes within two feet of you.
You start confusing the words “hotel” and “hospital.”
Your kid comes to you with a boo-boo and you ask him or her to rate the pain on a scale of one to ten.
The noun “sharps” sounds normal to you, as does having a special place to put them.
You return home, go to shift a piece of furniture, and are startled to find it has no wheels.
You can’t remember the last time you wore long pants.
You spot, and point out, errors in medical shows on TV.
The florist doesn’t need to ask your room number.
You feel determined to make a visible dent in your unappetizing meal lest you hurt the feelings of the nutrition staff.
You worry about the dangers of texting while walking with an IV pole.
You feel like an outlaw swallowing a pill without a nurse in the room.
The day seems incomplete without anyone’s taking your vital signs.
You ask your spouse for an access code to the WiFi at home.
Metal cutlery feels unbelievably heavy.
You can’t believe no one’s impressed that you got out of bed.
Being called by your first name sounds odd.
You have no idea how hot or humid it is outside.
When it’s time to leave your room, you instinctively look for a wheelchair.
Well, I’m not sure these snippets are ready for primetime, but they made me smile, and I hope they do that for you too.
As ever, lots of love!
Cheers,
DC
_____________________________
No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.
JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE
|
DC Update: A Bit of Healing Humor - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread