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Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 9:54:30 PM   
MasterK09


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/26/2014
Status: offline 		Okay me and my sub we have this ritual where once in a while I submit to her for a period of time. We do this as a way of walking in each other's shoes. Anyway as a Dom it gives a nice level of perspective like I'm able to understand how she feels and it helps me to connect with her. I also like to think it gives her some perspective in what it's like to be in my shoes. Anyway I mentioned it to a couple of friends of mine and they said I shouldn't let her dominate me at all. The thing is I think this is why we work because it helps us to see the grass on both sides. So is this something that needs to stop?
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 10:06:57 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK09

Okay me and my sub we have this ritual where once in a while I submit to her for a period of time. We do this as a way of walking in each other's shoes. Anyway as a Dom it gives a nice level of perspective like I'm able to understand how she feels and it helps me to connect with her. I also like to think it gives her some perspective in what it's like to be in my shoes. Anyway I mentioned it to a couple of friends of mine and they said I shouldn't let her dominate me at all. The thing is I think this is why we work because it helps us to see the grass on both sides. So is this something that needs to stop?


Does it work for you? Sounds like it does. No need to stop if this appeals to the both of you. Who cares what others think or if they approve of your dynamic.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MasterK09)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 10:14:22 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Why let your friends dictate your relationship and what you two do? If it works for you two, screw what they or anyone else thinks. My guy and I both began our relationship from dominant perspectives. He wanted to explore submission with me. I began exploring submission to him. And we both happily switch with each other and have for our 2.5 years together.

Life is too damned short to live it on someone else's terms

(in reply to Gauge)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 10:22:16 PM   
MasterK09


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/26/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

~FRing it~

Why let your friends dictate your relationship and what you two do? If it works for you two, screw what they or anyone else thinks. My guy and I both began our relationship from dominant perspectives. He wanted to explore submission with me. I began exploring submission to him. And we both happily switch with each other and have for our 2.5 years together.

Life is too damned short to live it on someone else's terms

Thank you to be honest my friends sometimes make fun of me (it's just teasing but still it gets to you after a while) and it makes me feel like I'm not really a Dom when they do that. Then again the more I think about it the more I think what kind of Master would I be if I let others dictate my relationship? Besides it really does help us.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 10:24:10 PM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline 		Master K 09 ? Are you two taking turns walking the dog?

When you say you take turns, do you mean dominating or do you mean topping? The screen name leads me to suspect that you have no idea.

I agree with Guage and Trinity... whatever floats your couple's boat... don't let others rock it.


< Message edited by BecomingV -- 8/26/2014 10:25:44 PM >

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 10:28:16 PM   
MasterK09


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/26/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

Master K 09 ? Are you two taking turns walking the dog?

When you say you take turns, do you mean dominating or do you mean topping? The screen name leads me to suspect that you have no idea.

I agree with Guage and Trinity... whatever floats your couple's boat... don't let others rock it.


She's my 24/7 slave but once in a while I become her 24/7 slave.

(in reply to BecomingV)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/26/2014 11:55:00 PM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		If you enjoy switching then why stop? It's nobody else's business what you get up in your private life :-)

(in reply to MasterK09)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 1:15:24 AM   
BecomingV


Posts: 916
Joined: 11/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK09


quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

Master K 09 ? Are you two taking turns walking the dog?

When you say you take turns, do you mean dominating or do you mean topping? The screen name leads me to suspect that you have no idea.

I agree with Guage and Trinity... whatever floats your couple's boat... don't let others rock it.


She's my 24/7 slave but once in a while I become her 24/7 slave.


Master K 09 refers to bestiality with a canine, you know that, right? So, I'm not the only one laughing at the screen name. Even if it meant that you are a cop, involved with that unit, you STILL would be using a name that means, "dog - Fu**er" here, in the BDSM world. It's not a kink, but it comes up anyway. Take your screen name, for example!

I'm not certain that you aren't just bored and felt like getting some attention here. Whatever your motives, if you'd done some reading on what Masters are, you wouldn't have chosen such a ridiculous moniker. It literally, puts you at the bottom of the dog pile. LOL

Secondly, "slave" says absolutely nothing. "Do you refer to dominating or topping?" actually does mean something and so far, you make it clear that you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Do some reading and learn the terms so you can discuss your questions AND understand the replies. Don't stop reading until after you've discovered why your screen name is cause for mockery and humiliation.


< Message edited by BecomingV -- 8/27/2014 1:18:18 AM >

(in reply to MasterK09)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 6:22:13 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If you give a damn about what your friends tell you what is right, you're not a Master.

I'm having a hard time grasping the concept of 24/7 slavery being something that switches. I agree that you seem to be using that as just topping and bottoming, not TPE, but nobody uses the term "24/7" for session dynamics.

Yes, your screen name is unfortunate.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to BecomingV)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 7:34:46 AM   
GoddessManko


Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

If you give a damn about what your friends tell you what is right, you're not a Master.

I'm having a hard time grasping the concept of 24/7 slavery being something that switches. I agree that you seem to be using that as just topping and bottoming, not TPE, but nobody uses the term "24/7" for session dynamics.

Yes, your screen name is unfortunate.


As usual, DarkSteven is spot on. If you are letting others govern your decision making in any way then you are not a Master of thyself, much less others. But as a footnote, I see vanilla activities (for a woman) as inherently submissive so to engage in such things with said sub would be allowed to top once in a while which many people do. But it's biology at work there (if I was a man, then NEVER) and for me I'd have to REALLY like/love someone to go there.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 8/27/2014 7:40:28 AM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 9:02:30 AM   
MasterK09


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/26/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK09


quote:

ORIGINAL: BecomingV

Master K 09 ? Are you two taking turns walking the dog?

When you say you take turns, do you mean dominating or do you mean topping? The screen name leads me to suspect that you have no idea.

I agree with Guage and Trinity... whatever floats your couple's boat... don't let others rock it.


She's my 24/7 slave but once in a while I become her 24/7 slave.


Master K 09 refers to bestiality with a canine, you know that, right? So, I'm not the only one laughing at the screen name.

Actually I did not even know that the K is the first letter of my name and 09 is the year I graduated. I didn't even realize that until you mentioned it.

(in reply to BecomingV)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 11:26:27 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK09

Okay me and my sub we have this ritual where once in a while I submit to her for a period of time. We do this as a way of walking in each other's shoes. Anyway as a Dom it gives a nice level of perspective like I'm able to understand how she feels and it helps me to connect with her. I also like to think it gives her some perspective in what it's like to be in my shoes. Anyway I mentioned it to a couple of friends of mine and they said I shouldn't let her dominate me at all. The thing is I think this is why we work because it helps us to see the grass on both sides. So is this something that needs to stop?

Here's the thing. If you're dominant, why do you give a fuck what your friends think? Not their relationship.

Thing is, likely she'll reaffirm her feelings that being in charge of you (except in play) is definitely not her preference. And it presents you as being confident in who and what you are, not needed to be defensive and guarded about it.

My two cents.


(in reply to MasterK09)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 5:30:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If she can't give you orders for the future, then you're just switching during play. Not switching power roles.

So can she order you to never eat anything with garlic again, because you wind up smelling of it?

However, if you enjoy being topped, and if she has a sadistic side and enjoys topping, then good for you.

Activities do not an orientation make. If you enjoy getting your feet rubbed after a long day, that doesn't make you submissive. If you decide you need more pressure and tell her to hit your feet with a wooden dowel, you aren't suddenly a submissive just because she gave did bastinado on you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Musicmystery)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 9:01:03 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		BecomingV- I don't think that at all. K9 rarely has a 0 in it.

Op- do what you do, be safe and happy!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/27/2014 9:48:50 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I also didn't make any sort of connection between canine sex and this particular OP either. Didn't even register on my radar.

You sound kind of new to BDSM and D/s, OP. If you aren't, my apologies for my incorrect assumption. If you are, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all of course. But what I've noticed about newer folks is that they seem very concerned with fitting the image of whatever their identified side of the kneel is and they tend to be more concerned with the opinions of others when it comes to WIITWD. Questions like "is a dominant/submissive/slave supposed to be like/act like/do <fill in the blank>?" tend to get asked. So worried about the definition of what they identify as that they forget that they are supposed to be doing this because it brings them happiness. But as they grow and evolve, what others think becomes less important and being true to oneself takes the reins. I've reached a point in life where I do what makes me and my guy happy. We both struggled with bottoming because topping was all we knew in our individual lives. Ultimately though, we both found our bliss in switching with each other. And that is all that matters in the long run.

If this makes you and your lady happy, rock it. The minute you start dating your friends is the minute they get a say in your relationship



< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 8/27/2014 9:49:59 PM >

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/28/2014 9:41:02 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		"Dominating" means doing what YOU want, YOU calling the shots, YOU getting pleasure out of it. Your friends should know that instead of trying to dominate you.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 8/30/2014 12:58:25 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterK09

Okay me and my sub we have this ritual where once in a while I submit to her for a period of time. We do this as a way of walking in each other's shoes. Anyway as a Dom it gives a nice level of perspective like I'm able to understand how she feels and it helps me to connect with her. I also like to think it gives her some perspective in what it's like to be in my shoes. Anyway I mentioned it to a couple of friends of mine and they said I shouldn't let her dominate me at all. The thing is I think this is why we work because it helps us to see the grass on both sides. So is this something that needs to stop?



It wouldn't be for me, but to each their own. I suppose there's no substitute for experience, I'd agree with that, but the part I struggle with is why you feel it's necessary to switch in order for your relationship to work.

I don't go along with the idea that you can only really understand one another in the event you've switched; it's akin to some of our politicians who sleep rough for a week and claim they've lived as a homeless person - quite clearly they haven't and are talking right out of their back shute.

In terms of the friends, it's your relationship/business and so where they fit into this is anyone's guess.

I think the consensus protocol is do what you want providing it's legal and responsible and that's pretty much a reasonable point of view.


_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to MasterK09)
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RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 9/3/2014 9:33:32 AM   
CountDrackula


Posts: 36
Joined: 8/19/2014
Status: offline 		If I had one of them sub things I get her to dominate me up a plate of muffins at the hurryup
I am not entirely sure what you are saying OP but no-one is 100% D/s..actually a few people are, but they are..well, I will not speak of them.

You don’t seem to be doing anything wrong, but you have odd friends

Wonders what you meant by dominate - she goes on top, she thrashes thee with pots and pans and the kitchen sink

I have been clawed bitten and scratched but i am not into being hit slapped cropped tied beaten with a toaster. You justify it as walking in her shoes - that seems out of place statement and illogical to my mind (much like your friends comments) you should always be aware what shoes she is in (i know women have soo many)

You are allowed to like what you like for the correct reasons. I like them going on top, not just muffin rustling. I simply enjoy it and if i don't i beat it with pots and pans etc

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Letting your sub dominate you once in a while - 9/25/2014 4:18:45 PM   
ASimpleTailor


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2014
Status: offline 		If it works for you and you're okay with it, then it doesn't matter. There is no right or wrong way to Dom. There is just your way to do it. Do what you like and enjoy and forget about what other people think.

_____________________________

But what do I know. I'm just a simple tailor.

(in reply to CountDrackula)
Profile   Post #: 19
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