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First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 9:32:06 AM   
AoverZ


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/3/2014
Status: offline 		Hello,

Well, with my husband, we have already played some kinky games, including some D/s oriented.

Thus he is asking for more and I would like to give it a try.

I have been thinking about using a one-stop session found in a book, maybe with some adjustments, to have a reference we could use afterwards to discuss our likes and dislikes.

Do you think it could work ?

Thank you in advance,
Angel
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:09:39 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Have these been kinky role-playing games? Because the list is nearly endless with this by using your imagination, and then finding which ones are your favorites can then point you in the right direction you both might want to go. As far as bedroom "props," there are always plenty of items handy around the house that are safe to use. Bathrobe belt ties work great, a wooden hairbrush or wooden kitchen utensil as a paddle, wooden clothespins, a black leather mastiff's collar w/adjustable length leash. Starting out, get unlockable steel handcuffs just in case, insulate the wrists with handkerchiefs. Use scarves for blindfolds or a sleeping eye mask, also as a cleave gag. You don't have to go all out just yet at the sex shop for a bunch of stuff you might not need or want to use. A starter butt plug is a must, though.

At the top of the General BDSM Discussion forum is a link to a comprehensive BDSM Book List. Have kinky fun!

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to AoverZ)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:10:56 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Id actually do it the other way around. Discuss likes and dislikes together first. BDSM checklists can be found online and it gives great insight into interests, limits, etc. After that, Id tailor something based on what I learned about him and what I knew about myself...instead of taking something out of a book. Just my honest opinion of course

(in reply to AoverZ)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:26:05 AM   
AoverZ


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/3/2014
Status: offline 		He has filled his BDSM checklist and given it to me already.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:34:32 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Great. Create a personalized situation you both will enjoy. I checked your profile and you are new to this, right? Focus on working up something that fits with what he put on his list AND what you are comfortable doing right now. If this book session works, go with that. If parts of it works, go with that and add in.

(in reply to AoverZ)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:38:32 AM   
AoverZ


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/3/2014
Status: offline 		I think that a written session makes things less stressful for me.

I did some little things already but this time I feel like I need to put more pressure on him.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:50:21 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Then totally go for it. It's always a bit intimidating in the beginning as you work a new dynamic and figure out how your dominance works. As you gain comfort and confidence, it gets easier. This is an exciting time in your lives. Enjoy and grow together

(in reply to AoverZ)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 11:54:44 AM   
AoverZ


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/3/2014
Status: offline 		Thank you.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 12:47:54 PM   
SpyUnderCover


Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline 		It's difficult sometimes to try to come up with "scenes" when you're brand new and don't have a mentor. How do you start? What are you supposed to "do?"

Let your intuition guide you. Above all, make sure you're only doing what you want to do, and only as much as you want to do. You're the dominant; you get to call the shots. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of dominating him the way he (or you) thinks you "should" be doing it. You get to do what pleases you, and only as much as you're comfortable with.

Here are some links with helpful suggestions:

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/ravenbeginplay.htm

http://www.sexuality.org/authors/henkin/att37.html

http://www.frugaldomme.com/esoteric/techniq4.htm

There is also a chapter in Jay Wiseman's book SM 101 that offers a beginning "scene" specifically for women interested in dominating men.

Good luck!

Spy

(in reply to AoverZ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First 'serious' session - 9/5/2014 4:10:16 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AoverZ

Hello,

Well, with my husband, we have already played some kinky games, including some D/s oriented.

Thus he is asking for more and I would like to give it a try.

I have been thinking about using a one-stop session found in a book, maybe with some adjustments, to have a reference we could use afterwards to discuss our likes and dislikes.

Do you think it could work ?

Thank you in advance,
Angel


Fuck these books.

Ask him what he likes....do that. Then do it again.

(Happy marriage).

(in reply to AoverZ)
Profile   Post #: 10
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