1st Draft of "Betrayed" (Full Version)

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devora -> 1st Draft of "Betrayed" (9/20/2014 11:30:52 AM)

Reaching for the door she knew;
She never should have gone.
She should have had Him come along.
But now she must face His wrath,
Praying He will forgive His slut.
For that was what she had been today.
Allowing herself to follow her slutish urges, her body betraying her.
Betraying Him.
Would He forgive her? Would He still want her?
Walking into the room she fell to her knees and crawled to Him.
Taking one look He knows….He can feel it in His soul.
Grabbing her with a hand full of twisted hair……He throws her from His feet.
Standing, He smacks her across the face.
Huddled, shaking on the floor she begs for her life, for that is what He is to her….her soul, heart, and life.
Dragging her to the cross; He chains her there,
Leaving the room He gathers the Others, for they say He is too lenient with her.
Tears in her eyes, she trembles, knowing this will be like no other time.
She had failed, failed Him and herself.
Stalking to the wall, He takes the whip down.
Standing back, anger radiating like the sun from His body, He draws back the whip and release it….marking her back with welts, close to breaking the skin. Again and again He does this.
She takes all she can before she cries out, in well deserved pain.
He steps to her, jerking her head back by her hair, thrusting a gag into her mouth, and fastening it tight, behind her head.
Terror fills her heart and soul.
Murmurs fill her head as she hears His footsteps retreat.
Again and again the whip falls,
Small trickles of warm blood begin to fall.
A voice calls for reason, to halt His assault.
For if He broke her, she would be useless.
There she hung by the chains, crying thru the gag, tears streaming over her face
Whimpering, she pleads for mercy, begging forgiveness.
Walking to her He wraps His hand thru back of her hair
Jerking her head back He growls,” Now I will stamp you as mine, so you never forget.”
Unfastening His pants ,He draws Himself out,
Hard and ready He rubs Himself on her curvy ass
Her body trembles even more for she knew He would claim her.
Claim her in the most violent of ways.
His hands roughly grasp her supple hips; instincts crying danger, makes her jerk away…
His hand whips around her throat…she tries to drag air thru the gag to no avail, He leans in and growls “Never move from Me!” causing new tears to come along with subdued sobs, from around the gag.
She sags, allowing the chains to take her weight.
He thrusts suddenly into her ass……the pain explodes in her body but yet it, responds!
He is after all her Master….Master of her body, soul, and mind.
Pumping faster and faster his grunts turning to growls as He claims her again and again. He finishes with the loudest of growls of “Mine!”
Pulling out of her, He reaches up and releases her…..watching as she slides down and crumbles into a pile, at the base of the cross.
Leaving her there He goes and cleans Himself off, dismissing the others as He goes to the attached bathroom. They scatter, in fear of His temper.
Having cleaned Himself off, He takes a soft blanket from the bed; He walks to the girl, bending down He wraps her up and picks her up, to take her in His lap; as He sits on the floor.
Sobs wracked her body; heart and soul ripping apart at her failure.
He knew His punishment would heal long before her self-imposed punishment would.




Marc2b -> RE: 1st Draft of "Betrayed" (9/21/2014 10:00:58 AM)

Very good.

I like the straight forward aspect of it rather than drawing the scene out (which I am prone to do) which has its uses but sometimes you want to skip the appetizer and just dig into the feast.




devora -> RE: 1st Draft of "Betrayed" (9/21/2014 3:24:32 PM)

Thank You very much. This was written after a discussion with my Master, of what would become of me if I were to cheat on Him. Emotions ran strong at that time.
This is one of the first erotic/BDSM piecies I have written. I am pleased that you like it.
Again, thank you....it's a great boost to my ego!




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