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devora -> Rant; about some slave/subs Re:my Master (9/21/2014 4:18:50 PM)
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I am unable to play the way my Master wishes, due to medical conditions I currently have. Once the slaves/subs have written Him here and another site, they seem fine. When they hear of me they: freak, block Him, accuse Him of "cheating" and call Him a liar, not to mention that there could be rumors that are very bad for Him, and what others think of Him. I just don't understand....besides the fact that most have some baggage from the past that needs to be thrown away.
Both our profiles state up front, what we are looking for and the reason why. After another slave/sub called Him a cheater and a liar, just yesterday, I got feed up and wrote a letter to everyone on the two sites. So I wrote this in the writing section and directed, on my profile, to go to my writings, to put things in the right perspective...why we are seeking another....and understand how it is for me.
Please let me know what your thoughts are of the letter.....have I shared too much.......should I have something different....
Here is what I wrote:
WOW what a night……here it is, almost, 6:30 am (EST) in Pa. I have been up 6:30am, yesterday. And why am I up this long/late, you may ask???
Well let me tell you all a little story.
I have a medical condition called Fibromyalgia.
Now this disease isn’t visible, but is one of those invisible diseases, which causes me INTENSE pain, BODY WIDE!!
I may smile, but that doesn’t mean I am not hurting or in pain. There are times when I have what is called “Fibro Fog”, and this is when I cannot remember anything even something that was told to me minutes before. I walk into things (my body looks like I was used as a punching bag), I don’t understand words, and boy do I blurt out some words the wrong words, when I am trying to talk.
I stumble, trip, and fall at least ten times a day, when in this “fog”. I say the same thing over and over, not realizing I am doing so. I feel stupid and depressed during these times. The headaches and bone pains are the worse. So are the none-epileptic seizures I have. (Talking one moment and on the floor the next.)
My anxiety goes thru the roof!! (Please, ask Him about the time I almost went thru the roof of the car, it’s funny now.)
I sometimes sleep 16-20 hours at a clip or I don’t sleep for one to three days, or I get an hour or two here and there, only to not be able to sleep. Sleeping meds don’t help, ( I've tried about 10 different types already).
There is no meds that can take away ALL the pain, but some ease it or take off the edge. I can barely move to get out of bed…the burning, shooting pains, running from the base of my skull to the bottom of my feet, (my dog gives me incentive to get moving cause he can’t fend for himself). To twist or roll over, is like being on a torture rack .I can not stand, sit, lay down, twist, reach for anything over my head or even ride in a car, with out MAJOR pain. (I feel like the three days of labor for my last daughter, was a walk in the park.)
My depression, at times, is so sever that I need to call the crises hotline….I know why many take their own lives. They just want the pain to stop!!!
Right now, I am using a crutch, because something is wrong with my left hip. I’m doing physical therapy, but it’s doing little to help. I have had what feels like a tight band, running from the base of my skull, down my right shoulder blade and then running under my left shoulder blade to my side. This has been going on for over THREE weeks. I can barely walk and it is a struggle to just makes it down the steps, (my bedroom is in the attic). Yes, I have gone to the doctors for it, and a couple of ER visits as well. The meds don’t help, barely even touching it. BDSM, use to help (especially when the floggers were employed) but it very rarely works anymore. I can’t breath with out pain radiating across my back and heaven help me if I try to bend over!! I’ve used heating pads, until I felt fused to it, tried ice, tried hot baths/showers, stretching, Bengay, and using my meds at the highest possible does that won’t hurt me (NO, I do NOT want to kill myself!!!).
What once brought relief at one time, may not do so another time; in fact it can make things worse. Lukewarm water can feel as if it is scalding and burning me. Cold and make my skin burn, and like an electrical current is running underneath my skin...making it unbearably itchy,(think a million mosquito bites at once)
Can you imagine trying to wash your hair, when it feels as if each and every one of those hairs is hurting at the root? Forget trying to brush your hair at that point,( not increasing the pain, is worth having a bad hair day). Shaving feels like I am fillain my legs but the hairs make it hurt when they brush up agaist pants/jeans.
The dizziness, I mean just sitting there not moving and the room starts spinning like I had a drunk on. Then the white noise (a shushing sound) and ringing in my ears are so bad, I can barely hear. The vertigo is unnerving…having to be careful that there is something I can grab ahold of, in case I fall, because it comes on sudden and without warning.
On top of this I have arthritis, PTSD, Bi Polar, Borderline Personality Disorder and a few small other things. I lost my first husband/Master because of all of this. He thought I was faking and/or, that I was certifiable crazy.
I am only 44 years young. I was once very active. Camping, hiking, canoeing, running, playing soft ball, riding a bike, walking the dog…but now I care barely hug my niece goodbye, before she leaves for school in the morning.
The slightest touch on my skin, feels as if it is burning, feeling as if a thousand pins are trying to get thru the skin from the inside out. This is what my life is like, DAILY!!!*
This is MY story, my TRUE story. I wish Master Coon to be happy. He says He can do without, but those of use that have been in the lifestyle, as long as We have been, (almost 40 years experience, between Us), this is a need that drives the soul at times and ignoring your own needs can be self-destructive and unhealthy.
I’m writing all of this down and sharing it with you all for a reason. (NOT to get pity or sympathy. Truly I am NOT. I was compelled, to speak out. To defend the best Master/man, I have ever had in my life.)
Master Coon-bondage-King is on this site and collar space as well. He is looking for a play partner. He is a sadist. I am not.
Many women on here and elsewhere believe He is cheating on me and that He is just covering it up or making excuses. He is NOT.
Our relationship foundation is built upon the stones of honesty, caring, loving, commitment, faith, trust, believing in one another, and supporting one another, (no matter what), and the mortar that holds the foundation together is communication, humor, laughter, patience, gentleness, kindness, caring, hope, and faith. As such, believe me, I will know about the women He emails, texts, calls, and gets together with…BEFORE you know Him and/or before He does so.
He is NOT lying. With MY encouragement, He is looking for a play partner (female/ painslut/masochist/Cow/Pig,NSA), due to me not being able to play as much as WE wish I could. If you are ANY of these, please stop by and hit me up, with a message, but be SURE you ARE one of the above, as He is into real pain!
SIZE is no matter here; curvy, BBW, and SSBBW are enjoyed here!!! BUT they must have a good attitude and NO DRAMA!!! (I've got enough for the two of Us.)
Since there is such a problem with women believing His honest words, I have made a system up, to help Him.
I have put into place, a four-step, contact plan:
*1)After talking here, with Him, if they want to talk to me, to confirm all of this, another e-mail, specifically made for this reason, will be given. We can get to know one another.
*2)If they woman feels comfortable talking to me, we can then move on to a chat program, specifically made for this purpose.
*3)If a woman wants to confirm that I am indeed who I portray here, a phone number, specifically set up for this reason, will be given to her. She may call me at anytime.
*4)After going thru these steps, then we can set up a public meeting place, to meet face to face.
These are being put into place/practice to weed out the ones who are too lazy or impatient to wait. Now, if these 4 steps move quickly, then so be it. There is no time line for them to be completed.
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Thank You/you ALL for taking the time to read this rambling vent but I just wanted to put this out here, so all know;
HE IS SPEAKING THE TRUTH TO ALL!!!
okay enough of the ranting. Thanks for reading and I welcome any responses to my post.
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