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RE: Sticky Labels - 9/25/2014 10:16:51 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I agree with those who say labels have there place.

The problem with this site in particular is, it insists you have one of a handful of labels, no exceptions and its that very label (which often doesn't fit) that bring people clamouring to your mail box. When CM became CS I really wish they had dealt with that.

More labels won't change that. I call myself a submissive, say I'm looking for a dominant man; that doesn't keep the sub men from hitting me up "for play" in my inbox. I find many men don't give a rat's ass what the label is if you have a pussy.

The problem I have is on the forums and not getting mail from people. A lot of what I say doesn't ring true with my 'Dominant' label but that label is about as close as I can get. All they have to have on the list is 'Other'. Because I'm an other!.

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RE: Sticky Labels - 9/25/2014 10:19:37 AM

IrishMist

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Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

The problem I have is on the forums and not getting mail from people. A lot of what I say doesn't ring true with my 'Dominant' label but that label is about as close as I can get. All they have to have on the list is 'Other'. Because I'm an other!.

Now this I can relate to.
I really am not submissive. I am a pure, hard core, edgy masochist. Yet, there is no label for me.

/shrug

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RE: Sticky Labels - 9/25/2014 11:33:00 AM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I agree with those who say labels have there place.

The problem with this site in particular is, it insists you have one of a handful of labels, no exceptions and its that very label (which often doesn't fit) that bring people clamouring to your mail box. When CM became CS I really wish they had dealt with that.

More labels won't change that. I call myself a submissive, say I'm looking for a dominant man; that doesn't keep the sub men from hitting me up "for play" in my inbox. I find many men don't give a rat's ass what the label is if you have a pussy.

The problem I have is on the forums and not getting mail from people. A lot of what I say doesn't ring true with my 'Dominant' label but that label is about as close as I can get. All they have to have on the list is 'Other'. Because I'm an other!.

I apologize. I didn't realize CS doesn't have masochist and sadist as choices! It didn't occur to me that such basic choices would have been left out. I was thinking of that other site with far more choices than Dom and sub.

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RE: Sticky Labels - 9/26/2014 9:50:29 PM

AntiS0cial

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@OP, honestly it sounds like you're more distasteful of how those labels were being used (negatively) than what they actually represent. Someone saying "you're not a real X" is trying to undermine what someone has identified with. Doesn't matter if the mean it positively, "You're not really a bitch, just assertive", or as an insult, "You're not a sub, you're a fucking liar!", it's still trying to assert that they know you better than you know yourself.

Labels and generalizations are how we get through our day. I get to work safely on my bike because I label every driver as "dangerous" aka "Some fucker who doesn't know how to drive and will try to run my ass down." Your mileage (and exact definitions) may vary.

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RE: Sticky Labels - 9/27/2014 9:24:54 AM

satw

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It's the "No True Scotsman" logical fallacy, more formally called the Fallacy of Presumption.

* https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/no-true-scotsman

* http://www.logicalfallacies.info/presumption/no-true-scotsman/

* http://www.logicallyfallacious.com/index.php/logical-fallacies/136-no-true-scotsman

Once you recognize something is a logical fallacy, you can safely ignore it as anything you need to seriously consider.

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RE: Sticky Labels - 9/27/2014 9:38:04 AM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Xnawtyx

I'm curious as to what other people think about labelling someone?

'Youre not a real sub'...'you're not a Dom'

Really?
Is there a bdsm manual somewhere which defines exactly how someone who is on either side should act?
Cause I've been under the misguided illusion that everyone is unique and individual, in and out of bdsm....

Urgh labels 'shudders'

Well, yeah, I suppose there is a manual of sorts.

Every aspect isn't nailed down in some BDSM constitution, but there are certain unwritten guidelines that would mark out you or I as 'real' or otherwise.

No different to say being proficient in computers. There is certain criteria that would engender a consensus that you are proficient. Simply claiming you're proficient doesn't make you so, and an appeal to 'everyone is unique and individual' wouldn't do the trick either.

I suppose one doesn't really follow the other.

You may be unique and individual, who knows, but it doesn't follow that this makes you 'real' in the sense you mean here.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 9/27/2014 9:39:47 AM >

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Post #: 46