littleladybug
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Joined: 5/30/2013
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Do you ever feel like parents are onto something the childless world can't even fathom?
Is there a form of enlightenment in the intimacy and passion of parenthood that those who reject it will never understand? Are the moments of pure ecstasy and joy a secret which they lock themselves away from? Or are thoughts like this just ego-stroking? What are your thoughts?
Fill in any other thing you want, and it will still be self righteous statement :)
Completely agreed (and in fact, was getting ready to use the same example...)
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To go further on this...personally, I'm not quite ready to give up my place in the "vanilla world". Why should *they* get all of the joy of relationships that don't purely have to do with sex? Because, really, that's what we're talking about here. One small aspect of a very much broader world.
The other example that I was going to mention was that of homosexual relationships. At the end of the day, who one chooses to have a personal relationship with IS an important decision, but is, IMO, only ONE aspect of life. We all have to live in *the* world (I don't like calling it "vanilla", because that implies that it's an "us vs. them" thing, which to me not a productive way of thinking.)
Over the past several months, I have gotten back onto the "dating scene", and have had some interesting experiences, and have spoken with some people who have given me quite an education.
(Disclaimer: what I am about to mention are just *my* experiences, and I'm not trying to couch them in any universal truths...)
I'll start with those who have "vanilla relationships" and are looking for the kink. (AKA the "married guys") Normally, I shy away from these...but sometimes one gets in through the barricade. In my experience, most of these people are simply missing something in their relationship, which has NOTHING to do with kink, once all is said and done. I have gotten close to one particular guy, who will probably be married to this gal for the rest of his life. She's not submissive. Ok. But, more than that, she's not SUPPORTIVE. He...chose poorly... and was looking for something that he thought was in the "kink world". But, fact of the matter is, he found someone who is "kinky" who can give him something that is completely not "kink-related".
At the same time I have this friendship, I wear on occasion a gold necklace with three rings on it. One is my paternal grandfather's wedding ring. They were married for over 70 years. Another is a ring from my maternal grandmother...they were also married north of 70 years. The third is my dad's wedding ring. They just celebrated 52 years...he just never wore the ring. I sometimes wonder what separates these people from my friend. And the answer is probably nothing, with the exception of the internet. "Oh, if only my wife would do this"...nah...that's not the answer. But, the internet makes that fantasy possible.
The other "type" that I have encountered is the one who has been fucked over in what he perceives as the "vanilla world". With that comes a list of "needs". Most of the time, honestly, I have no tolerance for these types. Sometimes, though, these types also make it through the barricade. In my experience, I have found that those "needs" are, on occasion, overcome by an understanding that I am NOT like her (or them)...not because I'm submissive...but because I am me. A dear person in my life has been dealing with some serious family issues recently....I demonstrated that I care about that...holy crap...you would think that I was the first person that did that (which maybe I am...). But, at the end of the day, I view that less as me being "submissive" as simply being a caring human being.
In my time, I've been involved with some extremely bad human beings, who viewed themselves as "Dominant". Abusive is probably the nicest word that I could use.
I certainly don't think I have the answers, but experience has shown me that no one does. And, frankly, as soon as someone thinks they "know" is just about the right time to bolt...whether kink, vanilla, or any other type of relationship.
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RE: Do you ever feel like kinksters are onto something ... - 
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