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Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 3:14:18 AM

realsubmale100

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2014
Status: offline

Hello,

I am new here, and I have a question.

I am a fairly regular chap. I just happen to be submissive, and therefore seek a dominant partner. I've struggled in the past since the dommes I have chatted to seem to expect men to have a wishlist of kink with which they can talk about. I don't really have this. I have my fantasies, who doesn't, but for me the D/s thing is a basis for a relationship.

I'd love to know - are the Domme ladies fed up with unrealistic fantasy wishlists from sub males? Do they get emails with the stuff all packaged up e.g. I am a sub male and I'd love you to fuck me with a giant didlo while I am dressed as a maid etc., even if it bears no relation to your profile text?

Or is it just part of the fun? Women expect men to be a little daft, and perhaps ruled by their gonads. Are they worth the effort of wading through to get to the human being behind them?

NB: I hope this doesn't come across as superior. To each their own. I just feel a bit of an oddball since I don't have pictures of me slightly overweight and crammed into a size 12 maid's uniform being flogged in someone else's moderately filthy spare room (am I the only one who sees these pictures and wonders if the Domme lady should maybe just get the maid to hoover and clean the place up instead of skelping him about; maybe put away some of the clothes etc?).

Anyway as I said, I am new here. So hello.

G

< Message edited by realsubmale100 -- 9/28/2014 3:21:43 AM >

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 9:11:26 AM

SpyUnderCover

Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline

Hello, and welcome to the forums.

The messages I receive are not usually as overt as that, but yes, it is frustrating to see so many who have a laundry list of what they want to have done to them. This topic is brought up fairly frequently on the forums so I suspect you'll get a lot of responses from dommes who concur.

Amusing commentary on the pictures. Those too often seem to be the stuff of fantasy.

Spy

(in reply to realsubmale100)

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 9:28:33 AM

realsubmale100

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpyUnderCover

Hello, and welcome to the forums.

The messages I receive are not usually as overt as that, but yes, it is frustrating to see so many who have a laundry list of what they want to have done to them. This topic is brought up fairly frequently on the forums so I suspect you'll get a lot of responses from dommes who concur.

Amusing commentary on the pictures. Those too often seem to be the stuff of fantasy.

Spy

It will be interesting to see what others have to say.

Great profile incidentally, and superb legs too.

(in reply to SpyUnderCover)

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 9:36:44 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100

I've struggled in the past since the dommes I have chatted to seem to expect men to have a wishlist of kink with which they can talk about. I don't really have this. I have my fantasies, who doesn't, but for me the D/s thing is a basis for a relationship.

I'd love to know - are the Domme ladies fed up with unrealistic fantasy wishlists from sub males?
<snip>

OMG, are we fed up with DO-ME lists and unrealistic and/or overly sexualized fantasy scripts? Hell to the yes, as far as I know.

Which makes me wonder whether you have been exchanging messages with Dommes who are for hire. Those are the ones who want you to detail out your kink-fetish repertoire. They might pretend that they don't cater to a male sub as a client, but that's really all you are to them until and unless you establish a long-standing (client-based) relationship with them.

It's the not-for-hire lifestyle Dommes who will want to get to know you as a person first and size up whether you are a contender as a suitable mate and sub partnership material. We want the D/s primarily and BDSM compatibility is secondary to that, for the most part.

Don't change! You are on the right track. It's usually the complete opposite that Dominant women encounter, unfortunately.

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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 9:46:04 AM

realsubmale100

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/25/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
OMG, are we fed up with DO-ME lists and unrealistic and/or overly sexualized fantasy scripts? Hell to the yes, as far as I know.

Which makes me wonder whether you have been exchanging messages with Dommes who are for hire. Those are the ones who want you to detail out your kink-fetish repertoire. They might pretend that they don't cater to a male sub as a client, but that's really all you are to them until and unless you establish a long-standing (client-based) relationship with them.

It's the not-for-hire lifestyle Dommes who will want to get to know you as a person first and size up whether you are a contender as a suitable mate and sub partnership material. We want the D/s primarily and BDSM compatibility is secondary to that, for the most part.

Don't change! You are on the right track. It's usually the complete opposite that Dominant women encounter, unfortunately.

Thanks for the comment, Opal.

I suspect some have been pros, but many have not. There are some dommes who are just in it for the thrill, although that is not always apparent from their profiles (possibly copied and pasted from elsewhere).

(in reply to FieryOpal)

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 9:54:21 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Believe it or not, male dominants run into this same phenomenon, also; not in as much quantity but it happens.

There are so many ladies that identify as submissive who really are just into the kinks that it can be a daunting task to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Take heart, young man, it seems to me like when you do make a connection, it will be a good one because you have your head in the right place.

Peace,

Michael

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

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A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 10:01:20 AM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100

Thanks for the comment, Opal.

I suspect some have been pros, but many have not. There are some dommes who are just in it for the thrill, although that is not always apparent from their profiles (possibly copied and pasted from elsewhere).

Just a head's up on two factors. If the profile mentions financial domination, this is a business arrangement. A Fin-Domme may be in it for the thrills, but I still consider this to be commercially oriented (being on a retainer under the guise of tribute, requiring installment payments, is still for-hire). No pay, no cam play, or what have you.

There are a few lifestyle Dommes who will engage in financial domination with their sub(s), who actually do want to form an emotional attachment and care about their sub's welfare. However, you are clear in your profile that you are seeking an FLR commitment, not a kinky play partner arrangement, so don't be tempted to settle for less than that.

You are open to women of all D/s orientations. From what I hear, there are many fake female profiles out there, and there are HNG men who get their kicks by impersonating women. This is the Interwebz, so tread carefully, if you didn't already know this. Best of luck.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 1:43:11 PM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100

...I hope this doesn't come across as superior...

G

It does come across as a tad superior. And your username suggests you consider yourself so.

Your observation that the internet is a place where some men (and women) get off on talking about their kinks is accurate though... but I doubt it is news to anyone.

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 2:31:35 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

What ages are you looking at?
And what age are you?

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RE: Sub males and showreel fantasy - 9/28/2014 7:38:36 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: realsubmale100

Hello,

I am new here, and I have a question.

I am a fairly regular chap. I just happen to be submissive, and therefore seek a dominant partner. I've struggled in the past since the dommes I have chatted to seem to expect men to have a wishlist of kink with which they can talk about. I don't really have this. I have my fantasies, who doesn't, but for me the D/s thing is a basis for a relationship.

I'd love to know - are the Domme ladies fed up with unrealistic fantasy wishlists from sub males? Do they get emails with the stuff all packaged up e.g. I am a sub male and I'd love you to fuck me with a giant didlo while I am dressed as a maid etc., even if it bears no relation to your profile text?

Profile text? People read profiles?

quote:

Or is it just part of the fun? Women expect men to be a little daft, and perhaps ruled by their gonads. Are they worth the effort of wading through to get to the human being behind them?

Women who are seriously looking expect no such thing, women expect a person, not a penis. That the penis is attached to the person is simply a bonus. Different people are looking for different things, women have the advantage over men that they can be picky as hell if they are truly looking because of the ratio.

quote:

NB: I hope this doesn't come across as superior. To each their own. I just feel a bit of an oddball since I don't have pictures of me slightly overweight and crammed into a size 12 maid's uniform being flogged in someone else's moderately filthy spare room (am I the only one who sees these pictures and wonders if the Domme lady should maybe just get the maid to hoover and clean the place up instead of skelping him about; maybe put away some of the clothes etc?).

No, not superior at all, you just claimed to be odd because you don't look or appear like those types of people... the implication that you are better than they are is barely perceptible.

quote:

Anyway as I said, I am new here. So hello.

Welcome to the forums.

< Message edited by Gauge -- 9/28/2014 7:39:26 PM >

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