New and experimenting (Full Version)

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Slavebassy -> New and experimenting (10/6/2014 2:41:37 AM)

Hello all,
My name is Ryan and I am new sorta new to this site. I was on Collarme, but I never really got into it. Most of the reason is because all of the female doms want money, which being currently enrolled in college prohibits. I am from Northeast Ohio, and would live to meet up with someone in real life, but I cannot travel very far.




GoddessManko -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 3:13:16 AM)

[sm=welcomewave.gif]

And good luck snagging a Domme when you categorize them ALL under the same umbrella.




Slavebassy -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 3:25:31 AM)

yea, i've had pretty much no luck so far.... maybe if an online dom female dom would buy a chastity belt and send it to me in an unmarked box i would consider, but im not sure someone would do that...




GoddessManko -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 3:32:30 AM)

OK, well your desire for your D to support you monetarily (purchase devices) is actually completely contrary to your OP, so I would advise not to accuse female Ds of what you are actually doing.




Slavebassy -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 3:36:36 AM)

I am not trying to be rude, I mean this in the nicest way, but I never said that they have to, I just said that if they would be willing to then I would consider it.




DarkSteven -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 6:04:45 AM)

What do you have to offer a woman? Hard to say because your profile's blank.

Which brings up the question - how hard have you looked? If you haven't filled the profile out, it makes me wonder how much effort you've put into the search.

If you do not initiate contact, then all you will have are finDommes and scammers. The legit lifestyle Dommes are swamped with messages and very seldom initiate contact.

Have you checked out any munches or TNG groups close to you?

Oh, yeah... welcome to the forums!




Slavebassy -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 6:08:28 AM)

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy... and also, I try to initiate contact and then they send me to some website where you have to pay an absurd amount of money...




DarkSteven -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 6:53:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy... and also, I try to initiate contact and then they send me to some website where you have to pay an absurd amount of money...


Initiating contact is good.

What's happening is that, once you initiate contact, the lifestyle (non pro) Dommes see the empty profile and look no further. The pay Dommes will be happy to hit you up for money. In other words, fill out the profile or the looking ain't gonna work.

Have you checked out any munches or TNG groups close to you? I'd check and see what there is in Macedonia but Fetlife, the place where I'd search, is down.




crazyml -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 7:12:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy... and also, I try to initiate contact and then they send me to some website where you have to pay an absurd amount of money...


With a blank profile, your only chance, really, is to pay an absurd amount of money.

So, work hard to earn the dough, or invest a little time in creating a profile that presents you in an interesting and positive light.

It's up to you.

But... c'mon... this shit isn't fucking "magick".




Slavebassy -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 7:23:24 AM)

good point.... and coming up with cash is extremely hard when it is all gone by the next month, when paying rent, utilities, food, and for college classes...




AthenaSurrenders -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 10:53:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

good point.... and coming up with cash is extremely hard when it is all gone by the next month, when paying rent, utilities, food, and for college classes...


We're all grown ups here, honey, so we all have bills to pay. Bad news is that until you work your ass off for a few years to get a well-paying job (and perhaps not even then, with the economy), it doesn't get any easier. You leave college and generally your expenses will go up. This is why people have helpfully suggested other ways to get what you want - going out meeting people at munches and putting effort into your profile.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

yea, i've had pretty much no luck so far.... maybe if an online dom female dom would buy a chastity belt and send it to me in an unmarked box i would consider, but im not sure someone would do that...


That's not how the world works. Generally you establish a relationship with someone and THEN you talk about who will pay for your toys. On this site there are probably 100 male subs to every 1 lifestyle dominant, so unless you are really something special, no one is going to buy you expensive gifts in the hope that you will consider them. On the other hand if you get to know someone and she likes you, she might be more than happy to pay for the toys for both of you to enjoy together.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy...


Well that's sexy.

Seriously, profile, and go out and meet people. And use this time when you're sat around being broke becoming really awesome and interesting. Get good at something - a sport, a musical instrument, making amazing food on a tight budget. Read everything you can. Get top grades. Cultivate good personal hygiene habits. All things that will help you in the future.

To further stack the deck against you, you are very young. This limits your pool of potential partners. It's not the end of the world but another reason why you need to work for what you want. Your current profile says 'hey, I'm broke!' I don't even know whether you're looking for a long term relationship or a fuck buddy. And start saving up. Because even a regular relationship without paying tribute costs money. Dating gets boring if you can never afford to go anywhere and although you shouldn't be expected to pay for everything, you should be making a token effort to contribute.

and welcome to the site.




InHisHeart -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 12:00:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy...


Laziness is not a very good trait in a submissive. Do you really think a Domme will be interested in a lazy sub?




Blonderfluff -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 12:28:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy... and also, I try to initiate contact and then they send me to some website where you have to pay an absurd amount of money...



So. You are (self-admitting) broke AND lazy. I have no idea why the Domme type ladies arent just breaking down your dorm door...


Maybe I'll start a Forum Thread, asking why.




searching4mysir -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 1:08:06 PM)

Use your profile to present the positive things you would bring to your domme (and I don't mean your dick or your kinks or your BDSM wish list).

What type of sense of humor do you have? Are you handy around the house? Can you paint, tile, woodwork, etc.? Do you shovel snow really well (it's supposed to be a hard winter)? Can you cook? Do you like to hike? Ski? Swim? Theater? Karaoke? Keep the profile 90% vanilla. The profile pic could use a smile. Don't use any nudes. If she wants to see you naked she will ask for them.

Describe the type of relationship you are looking for: long-term, FWB, fuckbuddy, NSA, etc.

When you write to her, make it personal. Take something from her profile or journal and ask her about it. Don't use honorifics or pet names (like mistress, goddess, sexy, beautiful, Hun). Be respectful, remember, dommes are women first, kinky second. Use her username. If she wants to be called something else, she will let you know (sometimes it will say how to address her right in the profile).

If you fall outside her stated search parameters, respect that and don't write to her. If her response is a no or a no response (same thing), accept that with grace. There is no need to turn to insults because she doesn't think you are compatible.

Good luck with your search.




MarieDomina -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 1:26:13 PM)

Is this some kind of a joke?




searching4mysir -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 1:49:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MarieDomina

Is this some kind of a joke?



Me or the OP?




Gauge -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 2:02:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Slavebassy

my profile isnt filled out because I am lazy...


At least you are honest, I'll give you that.

Look man, if you are lazy that isn't an attractive trait for a partner to have. I suggest that you get off your ass and change that about yourself... after all, if you are paying to go to school and you are too lazy to do the work, you will flunk out. If you are doing your school work then you are not so much lazy as you are preoccupied with school and don't have much time for anything else. Either way, lazy or not, you have a few things to work on for yourself first. Dominants are not going to beat down your door, and you have to stand out for them to even give you a slightly interested glance. If you are contacting pretty young things that look like they fell out of the pages of a porn magazine, then you will run into the ones that point you to a website more than you will run into a real person that is searching.

Get your profile filled out. Start there.

Welcome to the forums.




IIapetus -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 6:03:51 PM)

Double post.




IIapetus -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 6:07:05 PM)

Hey OP.

Welcome - I am new here too.

I felt compelled to reply for one of two reasons. A., Your post was a masterpiece, and perfect storm, of provocative humor. In which case, I'll quit my job, you'll continue being lazy, but we'll go write a sitcom together. Or at the very least, a viral YouTube video. Guaranteed.

Or B., You're serious. In which case, whilst I am new here - and in no place to give D/s advice - perhaps some life advice might suffice. And as a disclaimer, I don't know you. And all I do know about you is in two paragraphs, and quite some paragraphs they were. You made quite an impression on me. Imagine the power of two paragraphs, nice ones about yourself, in your profile. That would be step one.

Here goes on step two, which will support step one. Enough experience in the vanilla world has taught me - you have to paint yourself in an at least marginally positive light. Don't lie. If you want real life connections, lies come undone mighty fast. So whilst I read a paraphrased collection of negatives - lazy, no money, wants it all done for him - you could be saying - "young, undergrad, investing in future", blah, blah. Or at least that's what I was thinking, whilst finishing lap 80 in the pool...

Okay, on to your biggest contextual boon - you're at college. Never again will you be among such a concentration of youthful, sexually active, generally switched-on, mostly available, financially challenged, people, ever again. Make the most of the opportunity. Make a connection to a group or society in the real world, or look for similarly collegial D listings online. Depending on college, most will be in the same boat financially, so you'll at least be dealing with that hindrance, through its sheer ubiquity among your studious peers.

Finally. On laziness. Learn this, and learn it good. As an adult, you have to do it for yourself. Mum and dad won't be around forever, and no one likes lazy. You'll only get away with laziness if you're outrageously beautiful. So beautiful, you're a candidate to be put in a transparent box in an art gallery. Or cryogenically frozen to demonstrate to future generations the physical zenith humanity reached. Or you're Harrison Ford, circa 1979, the Apocalypse Now vintage Harrison. (I jest, HF had to work hard to get his SW:IV casting). So make your own reality, and take the first step, and get up and deal with it. Every journey starts with a single step. Yours will likely be a tiny, baby ant sized, step. But if it's in the right direction, that's a start.

And finally, finally, on the brightest side - anyone after your money, who are message board inclined, now know you don't got no $.

Iaps




SweetnStormySub -> RE: New and experimenting (10/6/2014 6:57:16 PM)

No way could I elaborate on the wisdom here. You've been given a wealth of advice, so act on those words. I am in NE Ohio as well. Check out TPR, The Purple Rose group in Akron. Also, Carpe Diem meets in Cleveland. Wait! I do have some advice: find yourself a subbie friend who has "been there, done that." Good luck :-)




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