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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 5:51:48 PM

ExiledTyrant

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There is nothing petty about my Tyranny. Ask anyone.

Jus sayin

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 6:18:35 PM

FelineRanger

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OP, evidently you've never been involved with running a church or with any kind of prison duty. Otherwise you'd know that vestry members and corrections officers make the bullies in BDSM look like rank amateurs.

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 6:26:50 PM

ChrchofDrk

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quote:

There is nothing petty about my Tyranny. Ask anyone.

I didn't mean you. I know your tyranny is above reproach

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 6:37:55 PM

ChrchofDrk

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quote:

Otherwise you'd know that vestry members and corrections officers make the bullies in BDSM look like rank amateurs.

No I've never had much dealings with either of those. Although I do have a very good friend and deputy sheriff who earned the nickname of Excessive Force Al because he took a perverse pleasure in bouncing gangbanger heads off the hood of his patrol unit. But I don't consider him to be a bully. Just someone that teaches and helps develop higher listening skills of those less fortunate

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 7:23:02 PM

DesFIP

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I'm not sure what you mean by abuse being a fetish. Are you referring to sadism? If so, then you must know that some people enjoy physical sadism and some enjoy mental sadism. And some enjoy receiving either or both kinds. It's not abuse if they consent and if it doesn't make them less, doesn't make them walk on eggshells, afraid.

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 7:48:03 PM

ChrchofDrk

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quote:

It's not abuse if they consent and if it doesn't make them less, doesn't make them walk on eggshells, afraid.

No. Not sadism and consent is a whole different topic. More from a bully standpoint of petty tyranny and abuse of power. There are those masochists who actually enjoy abuse and whatever trips their trigger is fine. I'm talking more from a bully standpoint than a BDSM fetish standpoint. So I guess I shouldn't have included it in the original post. But it felt important at the time

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 8:09:11 PM

ExiledTyrant

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Narcissists are drawn to BDSM because for a little while they get to play God without going to prison. It's pretty easy to distinguish a D from a narcissist once you are aware that narcissists are thick in the life style. A D is what he/she is and has no need to convine you of anything... They simply do not give a fuck what you think of them, because the opinions that matter are in a dynamic with them. The narcissist has to convince you at ever turn and the more insecure they are the more they will bully and badger.

Jus sayin

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/8/2014 8:35:19 PM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Narcissists are drawn to BDSM because for a little while they get to play God without going to prison. It's pretty easy to distinguish a D from a narcissist once you are aware that narcissists are thick in the life style. A D is what he/she is and has no need to convine you of anything... They simply do not give a fuck what you think of them, because the opinions that matter are in a dynamic with them. The narcissist has to convince you at ever turn and the more insecure they are the more they will bully and badger.

Jus sayin

Exiled would know narcissism quite well, believe me. Kidding, lol. Actually narcissists are the type to have little to no empathic compass because they can't see past the nose on their face (nor reflection). They hold others to a different standard than themselves because they are without flaw. They have a victim mentality quite often. They probably won't necessarily badger, they tend to compartmentalize and be general sociopaths. Think Dahmer.

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/9/2014 3:27:53 AM

ExiledTyrant

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I think you might want to hit the books, Manko.

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/9/2014 11:28:51 AM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

What is it about the BDSM life that seems to almost promote and reward the bully mentality?

In my mind, the "bully mentality" is rewarded by people with weak minds and constitutions who think that the "yes Sir" or "yes Ma'am" is the be all, end all. "OMG. he says he's a Master....must.not.resist". If a Dom having someone like this is a "reward"...then there's not too much to be done about it. There will always be people who have weaknesses that are preyed upon. It's unfortunate, IMO, that this is an inherent part of this lifestyle...but, fact of the matter is that it IS.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk
and don't folks ever just get fed up with the bullshit enough to do something about it? If there was something to be done. What could be done?

I have enough troubles trying to keep track of my own life to worry about what others do. And, really, what can be done? I mean, aside from telling horror stories... But, people will do what they want to do at the end of the day...and it's not anyone's "responsibility" to make sure they don't make mistakes.

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/9/2014 12:08:13 PM

L8bloomer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

Not to name names or anything. So I really don't want to go there. But I've always wanted to know the why of things. Whatever it might be the why was what mattered to me. That's why I took psychology in school. To understand why the human response is as it is. Which brings me to wonder. What is it about the BDSM life that seems to almost promote and reward the bully mentality? Why are there so many bullies in this life? What drives the bully mentality and what is it about BDSM that fuels it? I suppose that's the same question phrased in 3 different ways but abuse of other humans is a fetish. The strong thrive and the weak perish and all that. Doesn't it ever get kinda stale? and don't folks ever just get fed up with the bullshit enough to do something about it? If there was something to be done. What could be done?

I can't say I've had a whole lot of experience with those in "BDSM life", but of those I have, no one was a bully. Most were fairly decent people overall and I had fun engaging with them in both a kink context and in a vanilla social setting.

I have, however, had some try to convince me I should give them a blow-job, but that was more about manipulation than bullying. :P

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/9/2014 12:12:19 PM

MariaB

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Op, Im going to remove a few of your words and replace them with more appropriate ones.

To understand why the human response is as it is. Which brings me to wonder. What is it about the Online personas that seems to almost promote and reward the bully mentality? Why are there so many bullies online? What drives the bully mentality and what is it about online that fuels it? I suppose that's the same question phrased in 3 different ways but abuse of other humans is a fetish. The strong thrive and the weak perish and all that. Doesn't it ever get kinda stale? and don't folks ever just get fed up with the bullshit enough to do something about it? If there was something to be done. What could be done? [image][/image][image][/image][image][/image]

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RE: Bullies in BDSM - 10/9/2014 1:17:57 PM

ChrchofDrk

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Thank you MariaB That does make it more accurately expressed

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