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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Texting is a very ambigious medium. We lack the luxury of interpersonal queues to move us foreword in a conversation, and to show that we are invested in a conversation, it takes much more effort via text. We spend our lives learining conversation queues, and for those not born with a smart phone in hand, most texts immediatly appear as curtness, because we know what curt looks like, and without interpersonal queues, we can asume it is curt or dismissive.

Texting is a great way to connect with someone, but it will never be a viable tool for relationship support. Regardless of the depth or level of the relationship, a text shows that "they" have crossed our minds, but imparts no real value on the recipient, that we must work on. So, a brief statement or question establishes a point of connection... and some times that is all we have time for... without revisiting the question/statement/conversation in depth, when there is actual time to hold a conversation, people fall into assuming that their value you to you, is just a momentary thought crossing your mind, and a text validates that.

So, the question is, how often do you pursue a conversation, even if it requires revisiting it at a later time, versus how often you drop a text to keep people hovering on the edge of your life with no real investment?

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I don't carry on conversations through text. I'll send a quick text saying "I'll be late" if I'm expected at a specific time or ask a question "what do you want for dinner tonight" or "what time will you be home", something on that order but for an actual conversation, I'll talk by phone or in-person but not text.

If I got a text like the one you sent, I would see it just as a statement, not a conversation starter. I might reply by just saying "ok" or "oh well......" but that would be it. I don't see it as anything more than just a random statement.

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I don't tend to reply to texts in a conversational way, I use them more as a way of smoothing out the details in things - convenient easy communication.

The typical conversation I will have is:

"Would you pull the beef out of the freezer please so it is defrosted this evening"
"Ok done"
"Thanks"

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ORIGINAL: SinFix

So, I will preface this by saying that I'm looking for opinions about styles and types of conversation.

It has been pointed out to me by my best friend that via texting I am very prone to just sending what would be considered a statement. For example this morning I sent a text to someone saying "Ugh, I am beginning to hate spreadsheets", now to me, while I understand that it is just a statement, why would that not be considered a conversation starting point?

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He maintains that questions are the key to carrying on a conversation, but while I feel that yes they are, statements and observations are just as valid as a question for having a conversation. How else would you get your opinion across if not by stating it?

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I know that texting, I am very bad about keeping it short and simple, and that most of the time when I text a statement I am not always looking for a reply back to that statement or observation.

So, everyone, How do you begin and carry on conversations? specifically via text.

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ORIGINAL: SinFix

1: I have major issues hearing the lower octaves in men's voices over a cell phone, so following what a guy is talking to me about is extremely difficult and tends to led to them getting frustrated or annoyed with constant repeating of things.

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I like texting. I prefer it to phone calls, which I have always avoided. Something about talking into some sort of weird device attached to my ear has always, since long before cell phones, seemed distant to me. So texting (and other forms of communication such as email) now allows me to actually keep in touch with people that I used to avoid calling. And yes, I carry on entire conversations through text with numerous people.

So, with that background, personally, I would see your statement as an opening to a conversation.

I wonder. If you were to say that same statement in person to your friend, would he respond? And if he did respond, would he respond kindly? If so, then I don't see why saying it via text would be any different. However, I am certain that there are some in my life that would view that type of statement as a complaint or a cry for attention and I might not be so indulged, in either text or in person, unless they are in the mood to indulge me. So while I do believe what you said could be a conversation starter, your friend might be just as correct in viewing it differently.

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ORIGINAL: shiftyw

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ORIGINAL: Kaliko

I like texting. I prefer it to phone calls, which I have always avoided. Something about talking into some sort of weird device attached to my ear has always, since long before cell phones, seemed distant to me. So texting (and other forms of communication such as email) now allows me to actually keep in touch with people that I used to avoid calling. And yes, I carry on entire conversations through text with numerous people.

So, with that background, personally, I would see your statement as an opening to a conversation.

I wonder. If you were to say that same statement in person to your friend, would he respond? And if he did respond, would he respond kindly? If so, then I don't see why saying it via text would be any different. However, I am certain that there are some in my life that would view that type of statement as a complaint or a cry for attention and I might not be so indulged, in either text or in person, unless they are in the mood to indulge me. So while I do believe what you said could be a conversation starter, your friend might be just as correct in viewing it differently.

^ I agree with this exactly. I much prefer written ways of communicating. I hate talking on the phone.