meeting Dommes/Mistresses (Full Version)

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straponlover2015 -> meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:18:31 PM)

i don't care to go to local munches/meetings, is there another way to meet Dominant Females...



mnottertail -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:21:28 PM)

I am sure, but I would try to go to where they were, like munches and events, its going to take a long time to snag a nun from the cloister otherwise.

If you like bacon, you must associate with pigs. There is no other help for it.



RockaRolla -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:25:41 PM)

May I ask why you don't want to? Because it limits your options severely.

Not only is going to an event the best way to put your foot in the door and make connections, outright stating that you don't want to is a red flag to many. It gives the impression that you have something to hide from the local community or possibly have some form of bad reputation among them. It also shows that you're not putting a lot of effort into it, because if you're looking to meet someone why not go to where the people are? And it shows that you may not be interested in human connections beyond getting your kinks fulfilled.

That said, it is possible to meet someone without going to a munch. You can do it from the safety of your computer chair. Some people will be turned off by this, but that just means you'll have to look longer or put more thought into your search. Have conversations with women before you get into the "Can you do XYZ to my ABC?" negotiations. And keep in mind that many women are hesitant to engage in any play with randoms they met online with limited interaction. At some point you will have to expose yourself to natural light and meet someone without necessarily getting laid, or you'll be looking for a while.



straponlover2015 -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:29:42 PM)

good point, my problem is i seem to have tendencies to run into vanilla people i know form the past...happened already



FieryOpal -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:31:02 PM)

You mean IRT-In Real Time, in person. Out there in Kansas. [8|] Get thee to a munch somewhere nearby.
If you're too socially awkward to get together in a casual setting like a coffee shop, then your chances of approaching a Domme outside of a secure, social setting aren't so good.
(Not unless you're willing to pay for BDSM services, and going by your user name, it won't be easy to find what you're looking for.)

Not only is it suspicious for you to not want to be seen in public with other kinksters, but it could give the wrong impression. Such as being married and sneaking around behind your wife's back.

Keep in mind that D/s aside, you're a man and Dommes are women. Following standard dating protocol is your safest bet. You can always try on-line Domination, if nothing else, but be prepared to pay fees for a Cyber-Domme. (She may call it offering tribute.) They don't give camshows for free, from what I hear.



RockaRolla -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:32:14 PM)

Looking at your past posts and profile, there's minimal input there. It makes me lean toward the "little effort" motivation for possibly not wanting to go to munches. It's also possible that you're not sure of how to put yourself out there and perhaps have some social anxiety, but if you want a new partner that's just something you'll have to get over.



RockaRolla -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:34:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: straponlover2015

good point, my problem is i seem to have tendencies to run into vanilla people i know form the past...happened already


Made my last post before seeing this.

Yeah I get it, that can be awkward. But think about the circumstances. You're meeting them in a kinky setting, which means they're about as innocent as you. Unless there's another reason for being so secretive.



straponlover2015 -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:35:39 PM)

i was on the other site for several years...cm.com, i just found out this was up and running...



RockaRolla -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 2:49:55 PM)

Doesn't sound like you've had a lot of luck on the other side, then. What's been your approach so far? Do you send messages or wait for them to come to you? Do you read profiles and send a personalized introduction or a generic "Hello I'm seeking XYZ?"



GoddessManko -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 5:19:38 PM)

Yea OP, there is NOTHING on your profile aside from height and weight. I think you would fare better by putting in some actual information about yourself.



Gauge -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/14/2014 5:29:00 PM)

No picture. No interests. Nothing to tell anyone who you are or what you are looking for. Just one scraggly line about how much you love serving dommes.

If it were as easy as what you have done you wouldn't have a need to post this question. Put a little bit of effort in your search, you might be surprised at the results you could get.



wecontrolyou2 -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/15/2014 11:07:11 AM)

Your profile is terrible. But thats honest feedback and therefore something you can fix. If you wrote
to us, you would not get a reply. For one thing there is nothing on your profile, execept one line
that is all about you. Your desire, expectations.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/15/2014 11:18:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: straponlover2015

i was on the other site for several years...cm.com, i just found out this was up and running...

This is that very same site - just under a slightly different name. [:D]

Not re-built, or ported over.... just given a different URL server address.
Everything else is just the same as it was before - including all the members.



Bhruic -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/15/2014 11:29:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: straponlover2015

good point, my problem is i seem to have tendencies to run into vanilla people i know form the past...happened already



The most liberating thing you can do is to get past caring what other people think.

As I have said to friends in the past... you wouldn't worry so much about what people think of you, if you realized how little they do.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/15/2014 12:42:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: straponlover2015

good point, my problem is i seem to have tendencies to run into vanilla people i know form the past...happened already


If you have ever been to a munch, you'll know that people attending don't go there all dressed up in BDSM gear.
And, it is usually in a vanilla setting such as a cafe or bar or restaurant.

So.... if you did happen to see a vanilla person you know, how are they to know you are there for a different reason?

Seems to me like you're using that as a lame excuse for laziness.



FieryOpal -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/15/2014 5:23:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

If you have ever been to a munch, you'll know that people attending don't go there all dressed up in BDSM gear.
And, it is usually in a vanilla setting such as a cafe or bar or restaurant.

So.... if you did happen to see a vanilla person you know, how are they to know you are there for a different reason?

Seems to me like you're using that as a lame excuse for laziness.

Not only that, if OP is running into vanilla people in other settings which are in any way compromising or objectionable (say, inside or near a sex shop), then what are they doing there?

I think that OP needs to overcome his shyness or whatever social anxieties are impediments to him in life, not just insofar as finding a Domme is concerned. How are you going to be useful as a slave if there is a wall of shite that you can't overcome in getting mundane tasks done beyond the confines of the nest? Take baby steps, but at least take that first step to get where you want to go.



xKinkyDomina -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/17/2014 10:15:09 AM)

OP:
If you want to get your kink on, but you're not willing to go meet real people, go to a Dungeon, explain your needs and get it on. That's a private setting.



evesgrden -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/17/2014 2:12:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic


quote:

ORIGINAL: straponlover2015

good point, my problem is i seem to have tendencies to run into vanilla people i know form the past...happened already



The most liberating thing you can do is to get past caring what other people think.

As I have said to friends in the past... you wouldn't worry so much about what people think of you, if you realized how little they do.




“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

― Eleanor Roosevelt

You might want credit your quote. The way you phrased it implies that you're the author.



Charles6682 -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/18/2014 12:19:15 PM)

I finally started my own Munch here in St. Pete where I live because of a number of reason's. But for this topic in particular, why not go to a Munch or start one wherever one live's. I mean, most Dommes aren't walking around saying, "here I am". I would go where most Dommes would go, which a good bet would be a Munch or some social function such as that.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: meeting Dommes/Mistresses (10/19/2014 7:41:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: straponlover2015

i don't care to go to local munches/meetings, is there another way to meet Dominant Females...


www.FreeDommeMeetUp.com



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