RE: WTF is wrong with me?

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Gauge -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 6:26:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: L8bloomer I had an entirely different take on the OP. My impression is that you've become aware (dare I say starting to awaken) of how this life is finite and how there are aspects of your life that need to be fulfilled and haven't been for a while. I hesitate to say this because of others' skeptical view (and possibly your own) but I will anyway: your soul is speaking to you and you're hearing it. Is there something wrong with you? I'd say it's more that there is something right about you for coming to these realizations. Yep. If you are asking the questions, chances are you are asking them for the right reasons.

kdsub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 8:02:14 PM)
JstAnotherSub you are not alone...Most people on this earth need others to feel complete... or to alleviate their fear of being alone. I'll bet you, as am I as well, do just fine by ourselves... It is just the way we are We do not need others and most of the time we go out of our way not to interact socially. This does not mean you cannot get lonely but does mean you need the type of relationship you can step back or away from the smothering feeling of others and their problems. Believe it or not there are others just like you and finding them for a relationship should be your goal. Find a person that is fine with occasional closeness but needs the same space you do....Want my number...lol Butch

Kirata -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 9:31:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub wtf is wrong with me I would recommend not giving a shit, as follows... The Elegant Art of Not Giving a Shit K.

DarkSteven -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/14/2014 9:41:52 PM)
Well, it may be that you are feeling life getting short. Or it might be slight depression. Have you had a physical lately?

flutterby55 -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/15/2014 4:36:35 AM)
You're not batshit crazy. We all change while remaining the same.

SweetnStormySub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/15/2014 6:59:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Well, it may be that you are feeling life getting short. Or it might be slight depression. Have you had a physical lately? I agree. You may want to discuss these feelings with your doc, because the sentiments you express are valid. Also, at our age, our body chemistry changes, so a full lab workup may be in order. The water aerobic classes will help and losing 35 pounds is a big deal. Nice work! Hang in there, sis. You're not alone (hug).

JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/15/2014 9:53:59 AM)
Yes, I get a physical every year. I also take my happy pills religiously, because I accepted several years ago that my brain needs the help. I have enjoyed all these replies, definitely has given me something to think about as I ponder wtf am I gonna do with my self so that I can enjoy the 50's more than any other decade!

kallisto -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/15/2014 5:35:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub Can anyone relate to any of this insanity or do I just need to go have a beer and not think any more today? Yes ma'am. Can definitely relate to the insanity. I have been thinking the very same thing about me ... and have certainly enjoyed reading the responses you got. Thanks JAS !!!! [:)]

dcnovice -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/15/2014 8:08:22 PM)
quote: Like, dammit I am fucking fat. I am working on that, not as hard as I could, but have been losing slowly and not regaining any for a year, probably lost a total of 35# ish. This caught my eye because I may have had a similar experience. Pretty much every major weight loss I've achieved (each of them 60-80 pounds) unleashed a brutal bout of depression, one of which sent me to the hospital for a fortnight. This puzzled me. Shouldn't achieving such a difficult and long-desired goal have made my life golden, not gray? On reflection, I think two things were happening: (a) Overeating was my go-to technique for literally stuffing down unhappiness and any other feelings I couldn't face. And I'd never developed coping skills for addressing life's body blows and ankle bites any other way. Mind you, I don't suggest putting the weight back on! I tried that and have since learned that I can be plenty depressed while morbidly obese. But if I plan to shed weight, I definitely need to sharpen some other skills. (b) I'm not entirely sure why, but my approach to sexuality has largely been "If I ignore it, maybe it will go away." And at 300+ pounds, it pretty much did. Weight loss brings me face-to-face with the whole surreal landscape of (in my case) boy-meet-boy, and that's terrain where I feel like a visitor who brought the wrong currency. This may help, or it may have nothing to do with you. In either case, my warmest wishes! [:)]

DaddySatyr -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/16/2014 5:16:15 AM)
I've been "stewing" about this for a day or two, now ... quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I didn't see any passive aggressiveness in his reply. Perhaps you missed the part that these have been dates from POF. While I am hoping to find a domly type, and I dropped plenty of hints on my profile, I would laugh in the face of a man who did more than drop subtle hints for the first few dates. If he offered to take me shopping, I would run for the fucking hills. ... and I gotta tell ya: Even if we met on this site, there's no way I'm going to start "making demands" (even little ones) until I've seen one of those (what I call) "little signs of submission". I will say this, though: Even with ladies to whom I'm not attracted and with whom I'm not even on a date, I ask them to do me the favor of helping me to live up to my upbringing. I hold doors open. I hold chairs. I walk in front of a lady going down stairs and behind her, going up (I have to admit that this affords me a nice view of her ass so ... BONUS!). If a lady doesn't co-operate with me on this, I tend to drift off; whether it's a dating situation or just a friendship. When I'm out and I see a male and a female ... show up at a restaurant and he doesn't go around the car to open her door and offer a hand to "help" her out, my first thought is: "Either this guy is a real yum-yum or whoever raised him dropped the ball". Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) *still* RULE! Ya feel me?

GoddessManko -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/16/2014 5:26:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr I've been "stewing" about this for a day or two, now ... quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I didn't see any passive aggressiveness in his reply. Perhaps you missed the part that these have been dates from POF. While I am hoping to find a domly type, and I dropped plenty of hints on my profile, I would laugh in the face of a man who did more than drop subtle hints for the first few dates. If he offered to take me shopping, I would run for the fucking hills. ... and I gotta tell ya: Even if we met on this site, there's no way I'm going to start "making demands" (even little ones) until I've seen one of those (what I call) "little signs of submission". I will say this, though: Even with ladies to whom I'm not attracted and with whom I'm not even on a date, I ask them to do me the favor of helping me to live up to my upbringing. I hold doors open. I hold chairs. I walk in front of a lady going down stairs and behind her, going up (I have to admit that this affords me a nice view of her ass so ... BONUS!). If a lady doesn't co-operate with me on this, I tend to drift off; whether it's a dating situation or just a friendship. When I'm out and I see a male and a female ... show up at a restaurant and he doesn't go around the car to open her door and offer a hand to "help" her out, my first thought is: "Either this guy is a real yum-yum or whoever raised him dropped the ball". Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) *still* RULE! Ya feel me? The clouds just parted and I can hear the hallelujah chorus. Thank you very much!!!! Sentiments 1000% requited! To me this is so fundamental and even when I don't want it to, it WILL irk me and I would have to say something.

Greta75 -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/16/2014 5:27:57 AM)
quote: ... and I gotta tell ya: Even if we met on this site, there's no way I'm going to start "making demands" (even little ones) until I've seen one of those (what I call) "little signs of submission". I will say this, though: Even with ladies to whom I'm not attracted and with whom I'm not even on a date, I ask them to do me the favor of helping me to live up to my upbringing. I hold doors open. I hold chairs. I walk in front of a lady going down stairs and behind her, going up (I have to admit that this affords me a nice view of her ass so ... BONUS!). If a lady doesn't co-operate with me on this, I tend to drift off; whether it's a dating situation or just a friendship. When I'm out and I see a male and a female ... show up at a restaurant and he doesn't go around the car to open her door and offer a hand to "help" her out, my first thought is: "Either this guy is a real yum-yum or whoever raised him dropped the ball". I definitely dig all these old school stuffs that men do ALOT! The other day, my girlfriend's 3 yr old boy ran to pull out my chair for me when we went to a restaurant. I was so impressed! His daddy is teaching him well. My girlfriend does have a fantastic husband who really pampers and take good care of her. That little boy is precious too, we went for a trail walk and he offered to carry my backpack for me lol. And I let him try, he could barely lift it and had to drag it, I of course took it back from him and thank him for trying.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/16/2014 4:49:05 PM)
I just thought this fit my state of mind, and this thread! [image]local://upfiles/633062/F5809C7BA19049E8AFE8DD1DED6F3649.jpg[/image]

DomKen -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/16/2014 8:54:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr I've been "stewing" about this for a day or two, now ... quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I didn't see any passive aggressiveness in his reply. Perhaps you missed the part that these have been dates from POF. While I am hoping to find a domly type, and I dropped plenty of hints on my profile, I would laugh in the face of a man who did more than drop subtle hints for the first few dates. If he offered to take me shopping, I would run for the fucking hills. ... and I gotta tell ya: Even if we met on this site, there's no way I'm going to start "making demands" (even little ones) until I've seen one of those (what I call) "little signs of submission". I will say this, though: Even with ladies to whom I'm not attracted and with whom I'm not even on a date, I ask them to do me the favor of helping me to live up to my upbringing. I hold doors open. I hold chairs. I walk in front of a lady going down stairs and behind her, going up (I have to admit that this affords me a nice view of her ass so ... BONUS!). If a lady doesn't co-operate with me on this, I tend to drift off; whether it's a dating situation or just a friendship. When I'm out and I see a male and a female ... show up at a restaurant and he doesn't go around the car to open her door and offer a hand to "help" her out, my first thought is: "Either this guy is a real yum-yum or whoever raised him dropped the ball". I got set up on a date with a sub by mutual friends a while back who thought we'd like each other and the date went terribly and it got back to me that she thought I wasn't a dom because I was polite to her during the date. I wondered what she expected? Was I supposed to spank her or something the first time we met in a public place?

Greta75 -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/16/2014 8:58:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomKen I got set up on a date with a sub by mutual friends a while back who thought we'd like each other and the date went terribly and it got back to me that she thought I wasn't a dom because I was polite to her during the date. I wondered what she expected? Was I supposed to spank her or something the first time we met in a public place? Probably compatibility. I always think if a dom isn't polite to me, his not really a dom, but an insecure person, trying to prove his dominant. Totally opposite from her.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/17/2014 4:54:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub I am usually an upbeat "it is what it is" kinda gal. But, for the past week I have been wondering just exactly wtf is wrong with me. Not a drowning in sorrow kinda thing, but more of a reality kind of thing. Like, dammit I am fucking fat. I am working on that, not as hard as I could, but have been losing slowly and not regaining any for a year, probably lost a total of 35# ish. I don't really enjoy people. The only time I care about going out and having a drink is when there is a good band. I will manage to have conversations during breaks, but when the music is playing, I hit a zone that is damn near impenetrable. I love that zone. Love my job 99 days outta every 100. I count enjoying it that much as more money per year. It makes just barely keeping a step ahead of the bills not quite as disturbing! Started making my self go on dates from POF. Been on several 1st dates, a few 2nd, and a couple of 3rds. No fireworks with anyone, but a couple of them were not horrible. As I ponder the whole "dating at 52, while fat and anti social", thing (watch for the book) hahaha. As I ponder that, I wonder wtf is wrong with me. I cannot decide if I am batshit crazy and scare folks off, or if I am so comfortable alone, I put them off in some other way. Got to thinking, I don't think I have ever "dated" much. In my younger days, I fucked who I wanted to fuck, usually on the first time meeting them and sometimes we ended up spending a few weeks, months, or hell 20 years with the ex together. I cannot find that fuck on the first meeting place again I don't think. I did have a nice relationship with a domly dude for a good while, but I realized today that that was 9 fucking years ago! 9 MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do 9 years fly by like that? Anyhow, for the first time in 12 years, I actually miss having someone in my life, and I am afraid that 12 years not caring about it has made me sit around and wonder wtf is wrong with me. Can anyone relate to any of this insanity or do I just need to go have a beer and not think any more today? [sm=2cents.gif] welcomed, unless you happen to be a total douchecanoe. #1, You are a completely awesome person....so fuck all those other pricks. #2, I'm older, fat(ter), balder and I don't date all that much either (but I'm told I have a rather fine ass). #3 If you lived near here, I'd let you move in and be a roomie without batting an eye :)

JstAnotherSub -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/18/2014 8:13:47 AM)
dammit Lookie, if I looked like Pamela, and was domme, I would own yer sweet ass! lolol I think i am just at a point where changes are needed. I am actively seeking a transfer after 15 years in the same department, 10 as a manager. Hoping to transfer to accounts payable in the same department, I am realizing that I am fed up with trying to get people who do not give a fuck to do their jobs. I can make more money doing something where I just have to worry about me doing my job. Going to tell my supervisor as soon as I can, thinking she will support me, and the department head already said she would love to have me on her team, because I will understand it right off the bat. Still aint sure exactly what all is the fuck wrong with me, but I am going to bite off little chunks til I get to the creamy middle of it all!

LookieNoNookie -> RE: WTF is wrong with me? (10/19/2014 7:36:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub dammit Lookie, if I looked like Pamela, and was domme, I would own yer sweet ass! lolol I think i am just at a point where changes are needed. I am actively seeking a transfer after 15 years in the same department, 10 as a manager. Hoping to transfer to accounts payable in the same department, I am realizing that I am fed up with trying to get people who do not give a fuck to do their jobs. I can make more money doing something where I just have to worry about me doing my job. Going to tell my supervisor as soon as I can, thinking she will support me, and the department head already said she would love to have me on her team, because I will understand it right off the bat. Still aint sure exactly what all is the fuck wrong with me, but I am going to bite off little chunks til I get to the creamy middle of it all! :) (I think I'd rather be in A/R...much more fun getting money).

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