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Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 7:32:54 PM

Looking4F2M

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/18/2014
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First of all, I apologize in advance for displaying my ignorance. I'm not too familiar with TG/TS lifestyle and terminology, so what I ask may be either too newbyish or just use wrong terms. If so, feel free to set me straight.

I have recently realized that I am strongly attracted to the following (to me, unusual) combination:

- Physiologically, female (as in, born as female and has female genitalia. I'm quite fine with someone with boyish looks though).

- Gender-wise, self-identifies as male (e.g. is Trans).

- But sexuality wise, is attracted to men (so is homosexual if you judge by self-identification but straight by physiological sex).

Is there a proper term to encompass who I seek?

Thank you in advance.

Post #: 1

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 8:33:43 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
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Hey OP, I would say the terms would be one of the following, "androgynous" or self identified as "queer" or "gender bender". The person I'm thinking of is like Jenny Shimizu but hetero or bi. Homosexual by self identification as you stated.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 2

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 9:42:53 PM

Looking4F2M

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Joined: 10/18/2014
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Thanks for taking the time to answer!

The problem with all those terms is that none of them specifies female physical form. They are all just as unhelpful to me as simply saying "TG" - too generic, and thus matching the vast majority of TG people who are male physically.

It's like saying you like "straight" people without specifying if you like straight men or women.

(in reply to GoddessManko)

Post #: 3

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 10:08:16 PM

SapiosexualSlut

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Joined: 10/15/2014
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I'm curious why you specify someone who's transgender? I mean, it seems you want a woman's body with no surgeries to have that altered (which the vast majority of trans identified people will do, if able to) but have her be kind of masculine in dress and appearance? Or do you want someone born female who's also on hormones and going through the surgeries? Personally I'd classify the second example as transgender but not the first, from what I know that'd just be a girl who's a tomboy.

(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 4

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 10:30:04 PM

Looking4F2M

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Joined: 10/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SapiosexualSlut

I'm curious why you specify someone who's transgender? I mean, it seems you want a woman's body with no surgeries to have that altered (which the vast majority of trans identified people will do, if able to) but have her be kind of masculine in dress and appearance? Or do you want someone born female who's also on hormones and going through the surgeries? Personally I'd classify the second example as transgender but not the first, from what I know that'd just be a girl who's a tomboy.

I could be way wrong on this but isn't that a difference between transgender (simply identifying with opposite gender) and transsexual (actively changing to opposite gender)? As I said, I'm not very clear on correct terminology. I want someone who's NOT had surgery (no strong preference on hormones but probably prefer no on that as well).

I don't care if my partner is masculine or feminine in appearance or dress. I care more that they psychologically identify as male (whether that reflects in appearance or not is far less important - it's their psyche/thinking that I care about).

< Message edited by Looking4F2M -- 10/18/2014 10:31:09 PM >

(in reply to SapiosexualSlut)

Post #: 5

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 10:35:02 PM

SapiosexualSlut

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Joined: 10/15/2014
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I see, well to be honest I don't think there is a term for that. Though I wouldn't be just looking in the trans community for someone, because a significant portion of them are not going to be comfortable with their bodies as they are and you want someone who's female bodied and will stay that way. I'm definitely still sticking to that side of my advice LOL You'll probably resonate more with women who are genderqueer than anything else.

(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 6

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 10:46:47 PM

Looking4F2M

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Joined: 10/18/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SapiosexualSlut

I see, well to be honest I don't think there is a term for that. Though I wouldn't be just looking in the trans community for someone, because a significant portion of them are not going to be comfortable with their bodies as they are and you want someone who's female bodied and will stay that way. I'm definitely still sticking to that side of my advice LOL You'll probably resonate more with women who are genderqueer than anything else.

That may be true. Though a vast majority of genderqueer women I ever met weren't interested in men sexually... could be a trend or just a quirk of who I meet.

(in reply to SapiosexualSlut)

Post #: 7

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/18/2014 11:01:44 PM

SapiosexualSlut

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Joined: 10/15/2014
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You have to realize that you're already fishing in a very small pond with kink, plus when you add "must identify as male mentally, but has to be female bodied and attracted to men" you've probably only got a few hundred women in the world who meet your criteria and the likely hood of you meeting even a fraction of them is very, very small.

(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 8

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/19/2014 3:30:03 AM

freedomdwarf1

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I think the old-fashioned term of "tomboy" is very apt.

In my teens (many years ago) I used to go out with such a female.
Very female in her body build (quite busty too, I might add!) but she was sexually attracted to males (as you would expect) but mentally, she was a male and was always 'one of the lads' in all but dress.

With today's weird and diverse terminology covering all aspects of sexuality, many people forget the old ways.
"Tomboy" is indeed a very apt description of the type of person you seek.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 9

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/19/2014 4:11:19 AM

PeonForHer

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... Or 'hoyden'.

noun
1.
a boisterous, bold, and carefree girl; a tomboy.

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Post #: 10

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/19/2014 5:58:15 AM

Miyani

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Joined: 12/4/2007
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I'm also intrigued by the potential reasons why they must identify as male, without having any of the transition surgeries or hormones. Is it simply more stereotypically masculine behavior patterns and sexual tendencies that you're hoping to find?

You may discover that many dominants who ID as female display those as well. We tend to be assertive, outspoken about our sexuality and sexual desires, and (in many cases, not all) enjoy the more stereotypically masculine "pursuer" role, though I'd say everyone, male and female, also enjoys being courted from time to time.

I myself ID as gender fluid - I seem to move internally along the spectrum of male to female. And I tend to be more male leaning in terms of my internal gender, as well as in terms of the people I'm attracted to. But aside from the label I've claimed, I'm not sure there's much that makes me different from many dominants who ID as wholly female (or many dominants who ID as wholly male).

Without putting gender labels on it, perhaps it would be helpful to decide what kind of person you want and seek that out, rather than trying to find a very specific niche that likely only exists in tiny numbers?

Edited to add: Never mind, I see that you're looking for submissives. I'm afraid that may make your pool even smaller, given the nature of stereotypical gender mannerisms. But good luck!

< Message edited by Miyani -- 10/19/2014 5:59:29 AM >

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 11

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/20/2014 9:37:49 PM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Looking4F2M

First of all, I apologize in advance for displaying my ignorance. I'm not too familiar with TG/TS lifestyle and terminology, so what I ask may be either too newbyish or just use wrong terms. If so, feel free to set me straight.

I have recently realized that I am strongly attracted to the following (to me, unusual) combination:

- Physiologically, female (as in, born as female and has female genitalia. I'm quite fine with someone with boyish looks though).

- Gender-wise, self-identifies as male (e.g. is Trans).

- But sexuality wise, is attracted to men (so is homosexual if you judge by self-identification but straight by physiological sex).

Is there a proper term to encompass who I seek?

Thank you in advance.

Ya... Tom boys. Love 'em. Oh! Hoyden... well done PeonForHer. Haven't heard that term since spelling tests in school.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 10/20/2014 9:39:17 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 12

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/21/2014 3:46:42 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Looking4F2M

First of all, I apologize in advance for displaying my ignorance. I'm not too familiar with TG/TS lifestyle and terminology, so what I ask may be either too newbyish or just use wrong terms. If so, feel free to set me straight.

I have recently realized that I am strongly attracted to the following (to me, unusual) combination:

- Physiologically, female (as in, born as female and has female genitalia. I'm quite fine with someone with boyish looks though).

- Gender-wise, self-identifies as male (e.g. is Trans).

- But sexuality wise, is attracted to men (so is homosexual if you judge by self-identification but straight by physiological sex).

Is there a proper term to encompass who I seek?

Thank you in advance.

Yes: Seeking.

(in reply to Looking4F2M)

Post #: 13

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/21/2014 3:56:32 PM

deathtothepixies

Posts: 683
Joined: 2/19/2012
Status: offline

two points

shouldn't it be whom, not who.

who seeks? I look, or I search. This "seeking" thing is a BDSM bit of nonsense

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The word god is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 14

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/21/2014 4:08:10 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deathtothepixies

two points

shouldn't it be whom, not who.

who seeks? I look, or I search. This "seeking" thing is a BDSM bit of nonsense

Hmmmm.....well.....Looking4F2M....I believe you've just been called out!

(in reply to deathtothepixies)

Post #: 15

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/21/2014 7:54:33 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

OP, I'm with SapiosexualSlut here. Any FtM will hate the female parts of her body and won't like your attraction to them.

You've made it clear that you want someone female- bodied. The part that I don't understand is what male qualities you'd want this person to have. Working outside the home? Likes to watch football?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 16

RE: Is there a proper term for who I seek? - 10/22/2014 10:40:52 PM

starkem

Posts: 159
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

I've had an interest in butch lesbians that topped men. As far as terms, I am opposed to them. There are preop and top surgery FTMs (female to male) with breast removed that identify as male by gender and homosexual by sexual attraction to males even though they have kept their vagina. The majority with these descriptions are gay boy bottoms, but are quite a few with vaginas that identify as top male. It is less frequent to find such persons.

I am more considerate of the term genders fluid, gender flexible or gender queer. I would stick to searching for either bisexual butch top that dresses and acts male , but wants some dick too, or FTM submisives that are sexually gay. Don't put so much of your focus on anatomy or gender identity as it could be potentially offensive to anyone with such characteristics. It can be quite a sensitive issue for the LGBT community in general. Craigslist and YouTube would be ideal for your specific search. In the meantime, I would focus more on an introductory education of trans men in general before approaching them something of a conversation that is unsettling or harming.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 17

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